Hi,
I have struggled with my gambling addiction on and off for 10 years now, and being 32, this has felt like the entirety of my adult life.
Over those 10 years I have lost relationships and frayed friendships and connections with family.
In the last 7 weeks, both my Gamstop and Moses bans came to an end simultaneously and instead of doing the smart thing I let the darkness of my addiction creep back in and proceeded to gamble.
I lost the entirety of my wages on sports betting leaving me unable to pay any bills or my rent, and although I came clean about this relatively quickly, I know my partner and family feel let down and unable to trust me again which is totally understandable.
The relationship with my current partner ended 8 years ago due to my gambling and lying about it, and having just found each other again in the last 5-6 months, to put her through that pain again is soul destroying and so unfair on her.
All I can say is that I am incredibly sorry for what I’ve put her through again and hope that she can find it somewhere in her heart to forgive me, so that I can rebuild that trust again.
If this has taught me anything, its that I never want to put myself, my family or my partner through this again and I am determined to work on this every day until I have it under-control, whatever that looks like.
Thanks for reading!
We can do this!
L
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Dear Lshaw92,
Thank you for sharing this so honestly on the Forum,
I can hear the impact this lapse/relapse has had on you. I am sure in the future you will set alarms or other external prompts to update your gambling blocks. The good news is that you sound genuinely determined to not ‘test’ this ever again and to tighten-down on strategies in your gambling recovery journey.
You and/or your partner and family/friends are welcome to contact us on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 and discuss any further support you may benefit from. Many Forum users have spoken about how regularly attending our peer support Chatrooms and keeping a diary on this Forum has helped them to sustain long-lasting change.
Best Wishes,
Louise
Forum Admin
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