Hi K2,
From someone who is nearly 280 days GF, i take on board what you are saying as you will certainly have more knowledge than me at giving this all up. Perhaps there is an element of me that thinks sticking a £5 footy bet on each weekend would still be acceptable, doing my regular numbers on the lottery would still be acceptable, and buying a scratchcard with pocket change equally acceptable. I don't know if it is or it isn't (baring in mind i am only approaching 2 days GF so still learning huge amounts by the hour!) as there seems to be a diverse opinion on problem/compulsive gambling, and controlled gambling. Its the extreme highs and lows which have lead me to this point, irrational thinking, not having any value for money and just seeing some numbers on a screen.
As far as i am aware no i have not done either, i gambled at work, when she was at work, or with my mates at the casino. Always online, never in shops. It has never been highlighted to me that there is a problem and we have a lovely life together, we barely bicker let alone argue. In my experience, women are soon to pick up on this sort of stuff and i am confident i would have been accused of being 'different'.
I just cannot face telling her as it stands, rightly or wrongly so.
"I cannot self exclude as i have pending bets on football".
3 accounts ?
I must have had more than 100.
Self exclusion using GAMSTOP for 5 years is the absolute the bare minimum requirement.
Absolutely nothing to stop you self excluding.
Had a huge bet on CL Final and Bet 365 have said i need pending bets to be settled to self exclude. I am waiting until Sunday to do this.
3 accounts was enough for me, i guess 1 is equally as bad as 100 though right? unsure if you are belittling my measly 3 accounts there in comparison, or perhaps its just come across that way.
" I did say didn't I " so don't go running for the hills or trenches and as long as you've a good tin helmet you'll survive the barrage of incoming .
The important thing is that " You'll work it out for yourself " what you can and can't do , how you feel and what to do if the urge to gamble strikes ( which it will ) , I'm still not saying that she shouldn't know and again reiterate Honesty's the best way forward but until your ready you won't tell and I get that but just remember to take on board what you need from this place and dump the rest , then if it doesn't work " Try something else " .
" I did say didn't I " so don't go running for the hills or trenches and as long as you've a good tin helmet you'll survive the barrage of incoming .
The important thing is that " You'll work it out for yourself " what you can and can't do , how you feel and what to do if the urge to gamble strikes ( which it will ) , I'm still not saying that she shouldn't know and again reiterate Honesty's the best way forward but until your ready you won't tell and I get that but just remember to take on board what you need from this place and dump the rest , then if it doesn't work " Try something else " .
Hi Alan
a little unsure as to what the first part refers to so cannot comment on that.
Perhaps its easier to have one generic rule for every compulsive gambler, lay it all out in the open from the off and build up from there. I get the logic with that, but surely its not a one glove fits all approach or there would only be the need for one statement to cover all? I know deep down what will happen if i spill the truth now, and i am just not ready for that. I am your typical man, i will get to the point i have to talk instead of talking off my own back.
It refer's to the difference in opinions of what's best :)).
Have you thought of asking admin to transfer your new members diary onto your recovery diary , that way there's no need to keep answering posts on both forums ? .
88anon,
Having caught up with what's been going on over the last few hours I imagine from what you've said that you're not yet quite ready to give up on gambling and ideally you're seeking to control it rather than abstain.
Whilst I don't believe personally that a compulsive gambler can ever gain control I know others on here who feel they can control it.
Each of us chooses their own path and I wish you well. Just be honest with everyone re your posts and your count that you're still gambling. It just makes it easier to avoid discussions in which a number of us may be at opposite ends.
Good luck with your Champions League bet.
Evening ALN
i am completely ready to give up gambling yes. I KNOW I cannot control it otherwise I wouldn’t be here writing this.
I have been totally honest throughout and that is what is helping me here. I do not have to fabricate the truth to anyone to cover anything up. Being able to rant about what I have done, anonymously, is doing good things for me.
In regard to the CL bet you quote, this was placed about 2 weeks ago when the gambling was at its worst. I was banned from bet 365 shortly after and they want to call me to re open my account after going through enhanced wealth verification which I cannot provide. I told them i want it to remain closed indefinitely and they cannot do that with an unsettled bet. I will email them on Sunday once the bet has been settled and tell them to withdraw all funds and close the account, or simply just close the account for good. Hope this clarifies the situation.
I am not ‘still gambling’.
“Bet 365 have said i need pending bets to be settled to self exclude.”
this is simply not the case. You can self exclude with b****5 with bets pending & they allow access to your account to withdraw funds.
3 accounts was enough for me, i guess 1 is equally as bad as 100 though right? unsure if you are belittling my measly 3 accounts there in comparison, or perhaps its just come across that way.
Apologies.
what I meant that if you close those 3 and don’t use say GAMSTOP to exclude across the board, there are simply dozens of more accounts you can open.
you have a large bet pending & you are likely to have the gambling mindset until that’s run it’s course.
Anyway I wish you well for the future.
Sorry 88anon I may have wrongly interpreted an earlier post where you mention to Ken about convincing yourself it's okay to put on a weekly £5 football bet and do the lottery.
If I got the wrong end of the stick I apologise.
re the Champions League bet I also picked up it maybe for a large amount of money from what you've posted and that you'll be collecting if it comes in. On that basis I came to the conclusion that it's still a gamble. Maybe they could refund the stake if you advise of your gambling addiction? I don't really know how these things work but normally the advice would be to destroy any standing bet.
I really do wish you all the best but none of your discussion points today would indicate you want to become a better person with your priority remaining self protection/preservation.
Apologies for being so straight but it's the only way I know how.
Hi ALN
that was a hypothetical example - is it okay? some people say it is, some people are dead against it. I have no account i am able to bet on, thankfully.
The CL bet is a large bet yes, £600 on a correct score. In me head i have already lost it so i may as well let it run on the account considering thats now blocked too and i cannot deposit or do anything.
I 100% do want to become a better person, and i have stopped gambling.
appreciate the honesty, and perhaps some posts have come across wrong, but short of telling my partner(explained this already) i am willing to do whatever it takes to beat this!
“Bet 365 have said i need pending bets to be settled to self exclude.”
this is simply not the case. You can self exclude with b****5 with bets pending & they allow access to your account to withdraw funds.
K2,
I can only go on what i am being told? they will probably make it as awkward as possible for me to self exclude so i am sticking to what they have said, and will wait until Sunday to close the account as i have been instructed. Its a matter of hours away, and i cannot use the account anyway as they have blocked it for reasons mentioned prior to this.
I am sorry, but do not see it as a priority when the account is stagnant anyway.
3 accounts was enough for me, i guess 1 is equally as bad as 100 though right? unsure if you are belittling my measly 3 accounts there in comparison, or perhaps its just come across that way.
Apologies.
what I meant that if you close those 3 and don’t use say GAMSTOP to exclude across the board, there are simply dozens of more accounts you can open.
you have a large bet pending & you are likely to have the gambling mindset until that’s run it’s course.
Anyway I wish you well for the future.
to be honest the large bet is irrelevant to me as i don't actually care what happens with that - if it wins then great, the hole i am in becomes slightly less deep, if it doesn't then i am exactly where i stand now. This was from 15 days ago so its not like i have had 'one final bet' before closing an account.
Thank you for the well wishes, i wish you well too and look forward to seeing you hit your 1 year gamble free - what a milestone!
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