2014 Challenge

checking in day 73 wtithout a bet

staying positive and strong

saturday was my day of gambling but now just a day to have a lovely /quality time with my kids

away of gambling make me more calmer

I didnt know what happiness meant ,even now I am not sure what it is but I am sure soon or later I will found tht

take care folks and be strong

Well done on getting through day two Mike, the early days were a struggle for me, but joining here helped get me through it. I slipped up a in my first few days, but then found this challenge and was inspired and helped to beat this.

I have had my holiday request accepted so watch out Glasgow!

Hope everybody has a great weekend and enjoys the weather. Mine wont be so good as I'm working, but following my hard few weeks, I am now picking myself up and feeling 100 times better.

Hi just got to 42 days

I never thought I'd get here - thank you so much for your help and support - I would have never got here without the help from you guys

Keep strong , focused and keep posting

Glads dad

Just checking in for my first week in the 2014 challenge. Onto day 6 now, which has been the hardest I must say as it's the first saturday I haven't had a bet since god knows when!!!

Anyway, I'm feeling better for getting through it. Staying positive.

Big Man.

Checking in day 3

Hope every1's ok

Evening everyone,

Great to see some soldiers checking in and BigMan, delighted for you mate, really well done - Saturday's have always been my most difficult day.

There's been a problem with the Gamcare site today - I updated the front page earlier and put on a post, then Batman and Lostafortune also posted, but nothing actually came through. I'm assuming Batman and LAF are still going strong so will accept the check in from these soldiers, but if anyone else posted between roughly 11am and 3 pm this afternoon, I need to know!!

Have a great Saturday night troops!

Mr Brightside

Evening. Today is the first day of my latest recovery. I hope that it goes better than my previous ones. Things have got pretty bad before - I've had the same issues many have on here of gambling to excess and hurting those I love the most. I can gamble sensibly for months on end and then the inevitable breakdown comes and I have a blowout.

Now is the time to change. My girlfriend is due to give birth in the next week and after letting her down again I know that is now or never. I haven't gone more than a week without gambling in the last ten years. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. One day free from gambling.

74 days clean, keeping myself busy....have a good week everyone!

Hi all, what a super day weatherwise, if only every day was like this one would have too much to do and never think about gambling, gardening, cycling, walking in the fresh air, socialising, the sun drives those endorphins so high! Anyway gambling has been so far from my thoughts today, so let's hope its a long hot summer! Enjoy Sunday! Checked in.

Hi Guys,

Checking in on day 48 from sunny Venlo Netherlands if my counting is right.

Have lost track of the counting to be honest.

But I'm strong and foreword in not gambling.

I'm here in Venlo not for hollydays but for working and is long hard days very tiering but good.

Next Thursday I fly home to see Lou for a long weekend and after then 3 weeks working nonstop 14 hours shifts I'm really looking foreword to it.

On the 28/5 we getting the internet connected here in Venlo till then I have to relay on wifi hotspots or use the 3G what's very expensive.

That's why I'm not on that often but I feel good and hope you all doing well.

Have you all a gamble free and happy week

"Never look back the future is now :)"

With love and respect

Wolfgang

Hey Wolfgang!!

I was wondering where you were soldier!! I'm just on the verge of finalising the numbers so I'll sneak you in for this week!! I had a conversation this morning with "The Accountant" (my mum!) about you.......we were both in agreement that the Louwolf would be hunting you down for not checking in! Thankfully we know you are safe!!

Hope Venlo treats you well and don't work too hard!

Mr B

Good morning everyone!

So I will be handing over to my partner in crime bornagain later on today and then powering down the laptop for a couple of weeks! Holiday to look forward to, leaving on Wednesday and away for a fortnight. Just don’t any of you be thinking that you’re rid of me for that time though……there will be random postings being made, and of course check-ins from foreign shores (kickitnow has managed it from the US and China in the last month, so I can sure as heck manage it from Kos!).

