Well here I am.
After a horrific day,went almost 200 days without a bet previously until toda.,received some bad news then went straight to the bookies, straight onto the fobt and wasted everything, put all the money I had into that machine, but the awful thing was I was almost hoping that my number didnt come up (how stupid is that).
I sit here with an amount of monet to survive on as I always leave some of my wages at home hidden away as I know I would gamble them if something bad happens.
I sit here a broken man, 200 days ago i sat a broken man, how on earth did I let myself get into this position. I've tried to stop so many times but can't.
Went to see the doctor last week who has placed me on anti deperessants, I never told him that i had a gambling problem, the company I work for have noticed something is not right as they told me too have a fortnight off on sick leave as they say I look exhausted.
I feel awful but hopefully by admitting my problems I can take a step upwards and start again.
Hello mate, I know some of what you are going through, I made 175 days gamble free recently ( my best run in 18 years) but relapsed and lost about £2.5k in a month, I was devastated and felt like I was back at square one and can't beat this, but I dusted myself down , forgot about the money and got back on the horse, I'm currently 15 days gamble free again and feel stronger now for going through the relapse, you can beat this! Try and remain strong even though it's really hard. Start day one again and join the 2016 challenge thread it helped me lots.
Take it easy
I done 11 months gamble free and paid off all my debts and was in a good place. I then lost about 3k and was deep in misery and seen no way out. However i am determined to beat this and have a normal life. Im currently on day 23 and although its nothing really in starting to feel bit better despite having debts
Hello Ted2016
Welcome to the forum.
Similarly I've almost wanted to lose on the FOBT. I've been known to play them for so long that I'll be hungry, thirsty, my eyes will be stinging and I'll up the stakes to lose quickly or win big. On the very rare occasions it's the latter I'll then spend hours having 'one last bet'.
200 days is a great effort. What worked then?
Putting barriers in place is always a good place to start: self-exclusion, blocking software and handing over finances are all good to help you stop and take stock of your situation without causing anymore financial hardship.
From there different things work for different people. Counselling, CBT, religion, GA, hypnosis are a few options.
GamCare offer free counselling, netline, a helpline, chatroom and forum. You're never alone here. Use anything that helps as much as you need to.
Read around the forum to read how others deal with their gambling addiction.
johnlostmydo's suggestion to join the 2016 Challenge thread in the 'overcoming problem gambling' part of the forum is an excellent way to be actively involved in the forum.
Signing up here can prove to be a very productive way to spend your time off.
Well done for admitting your problem and I look forward to following your progress.
Blessings
Glint
Thanks for all your messages, feel so tired today and keep thinking about what I could have bought with the money I have lost over the past few years.
Went 200 days with alot of hard work and determination. Have taken the step of self excluding from the 2 bookies in my town today. I never have gambled on the internet so that isn't a problem.
Been on to stepchange today and starting to sort my finances out. Took the day off work to sit and catch up with all the debt collection letters. Will look through them all and contact them to arrange repayment through stepchange.
Making positive steps today,so haven't given myself time to think about betting.
Ted
I always find when I'm back gambling that I need to reach rock bottom before I can draw a line under it and move forward. Things can only get better once you have stopped gambling
DAY 2
Think I finally reached rock bottom on Sunday, sick of lying and deceiving people to carry on this awful addiction.
Had a strange gambling related dream last night, was on deal or no deal and gambled on winning the £250,000, only ended up with a 1p. Strange thing is I never watch the programme. Anyways it was only a dream.
At work today. Sorted a lot of debt related things out yesterday, signed up on a dmp with stepchange.
Will join the 2016 challenge soon. Hoping that counting the days will help my momentum.
DAY 4
Woke up this morning to 2 different betting sites offering me free bets on the premier league.
Opted out of any more communications from them and deleted the emails. Really pleased as on a different day I would have taken advantage and ended ip siging up for that company.
Anyway start of day 4, things going well at the moment.
Well done Ted, before you know it, it'll be a week gamble free for you.
You do well to delete the emails, infact block them. Encouraging adverts and promotions to gamble are all around us unfortunately, but if you feel tempted, just come back here and read, read, read and you'll know, not gambling is the sensible option.
You made 200 days before, which is a fantastic achievement, you know what you have to do, to achieve that again and better it this time.
Just to update as I haven't been online for the past week.
Had no real urges to gamble, do look at the football and say I should've had a tenner on a 3:1 win, but I know if I had had that tenner it would've ledto another and another and before I know it I'd be down £100.
Starting to sort finances out. Estimated to be debt free by 2023. Sounds a long time but hey only 6 and half years it will fly by.
Really pleased with how things are going at the moment. But i'm not a fool and know I've been here before so am not getting to complacent and have limited myself to only carrying small amounts of money plus a very close friend has my bank card.
Determined to carry on this time, honestly feel im in a better place now than at any other times I've tried to stop.
Will update again soon.
Ted
Pleased to read a positive update Ted.
Absolutely right about the debt. By letting the losses go and taking responsibility it can help move you on from gambling rather than gambling your way into bigger debt.
Keep up the good work!
Massive well done for getting your finances in order. It's really difficult having to sort through paperwork where the reality of those numbers are staring you in the face, but to succeed it has to be done.
Stupid really, I don't even know you but I feel really proud of you!
Maybe it's because I'm thinking of the way it made me feel when I was in a similar position. I apologise if this comes across sounding too personal.
Stay strong, you can do this!!
Li'l miss L
Thank you so much for such a lovely message little miss lost, makes me feel really good.
Sorry for the late response but had been saving up to take my son camping and I surprised him at the last minute so took him camping for the last week of the school holidays.
This is something that never would have happend had I been still gambling as that mobey would have been wasted giving it to the local bookie.
Had a great time just the 2 of us and dont think I've actually laughed so much in ages. Only get to see him at weekends so was superb to spend a whole week in his company.
Got back to work today to be told everyone is receiving a 50p an hour pay rise. So that extra money a week I will straight away put towards upping my debt management plan payment, so my debts will be paid off sooner.
Hope everyone is ok and feeling positive. Cant believe how much clearer im thinking things through now im gamble free.
My count will be 28 days tommorow, so 4 weeks and already I'm putting so much things into plan.
Mustn't get complacent though, as many say I could never win because I could never stop.
Hi Ted,
Reading this thread was my lunch break today. It was so sad to read your opening post, then by your last post I could see your strength is still there to fight this terrible addiction. BIG well done to you there!
I'm just reaching the 7 months gamble free. Don't count the days, just want to be gamble free at Christmas and New Year then move onto my 1 year mark in February. So reading threads like yours, people being honest with their relapse, are sad but can help other members. Take extra strength from the massive 200 days you did and continue with onward with the 28.
In the latter days of my gambling addiction I didn't really care if I won or lost, it was just a fix. That's the addiction. You weren't in a good place when you relapsed, but you found the strength in the darkness to go to the doctor and seek help as you knew what you had done was wrong, again well done! Especially when you were then signed off work for two weeks, you've done well staying of a bet during this period. I think this proves that you learnt a lot during your recovery and your already using these strengths to combat another slip. Again well done, I'm proud of you.
All the best Shep.
So great to read your last post. Just look what a difference a month makes!!
Stay strong and keep totting those gf days up so I can wish you many more happy treats for you and your son.
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