Hi,
I'm 36 years of age, and tongiht I finally seem to have clicked that there is more to life than betting!
I started with small bets back in 1998 (World Cup), and me and a school mate progressed to heavy betting by 2002. I have always been in a full time job since I was 20, and have literally £2 in my bank/savings accounts :o(
This is even more gauling when you consider I still live with my parents, dont have a partner/children, cant drive and have no assets whatsoever to my name!
My life revolves around going to work each day, and then sitting at home all weekend in my room betting online. I socialise on the very odd occassion, but even then I am checking my phone to look up football score updates instead of really connecting with the people I am with.
Through the years I have lost contact with my friends, and really dont have any close friends any more. I have f****d them all over by missing birthdays, weddings, nights out by inventing excuse after excuse ... always due to the fact that I have blown all my cash on betting, but would never admit this to them.
When I do meet up with them a few times a year now, I have no connection as they are all married with children and my connection is long gone.
I seem to love nothing better than getting home from work on a Friday night and to sit betting on football all weekend. Invariably I am broke by the Sunday night, and start reapplying for Payday loans to feed my addicitonn for the coming week. I am then usually broke for the next few weeks until payday, when I start in all over again.
I have been going on like this for around 10 years solid, and having zilch to show for it - apart from a lot of anxiety, stress, wrecked credit file, no money, no friends ... no life!!!
I feel like I need to finally stop kidding myself on that I can win it back. I've been saying this every payday for god knows how long! - but life without betting seems boring and pointless right now aswell :-/
A girl in my work was really interested in me recently, and I was going to go on a date ... but due to betting again I have no cash and have had to palm her off. She wont be back!
I dont even drive ... something I should have sorted years ago, but £200 a month on lessons sounds a lot to me - but I can chuck hundreads into a betting account on payday because I see that as an investment!?!
Over the years I have been given £10,000 on two occassions. I blew both lots on gambling within a month eachtime. One was inherited from a family member (who saved and worked hard for it!) and one was a settlement after an accident I had which resulted in me getting a fractured skull.
I should be saving around £1,000 each month in wages ... by now I should have £50,000 - 60,000 saved for a mortgage ... but I have zero. I could cry!
Everytime I speak to people from the past they ask where I am now living ... its so embaressing to tell them Im still at home. Makes me feel pathetic, and a moron. I have literally dont nothing with my life.
I have self excluded from websites, and will be giving my mum my wages from now on, minus money I need to buy my bus ticket for the month. She knows I have issues, but thought I sorted them a few years ago. She secretly does think I still gamble tho, which I deny!
I hope things will improve ... but it is a lonely place to be!
Hi newlife you have totally done the right thing starting your journey to being gambling free. I too have just started on mine and I'm spending alot of time on here while waiting to go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting and get Counselling. I'm taking one day at a time and I know it won't be easy but I feel like now is the time to get my life straightened out. Remember you're not alone were all here to offer support so good luck with your new beginning
Hello New life
You have made a very positive step.I to have had 10 years of compulsive gambling and today I realised I have nothing and completely isolated.you are still at an age where you can turn things around. It is a long haul but each day you will get stronger and see your bank balance improving.
Best wishes
Hi,
Your story is pretty similar to mine, until like you I decided to do something about it.
Myself, well, gambled since leaving school, made excuses not to go out, lost contact with some friends. My demons were Fruit Machines off line and then Slots on line.
In 2009, I was 38, I had no savings, just debts, lived at home and no chance of ever retiring. Yes by the time, you are in your 30's you most definitely should by now, be looking towards the future and if not already, be putting in place, plan to be able to afford to retire.
Also naturally, I wasn't married and no kids. So like you should be saving thousands over the years.
How did I stop, well I needed lots of willpower at first, I had support of family and friends and of strangers on forums like this.
Most of all, I needed to put in place every single block that I could to stop me gambling, no matter how embarrassing they were. Accounts closed down, credit cards destroyed and closed down, ready to pay off my debt, bank card to my mother, then only took money I needed out and made sure I accounted for it.
It can be done, but only when you really are ready to give it a go, no good going in on half measures, it really is give it all you got time.
I'm now 45, no debt, I no longer make excuses to not go out, because I'd rather spend money on a good night/weekend/week away, than in some slot. I've enough savings that if I lived up north I could afford to buy a nice 1 or 2 bedroom house outright. I doubt I'll get married and have kids, but it's not something I ever really wanted and I still live with my mother and brother, afterall, no point in throwing money at a huge mortgage in London, when I'm content with life and can buy outright in 10-15 years time.
Finally, I know that subject to unforseen changes in life, I can hopefully retire between 57 and 60 and live comfortably.
You can still control your destiny, but only you can say and mean it.
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