In the update this week we’ll have all the regular features, plus the “Spotlight” this week is on one of the forums most respected and appreciated member in the one and only JamesP - like our guest Spotlight duncanmac’s contribution last week, this isn’t to be missed!

The Headlines for this Week

Despite a few missing soldiers this week, we are still showing growth in the team and in our main group measures. We had 36 soldiers come into this week and have had 31 checked in (although with the issues on the site yesterday morning, more may have checked in but I simply can’t see it!! Apologies if this applies to you!). This gives us an 86% retention for the week - not as high as last week, but still a great result for the group given what we are battling with! We have had 2 members rejoin the group (welcome back guys!) and 4 new soldiers join us (official welcome below!), giving us a team 37 strong going into the week. Each of us are carrying an average number of days clean from gambling of just over 10 weeks. A really impressive stat for this week is that our current platoon of 36 have been collectively stopped gambling for just over 7 years - a number we have been trying to hit for a good number of weeks. Since the Challenge began and including the clean days of everyone that have taken part at various stages, we are now up to 12.4 years of abstinence and our total number of days has increased by 6% in the last week. Pretty amazing reading eh? That’s you that has delivered that! Be proud soldiers.

Our new soldiers for this week………

We’ve had 4 new members come and join us in battle this week. Please extend a really warm welcome to Julio, Mikesaf, Shortie777 and BigMan17. Julio has added a great number of days to the group, while the rest of the guys are fairly early on their journey - although have hit or are on the verge of hitting their first week of being clean. Many thanks for coming and joining us guys and congratulations on your early stages of recovery. The big ask is that you stick with this, you really commit to your own recovery but also of the wider recovery of the group - it’s a tough journey for all of us, but as a team we are collectively stronger. Hoping you’re with us for the long haul!

Also welcome back to Shorty8 and Strange - great to have you with us again guys - we need you!

The Spotlight is on…………………JamesP!

I’m delighted that JamesP agreed to guest on the forum this week and has gone under the Spotlight this week to share some of his insights to support the group and provoke some thinking in us all. Many thanks for taking the time JamesP - much appreciated! Here is the Spotlight……….

1. Tell us a couple of things about you?

My name is James (JamesP on the Forum). I am 39, and live just outside London

2. When did you realise you had a problem with gambling?

I remember walking miles upon miles, going without food and bus money to school, purely to visit this grotty fish and chip shop which had an old, battered (no pun intended) fruit machine that was 2p play, 1.50 jackpot. It wasn’t so much the effort I made, it was losing and knowing that I didn’t have any more money to play it, and then facing a long, hungry walk home.

In later life, it was when I began to risk everything - food money, rent money, travel to work money; I remember sitting in my flat, on the verge of eviction - I had called into work sick because I couldn’t afford to get there, I had no gas/electric or food, and I was literally waiting for the bailiffs to arrive that afternoon to take everything I had. They didn’t come, so I spent the rest of the day scouring the streets for coppers, hoping that I would find enough to buy some out of date bread rolls to get me through the next two days. It wouldn’t have taken a lot of money to make most of that better, but I lost it all, and I couldn’t stop myself - that was when it really hit home.

3. What have you been doing to fill the time since stopping gambling?

Everything! I have been gambling since my early teens, and the prospect of a gamble-free life in my thirties was not only intimidating, but quite frightening; you forget how you ever existed before; the value of money is long-forgotten; stress, debt, anxiety, emotional upset and haunting, constant worry is part of everyday life. But when you stop, you begin to appreciate the simple things in life again which were no more than a hindrance when you were gambling - a long walk, a good book, seeing friends all become much more relaxed and pleasurable than you ever thought possible.

It did leave significant gaps in my life, so I vowed to fill my time constructively - now I do charity work, I sing, I write, go hiking, travel, climb and so much more. A great book, which I would recommend to anyone, is “Yes Man” by Danny Wallace - a true story about a Man who decided to say “Yes” to everything, and it changed his life. People ask me, “How do you cope with all the debt and bad memories?” I tell them that I turn those negatives into positives as best I can - I climbed a mountain very recently; it was some way out of my league and was going to turn it down, but then I thought about those memories, and I thought about all the other things that gambling had made me miss out on, so I agreed and had a fantastic experience that will stay with me forever; I live for experiences now, I live for genuine highs that add to my life, not take away.

