2014 Challenge

Good morning everyone - **Warning - it’s a long update this week!!! Cuppa required!! **

So here we are - a new month, one third through the year, 75 people have come through the challenge and 31 remain with us, with others still clean and having moved on to fight their own fights. There’s a couple of changes to the update today, specifically in relation to a new section - “Spotlight on……..”, which is the answers to five questions from 2 of our recovering colleagues that give some great insights, hints and tips into how people who are a fair way into their journey started and are continuing to be free from gambling. The other change is around our “count” by way of the value of our collective monies saved against the gambling industry. Both will become clear as you read through the update!

Here are the headlines for this week……….

30 soldiers started last week and of the original 30, 24 of us checked in giving us an 80% week on week retention rate. We had 3 team members return to the fold (welcome back guys!) and there’s 4 new soldiers who have joined us which means our overall team has grown to 31 to enter into the new week. Of the 31 who are now make up the team, our collective days have grown by 2% vs last week and we are carrying an average of 68 days each free from gambling. This challenge is all about stopping gambling and the support we provide each other in doing so………it’s also about our personal and collective team growth. There is a number that grows every week but I never call it out - it’s the number of days that this challenge has supported it’s members in stopping for. I’ve only ever included current members, but from now on I am going to use the consolidated number from everyone that is current and past……..it’s what the challenge has delivered and what we have contributed to that………so……….as a collective, we are now at 10.96 years of having stopped! See further down the update for a change to part of it too! Next week we will have moved over 11 years! Incredible!

New members joining us……….

We’ve had 4 new members join us this week and also a soldier return from battle and ready to do battle once again. Welcome to our new army members……..jess2910, greenunit, Time4Reform and Granite. Granite, I know you’ve had a blip, but there’s nothing stopping you staying with us - continue to post please and we’ll be with you every step of the way. I’ve been taking a nosey at some of your diaries and posts on others pages and I’m so impressed at the way that you have all started your journeys………it’s so easy to become complacent and think you’re OK……..but please keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll make the breakthroughs. Welcome to the team soldiers!

Mo - a specific call out to you again - I’m so so glad you found your way back to us mate - I really am convinced that this is your time - 2 weeks already and it seems as if your resolve has hit new heights - keep going!!

The Monthly Update………..

So it’s month end (I hate month end at work….it’s always mental!)……and here are the headline stats for the group……..

There are 7 of the group who are “Clean in ‘14” and have made it a third of the way through the calendar year without gambling - hardtimes, Bornagain, Babybluesky, Happy Days, Delboy, Scambling and Mr B.

There were lots of the group, who while have being stopped for upward of 50 days, have just come through their first calendar month completely clean……..congratulations to Baggins, Kickitnow, Triangle, ringerbell, delboygolf, Spaingone, FlyingFox, Chirst21, Drew2002 and NoCrisis. This is a really important milestone and the first of many to come!

The total for the group now stands at a total of 53 calendar months completely free of gambling - brilliant going guys!! Next month I’m hoping that we add another 8 of you to the first calendar month completely free - you know who you are!! (Wolfgang, Gladsdad and pinky - you guys were so close…..but it’s gonna come soon!)

The “Spotlight” is on…………..Delboy and AdamPrice

So a new feature of the update is to learn a bit more about each other, to understand some motivations and methods that support recovery and to celebrate each other’s journey. Two guys have stepped up to the plate for the “trial” of this and I’d be interested in the group’s feedback as to whether we make this a regular feature, replacing the awards section? So, I’ll hand over to Del and Adam to take us through their spotlight……………….

1. Tell us a couple of things about you?

AdamPrice - “My names Adam, Im 29 and have 3 children and a very supportive partner who I probably don't deserve! :)”

DelBoy - “My call sign is Del79 and I feel the need the need to succeed J I am a 34 year old proud Glaswegian, married to the most wonderful soul on this planet. Sadly we have no kids but still practising and will hopefully be blessed with a wee addition soon.”

2. When did you realise you had a problem with gambling?

Adam Price - “The time that sticks in my head the most was a couple of days before Christmas. I was out on my own shopping for presents and had about 300 on me in cash, I decided to pop in to the bookies for a quick 20 on the machine, I walked out approx 20 minutes later with nothing. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach.

That year I spent very little on presents for my family, which really hurt and I still haven't forgiven myself for it.”

