Telling others

Hi, sorry you recieved the reaction you did from your close colleague, it in my opinion goes to show that you have to be really careful who you unload this addicative problem too, personally I think most people don't get it, lets be honest do we really understand why we have gambled heavily?. I think for me the only people who understand me are my counsellor ane the fellow sufferer's on here. That's why it is such a secretive illness, I reckon if i told my boss what i had done his reaction would be 'stupid brainless idiot get out of here' - a complete lack of understanding of the issue, which to be fair can only be expected. if you throw money 'away' most people's reaction is 'stupid fool'. So i am not suprised by your colleagues reaction, but i feel for you because you wanted understanding and support and got nothing. I guess you need to be more selective in who you tell, be careful, good luck in your recovery.

Hiya , I agree with LML above but also believe some people just feel uncomfortable in sharing , I've had lots of reactions most of them really positive but the reactions I've had from people I used to gamble alongside for many years have been the strangest of all , especially when I first gave up, initially it was all "well done " " I wish I could stop " but as time's gone on and I haven't returned to my old ways it's like I've got leprosy whenever I say Hi in the street ?.

I know it's not quite the same thing your describing but you get my drift ? As long as the people that matter most to you are comfortable and supportive I really wouldn't worry too much , or it could be that just maybe your colleague has their own

" Little secret " ??.

Best wishes for now :))

It isnt a secretive illness because of the reasons stated above. Its a secretive illness because those who have it choose to keep it a secret. From their partners, friends, everyone. Step out of the shadows & people will begin to understand. Or do we expect someone else to make the changes for us to benefit from them.

This is my business partner I'm talking about hear an we wind each other up that much about everything and anything he's been there when I had a winning streak (5grand) left his at 11pm to be picked up at 8am with nothing I told him I blew it an he didn't believe me an he does gamble but as every gambler know you only tell people about winning never losing it got to the point in the bookies the where he wouldnt leave a machine an every 20 he put in ( at this point I knew what my limits where about 7 months ago) I counted 320 his cut of the job we had just completed anyway found myself drifting off topic, I'm going to try an tell him again threw the week I'll let you know the outcome go steady you lot, 11.58pm about to enter day 6 a happy man RBDTR x

Well done on day 6! Perhaps your partner already has an idea of your gambling addiction and doesn't know how to deal with it? Do you think he may think it will affect your partnership? Whatever it is, you need to talk to him about it. Good luck with that and keep on winning by not losing, my friend x

You'll find the understanding that you need in a GA room. All get it because all are CGs and all are there to help themselves and each other overcome the addiction. Don't be put off by negative images of men in flat caps talking about religion. That's not the reality.

Like anything else, the help is there but you have to accept it.

Wish you well.

CW

I think sometimes people who are still active CGs are jealous that you've managed to stop. I know a guy who says he "loves" betting but he's never got a pot to P-iss in. I think it's important to be discerning about who we tell but at the same bringing it into the open can destigmatise what is becoming an increasing problem for many people especially with FOBTs. Just my view as always.

Hi RBDTR.

Its a case of being careful who you tell in a work situation where people may be less close or understanding.

One time in a training situation I casually mentioned to a gambler to take care and he looked at me like I was from another planet. I did casually mention that I had stopped but again I got no other response from him other than an odd look and mumbling.

You see the gist of what he was saying was that he was a winner baby and all going great. To be fair if he wants to drop his money down a grid after paying his bills, thats his life and I cant say he has a problem unless he admits to one.

So I dont mention it to active gamblers away from this forum. I am strong in that I have seen the light but Ive noticed that active gamblers see it as preaching.

Some even do on this forum and you can see them go quiet like Ive got their heckles up. Its a case of being ready to stop and it took me 10 months after joining the forum

The best thing you can do in stopping is tell people in your family who will take a pride in helping you. If you feel actively monitored by people who love you, its more than half the battle against gambling.

The bottom line is you know that sinking feeling that you couldnt stop and its gone all out of control. That is an illness and an addiction. It can be cured with the right help

Best wishes from everyone on the forum