Vicious circle

Read your other posts...You have all the advice that is out there! You said you cannot stop or help yourself but you can, just probably not alone.

Did you “lapse” back into it or did you decide after 2 weeks that it would be different & you could control your gambling? You have to walk away from it once & for all! It may not feel like it, but you do have the choice! Whatever blocks you had in place weren’t blocks, get them higher & tighter. If you still haven’t come clean, re-read the advice from the loved ones...You will get found out eventually & telling her yourself maybe marginally less crushing than her only finding out because bills haven’t been paid.

It feels financial but this addiction isn’t about money, it’s about us being broken...Coming here when you lose isn’t enough. Get help - ODAAT

Why don't you join me and moorey in making next year a gamble free one and get a couple of months head start in. Think how good it will feel come January.

How do I get through to you fringe?

I did 10 months of where you are now after joining the forum. I was relapsing every month then every two weeks then every 6 days. I was also advising people which is just how crazy and powerful the addiction is. I got caught out with some tough talking which started to make me really think.

Then a Christmas of deep depression and I was really ready I did the right thing and took some tough action. If you think phoning my dad was easy to tell him I had been gambling the bailout money they gave to me ...well it wasnt but it was the right thing to fight an addiction that was destroying me mentally and physically. They check for any signs of money going astray now which gives me an aim and a healthy fear

It had to be done and so did proper blocks and monitoring

You have to forgive our frustration but you keep coming on and youve had the deadly serious advice. How long can you ride these losses before you lose everything? When will your family find out and can take no more....its clearly not yet but it will happen if you dont stop. The addiction creates a confused comfort zone and you are still riding it out

You are not blocking if you just find other sites...so you are in effect putting NO REAL blocks in place. Im sorry fringe but two weeks is not the test..its having proper blocks and living on a controlled allowance...thats the test you should be facing.

If online is your problem you cant have a computer that isnt restricted and monitored...do you get that or are you playing at this? And you should be talking more and replying because its an ongoing process. I dont think you get how this addiction works. Its got very little to do with willpower and going it alone in recovery

to anyone else reading this is time for tough talking so dont have a go at me. If fringe cant handle some tough talking then the addiction will continue. Obviously I am sympathetic and empathetic but Ive given advice before and want to help people

Join GA, get the blocks , phone Gamcare..... take the fight on and you will heal.

The alternative is you lose even more money and come back on the forum when you have lost money again. My gut feeling is you cant handle what we are saying and think we are just having a go at you for no reason

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi Fringe,

The cycle will break when YOU makes sure you are not able to gamble. I do strongly agree with Joydivider who has some very valid points! Tough talk might be hard to hear but your recovery will only be as good as the blocks you put in. If you can exclude from one site, only to join up with another one then you have ZERO blocks. You're still playing the Casino game of excluding with one, getting your fix elsewhere then when the limited self exclusion is up you'all be back with your first one, happily tickling away due to "good memories" and having forgotten the misery that place caused!

So how do I know? I did exactly what you are doing.......left my "fave", tried the new kid on the block and lost even more money! As for tough talk, some great people on this site were kind enough to really hit it home. I also had a few crossed words with myself and sorted my blocks out! Gambling doesn't get a look in, I still can't online if I want to! Been like that for nearly two years and to be honest, I haven't tried. But the blocks will never go because we all know gambling lurks in the background! One bad day, one bad night for whatever reason can start that betting life again. The thing is, after a while you don't miss it, you don't even know the blocks are there, you don't even think about gambling. If you're lucky like me you may decide you hate the industry and won't give them a penny of your hard earned cash again! Also life gets better, gambling fog lifts, you appreciate life a lot more. Finances get better, work is better as you know you're gonna keep hold of your cash. Emotionally you feel more stable, rational and dare I say happy. I might be rhapsodising here but you really don't miss it! In fact you may even go on to better yourself, those around you! All possible with some incredibly strong blocks and the desire to kick gambling! Down to you buddy! Start with K9 or Betfilter. Keywords on your router, cash to your partner, CC cards destroyed, downgrade to a brick from a smartphone! Gambling thrives on temptation, so stop any temptation or means to gamble! Frankly, it will kill you in the end. I'm not even over exaggerating!

Enjoy your recovery, but it's only ever going to be as successful as the blocks you put in place!

Take care,

Abet