DelBoy - “I started gambling seriously from the age of 18 only on fruit machines in the pub. I knew within weeks of turning 18 I had a problem.... How did I know this? Well I had spent the inheritance money my grandparents had left me within 2 months of being 18, don’t get me wrong it wasn’t thousands but that’s not the point - it was money they had worked hard for and despite having financial struggles at times themselves they never dipped into this pot because “it’s for the kids”. How selfish was I?? As the years went by my want for more than a 15/25/35/200 jackpot grew..... how can I win more? Hello Mr Bookie, how are you today? Wow, it was a magical place to start with, watching punters stake high and win big yet I was blind to the pain behind the majority of these high rollers eyes..... they were chasing!!!!......something which I had yet to experience on such a higher level. This was my home for many years... a lonely place... and dearer than the crown plaza!! Thousands staked and thousands lost, credit cards coming out my ears.... I hit breaking point as my addiction had cost me past relationships but this fuelled me to continue down a path of certain destruction. Finally I confessed all to my parents the depths of my addiction and the financial mess I was in. Obviously they were disappointed but as always very supportive and helped me out of a massive hole.

This continued to be the pattern for many years stopping, starting, up and down I felt like a f*****g yoyo!!!

Finally on the 12th August 2013 I decided that gambling had no place in my life anymore, it almost destroyed the one thing I have ever truly loved and was making me ill. My past is what it is can never be changed but my future is up for grabs so every day since the 12th August 2103 my choice has been simple.”

3. What have you been doing to fill the time since stopping gambling?

AdamPrice - “Spending a lot more time with my family, using the extra money I now have to treat the kids to days out etc. I have also bought myself a PS4 and am now addicted to that! :)”

DelBoy - “At first I used Gamcare to replace gambling, I was on it morning noon and night - this was a great help and slowly through time I found myself logging on less and less. But I’m always keeping a focus being part of a challenge because let’s face it we all want to win!!!........ and instead of winning money on a horse bet we are winning a better life by betting on ourselves.”

4. What has been the most important thing you've done to help you stop gambling?

AdamPrice - “The thing that helped me the most at the start was telling my partner about my addiction, she was very upset / angry at the time but really has been a huge help in my recovery. I have also handed over my finances to my partner which again has been a huge help.

I also regularly visit this forum which Helps to remind me why I am doing this. Last but not least, joining the 2014 challenge, it is great to be part of a team who all want to achieve the same goal and an excellent motivator.”

DelBoy - “I have never set foot in a bookmaker since 12th August 2013 and never will again. I have read so many stories on GC and tried to research this addiction. Some say it is a disease some say it is behavioural I feel it is important to make your own mind up and this will help your recovery.

I also have belief in myself and know I have the strength to overcome any problems in my life without the need or want to hide underneath the gambling blanket.”

5. What is the best advice you have been given?

AdamPrice - “The thing that I remember the most is something that JamesP said to me when starting my journey:

"you have to come to terms with the fact that all forms of gambling are all part of the same path that only robs you of your money, and more importantly, your precious time which you could be using to make those that you love proud of you, instead of ashamed."

My family are the most important thing in the world to me and there's no way I'm letting them down again.”

Delboy - “This is a second chance embrace all the help you can get, what’s done is done if you don’t accept that then there is a high chance of a relapse.”

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I was blown away when I got the answers through from the guys and can’t thank them enough for their honesty. Some brilliant messages in there and equally some emotion that I think we can all relate to at certain levels. I’m hoping for a guest to join us next week to be in the spotlight, but if we think this is a worthwhile addition to the update then I’d ask for one volunteer from the group who is under 50 days to post their willingness and then email me with the answers…..same questions as Del and Adam!

On to the Milestones Celebrated in the Last Week…………

Hardtimes, Babybluesky and HappyDays all broke through the 20 week mark!! Amazing going folks!!

AdamPrice joined the Century Club on Friday and moves past 100 days - it’s fitting the spotlight was on you this week Adam!! Adam is the 8th member of the current members to be in the Century Club!

Newhorizon71 hits the 10 week mark today - congratulations NH!!

Triangle, NoCrisis and Ringerbell have all safely reached 50 days of being free from gambling and are half way to the Century Club - great going folks, you must be feeling the difference now!! Pride is growing!! We’re certainly bursting with pride for you!!

Milestones for the Group this Coming Week……….

