after years of hiding online casino losses I have finally run out of road. I recently moved to London for work and before Christmas my wife got really angry at my hours in the office and feeling alone.
it sparked a frenziedfew weeks for me. Ifelt guilt at making my family move into a job I'm drowning in..but it is the only job I'm qualified for.
i turned to gamvling. I don't know why..as an escape. And I've gambled away all our savingsand gone £20k into debt. I probably lost £45k in less than a month. I cant sleep, cant look at wife or kids, i cant get out of bed when my wife needs my help. I cant tell her..i hate myself. I wont kill myself because it would ruin my family's life even more. Today I stop...but Ill never get over the shame, pain and depression.
Hi
Does you wife know ?
I just wonder as you sound low and its awful reflecting as gamblers the destruction
of finances and self worth
Keep posting
Hi Pabloc
Welcome to the forum you will find a very supportive community of people here who understand how you feel so please keep reading and posting.
It sounds like you are in a very difficult place at the moment and I would urge you to call our helpline and speak to an adviser on our freephone number 0808 8020 133 or on the netline we are open everyday 8am until midnight. Sometimes it can be very helpful to talk to someone and our helpline provides confidential advice, information and emotional support. We can put you in touch with a local GamCare face-to-face counsellor or signpost you to other services in your area such as Gamblers Anonymous meetings.
You don’t need to go through this alone. There are lots of ways to access help from GamCare and other agencies.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
Hi Pabloc
I feel your pain mate as all us gamblers do is ruin or family life and relationships. We are never big enough or man enough to reach out and ask for help ! My new moto after getting caught out again is "it's good to talk". I like you feel have ruined my family life with my wife and kids, hopefully I can regain the trust and respect of my kids back, but think this time I have flushed everything down the drain with the wife regards our relationship but I will fight tooth n nail to get her back ! Like you say it's the shame, pain and depression we have caused but I would try and tell her I really would, she will be very very angry but hopefully will understand your addiction/illness in time !
All the Best
Darren
bThanks for the comments. I told my wife last night as it seemed to be the best thing to do.wow it didn't go well. I mean really scary. It is seared on my soul now and will probably help me never gamble again. But I'm not sure if my marriage will survive
One day at a time....have you got blocks in place, and spoken to gamcare about counselling? Your wife can also get support ...does she know about gamcare? She is going to be very hurt, shocked and frightened. Does she now have control of the finances? Keep talking.
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