4. What has been the most important thing you've done to help you stop gambling?

This is a very important one for me. I joined this Forum over seven years ago - I started contributing a great deal because I don’t believe in a “one-size fits all” approach to giving up gambling; everyone is different, we all come here from different backgrounds and at different points in our lives, as well as having different levels of coping.

But there was one thing that stood out for me in those early days - most people here are emotionally vulnerable; there are so many who turn to gambling because of increased life pressures, or because of times in their lives when things have affected them personally. I am the same, I am a sensitive soul and I do take things to heart; a bad day at work or something awful happening would always relentlessly push me towards gambling. Since stopping, I have recognized an enormous need to have space, time and room to breathe mentally; if I am going through a tough time, I take myself off, somewhere remote, just a random stop on a bus or train, for a few hours or even a few days if necessary - all I do is walk and think; it is hugely liberating to do so, and to escape the surroundings which have driven you to that place, even for a short time. I would recommend it to anyone, I really would.

I went through the worst year of my life when I was giving up gambling - I lost three people very close to me, one of who was only in their 20’s; I thought I was being “tested”, because there were times when every fibre of my being wanted an escape from what I was going through. But stopping made me find other things that helped me through those times, as well as discovering the need to get away and “heal”, mentally. Gambling only creates a temporary diversion from your everyday existence; when the lights go off and the money runs out, you often have a whole new set of problems to add to the ones you had before.

5. What is the best advice you have been given?

I think, very simply, that urges are temporary; they are - they feel like the worst thing in the world at the time; you feel like you are being turned inside out and the world will end if you don’t have that bet/spin. But how long does that urge truly last? Ten minutes? An hour? Several hours? Possibly a day at worst? If you learn to “ride the storm”, they lessen, and you gain a lot of strength by getting through each one.

I received another piece of advice when I had given up for several years - someone at GA said to me that “The person who has given up gambling the longest, is the one who woke earliest this morning” - I like that a lot, I really do; it keeps you grounded, and reminds you that, even after five gamble-free years, you can’t let your guard down or become complacent. It also reinforces my opinion that I am no better or worse than anyone on this Forum - we are all here with a common goal, and that is all that matters.

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Some absolute nuggets in there for us all and many thanks again James. We have already found our guest “Spotlighter” for next week and comes in the form of “Molehole”. Molehole has arrested his gambling for 5 years now and his words make for superb reading - definitely some provocations for everyone in what he says. I think it’s just as important that we have one of our own group in the Spotlight each week as well - please volunteer via your post if you’d be up for it. Maybe one of our team who are celebrating a milestone this week could oblige? If there’s no takers then I might give it a bash from my sun lounger!! On the subject of milestones………..

Milestones Celebrated in the past Week………..

bornagain broke through 150 days during the week!! Congratulations to the new host of the Challenge thread for the next couple of weeks - maybe you should Spotlight yourself Big Philla!!

Hitthefan has joined the ranks of the Century Club!! What an amazing milestone HTF - really well done and hopefully you’re now really feeling the benefits of being clean - if you’d be up for the Spotlight then I think your journey is one we’d all love to hear about!!

Batman is going through the spate of milestones at the moment and in advance of his 100 day milestone coming up this week, he has just celebrated being clean for a quarter of a year!! Well done superhero!!

Lostafortune, Kickitnow and Julio have all made it into double figures of weeks clean - a great milestone to get through for you all - next stop is a quarter of a year…….and then the Century Club!! Well done troops!

Shorty8 - I missed your 50 days last Sunday, but wanted to call this out in celebration!! Welcome back and congrats on hitting the half century soldier!!