Tuesday 6th May - Scambling will move onto 150 days clean and Bornagain will hit 20 weeks clean! Spaingone reaches 50 days as well and hits the half century! Big day for you guys!

Wednesday 7th May - it’s my 150 day clean milestone!

Friday 9th May - hardtimes and Babybluesky will celebrate 150 days free from gambling, while delboygolf reaches the half century - a brilliant way to start the weekend for you all!

Sunday 11th May - HappyDays also moves onto 150 days while Baggins reaches the 10 week mark! Superb going for two of our key posters on the thread!!

Here is the Roll of Honour for this week………..

Name Clean Days

Hardtimes 145

babybluesky 145

bornagain 138

Happy Days 143

lostafortune 58

Mr Brightside 147

Delboy79 265

Hitthefan 92

luckygirl 5

newhorizon71 70

Baggins 63

Kickitnow 60

triangle 52

Scambling 148

NoCrisis 51

Chirst21 38

ringerbell 52

delboygolf 45

AdamPrice 102

Spaingone 48

davey 7

FlyingFox1 58

Drew2002 35

Gladsdad 29

Pinky333 28

Wolfgang 33

Mo 14

jess2910 8

greenunit 8

Granite 0

Time4reform 8

So the other slight change to the update this week is around our total clean days (as mentioned in the headlines) but also in the average cash we’ve saved. I’ve scoured a lot of diaries this week of current members and as far as possible re-calibrated how much we were roughly losing on a daily basis. I think 100 a day was a bit on the high side as an average, so I’m going to take 50 per day as the new amount. The new calculation used on a week to week basis will be 50 x the total number of clean days for everyone who has been on the challenge since it began. This will show growth every week and give us renewed vigour to step forward and not back……..so here we go……..

Drum roll………total days free of gambling is……….

4001 Days = 200,050 in our pockets………………..0 in the bookies!!!

Congratulations to everyone in the group for achieving this………..the number feels even more real now!! It’s incredible to think of that amount of money…….but even more incredible to think about the amount of time it would have taken to spend it………….and that it is now being spent doing productive and more wholesome things!!

Well that’s it for this week…………very well done if you’ve got to this stage of the update without falling asleep - lol!! I keep saying that I’ll reduce the size of the update……..but fail miserably!! This is too special a thing we have going here everyone to not celebrate it, talk about it and keep it going!

Have a great Sunday, an even better Bank Holiday if you’re lucky enough to be off………..and a fabulous week being free from gambling. Be good to yourself, be proud of yourself and be proud of your team!

Check in for this coming week is open!!

Mr Brightside

Thank you Mr B for the amazing update and for all your incredible efforts in leading this group.

I think I probably speak for all of us in saying that your weekly messages and summaries are like beacons of light. Well done to you on your milestone and to all fellow-soldiers. :o)

Just a quick word for Bornagain as I can't seem to find your diary - regrets for past mistakes can be useful as a reminder of 'the bad old days' to which we never want to return, but carrying regrets round with you just gives you an extra burden when trying to deal with other issues in your life.

Take that sack off your back and leave it somewhere - you may know where it is, but it won't be a dead weight on your shoulders to hinder your journey. We are all here for you.

Joanna

Totally agree with Joanna on thanking Mr B on continuing to provide an excellent forum page. The effort and time you put in to helping others is amazing.

Well done Mr B and to all other people on here for making our recoveries less painful.

Mike

Sorry late check in all is good my friends, day 36 for me

Brilliant King - thanks! That's you checked in for this week now! Congratulations on April being your first full calendar month free from gambling! Really well done.

Thanks for the kind words too Jo and Mike!

Mr Brightside

Hi everyone,

Checking in on day 33.

Wow Mr. Brightside this update is amazing and very apriciated 🙂

I haven't got much time recently to be more often on the gamecare side but I don't leave a post everyday, so I still flick everyday through a few diaries to keep myself focused on what's my destiny.

Everything seems to go okay the moment apart from little totally normal ups and downs. Gambling is no question and definitely no answer to anything.

I will stay focused on my mission and hope you all will to.

You are all a big positive influence to my life thank you to you all for this and have a nice bank holiday weekend and an gamble free week.

Love and Respect

Wolfgang

Well done everyone

Checking in on day 52 gamble free

Sadly controlling my limits, playing around with my problem/habit/addiction doesn't work

Total abstinence is the only way for me

thanks everyone

triangle (recovery on lots of sides)

Sorry for the late check-in! I'm here!

I was at a birthday party yesterday, doing the hostess bit.. totally forgot to get on here, haven't really sat down since (which is probably a good thing)

I'm 74 days clean today, think it's 74, February being shorter threw me out a bit!

Generally OK, get pangs to have a small flutter, saw some of the ladies I went to the races with yesterday and was praying they didn't mention it, which they didn't.

But on the whole the urges are diminishing. I accept they will probably never fully go away.

Hi everyone,

many thanks for the response to little mid week blip. got some strategies in place now to fight against any more slip ups. The word complacency crops up time and time again here, and it hits the nail on the head for me. Complacency dragged me back into this hole after five years of freedom from gambling, and Complacency dragged me back in last week. It's not getting me again. Day 4 checking in. Stay strong everyone and have a great week. Granite

Fantastic update Mr B, I echo the thanks for your weekly dose of inspiration.

I entered a bit of a recovery danger zone yesterday on receipt of my first 'normal' bank statement since my relapse. This should be the start of a new life not hiding the bank's letters but I know from bitter experience that financial normality is often the precursor to a splurge. I'm hoping that bring part of this team will give me the extra boost to stay clean. If only I could work out how to make the pro gambling voices in my head shut up!

Wishing everyone a good, gamble free week.

Cheers to Mr B

You are a shining star in what can be a very dark sky.

I hope all out there appreciate the effort and motivation that is put into the 2014 challenge..

I am pretty sure that there would be a lot more soldiers falling by the wayside without his superb positive input.

Temptation is always out there..it's up to us to kick it in the face

To all the soldiers have a great gamble fee week - keep well - stay strong

Best of luck

Glads dad @ 29 days a very happy bloke 🙂

Many thanks for the lovely comments folks - appreciated, but not required though - I just do my bit as part of this team - you guys keep doing your job and you'll make mine easy!

A couple of things for members of the team......

Granite - it's brilliant that you got right back on the horse - there's never a time where you can let complacency in. Get your guards as high as possible and keep tucked well behind them!

King and TBON - welcome home soldiers!! Good you are both safe and sound.......back with the troops!!

NoCrisis - I read an amazing post somewhere on the forum but sadly can't remember who wrote it. Basically it was a metaphor about the gambling voices in your head........or in other words, how loud gambling music was playing. When the writer was at a low ebb, vulnerable, bored etc. he would hear the gambling music really loudly and would want to go off and do what we used to do. However, the thing that drowns the sound of the gambling music out was his life music. He realised that he had to keep his life music playing loudly enough to keep the the gambling noise dulled in the background. The really clever part about the whole piece was that he recognised that throughout the rest of his life, the gambling music was always going to be there......at for example level 3.......he just had to find ways and means of ensuring that his life music stayed louder than this. Keep your life music loud soldier!!!

GladsDad - one of the things that make this challenge worth the effort is to hear fellow cg's saying that they have been free from gambling for xx days.......but even more so that they are 'a very happy bloke' - that's hugely powerful.......and your life music must be loud!! Keep going!!

Check ins updated on the front page shortly.......have a great week all.

Mr B - checking in on Day 147 (pretty apt with the snooker on just now........but it won't be my maximum - lol!!!!)

Evening all thanks mr b great update. Delboy and adamprice thank you both for sharing your story.

Working forgot about the bank holiday.

Day 92 today and 99 on Sunday. Life music loud .

Hey Gang,

Just checking in on day 35. Things have been going along quite nicely, no urges whatsoever.

Really glad the football season is coming to an end... In saying that, that means the world cup is coming along soon, which will be a serious test for a few of us im sure. Just got to keep focussed, read a lot of posts, keep the safeguards in place and continue working with each other.

Oh, Mr B I know exactly what post you are referring to about the volume levels. It's on a guy called KRS's (Kyle's) recovery diary (It's on page 12 and called "The final Chapter" or something like that - He actually had another diary on that page too)...

It's honestly out of this world what he posts, he only wrote a few messages on his 'Final Chapter' diary (they are long but). His metaphors (volume levels among others are so good). His diary's had a huge effect on my stopping - more than anyone else's and I urge you to read them as it helped me to no end. Think the guy was a writer if i remember correctly, they're brilliant!

Good luck my friends,

Drew

Checking in on day 45! feeling great and positive with life, keep up the good work guys.

Steve