Had they checked in, FlyingFox and King would have celebrated milestones this week too - 10 weeks and 50 days respectively. C’mon soldiers - fingers out and check in!

Milestones that will be celebrated this week………….lots of them!!

Monday 19th May - Delboy will hit 40 weeks and move another step closer to the first ever full year that one of the group will be free of gambling! Can’t wait for the night out Del - will be a big celebration!! Drew2002 will hit the half century tomorrow - brilliant going Drew and looking forward to celebrating this with you soldier!

Wednesday 21st May - Wolfgang hits the half century as he moves onto 50 days. I hope the Netherlands are ready for the party in Venlo!! Well done Wolfgang - you, Lou and all the group are proud of you soldier!

Thursday 22nd May - triangle and ringerbell both break into double digits of weeks clean as they move onto the 10 week mark!! Doesn’t seem like yesterday you guys joined us and look where you are now!! Great going guys!! It’s amazing looking at your diaries and posts to see how far you have come!!

Friday 23rd May - ToBeOrNot moves onto 91 days………or 13 weeks……….or exactly a quarter of a year free from gambling!! I always find this a really big milestone!! Congrats TBON!! Less than a fortnight away from the Century Club!!

Saturday 24th May - Batman becomes the latest member of the Century Club - the bookies of Gotham City are considering their future! Brilliant going Batman - at a personal level this is a day I am very much looking forward to - I’m very very proud of you soldier - always have been and always will!

Sunday 25th May - Gladsdad makes it onto 50 days and by the time the next update comes around will be celebrating the half century!! What a result Gladsdad - really delighted for you - thanks for your brilliant contribution to this group too!!

Here’s the Roll of Honour for this week…….

Name Days Clean

Hardtimes 159

babybluesky 159

bornagain 152

Happy Days 157

lostafortune 72

Mr Brightside 161

rst18 13

Delboy79 279

Hitthefan 106

luckygirl 31

Baggins 77

ToBeOrNot 86

triangle 66

Scambling 162

Kickitnow 74

NoCrisis 4

ringerbell 66

delboygolf 59

AdamPrice 116

Spaingone 62

Drew2002 49

Gladsdad 43

Batman 94

Pinky333 42

Wolfgang 47

Mo 28

jess2910 21

Granite 5

Time4Reform 22

Dot83 21

help2604 12

Strange 9

Shorty8 57

julio 74

Mikesaf 4

Shortie777 6

BigMan17 7

Drum roll………total days free of gambling since the Challenge began……….

4542 Days = 227,150 in our pockets………………..0 in the bookies!!!

With a great week, we could hit the quarter million this week!!

Final reflections………..

Just reflecting on the week that has gone and considering the weeks ahead……….there’s been a couple of blips in the week, but the strength and resilience of the soldiers who had the courage to come back and start again is just incredible. I’m not sure that would have happened without the challenge and without the commitment these soldiers had. We’ve got some big weeks ahead, with a quarter of a million saved vs the gambling industry within our *** and the potential for us to move onto a group in excess of 40 members. My hope would be that by the time I get back from holiday and pick up the gauntlet for updates, we have hit these group milestones. There’s some big sporting events coming up - Championship Playoffs, French Open, Wimbledon and of course the small matter of a wee tournament in Brazil!! All of these bring risk for individuals within the group, so do we all have the necessary barriers in place? Really think about it.

So, check in is open for this week………….and the baton is passed to bornagain for the next 2 weeks. A huge ask of mine is that you all support him, check in early and allow me back!! Be safe soldiers, keep your guards up, remember your commitment to this group………and I’ll be back updating 3 weeks today!!

I am Mr Brightside. I am a compulsive gambler. I’ve come out of my cage and I am doing just fine…….I’m not going to be down……..because I have it all. Checking in for this week Phil!!!

Thanks for the update Mr B and have a great holiday. I think I stand for everyone here saying you thoroughly deserve it for helping so many of us stay on the straight and narrow.

Early check in for me on day 14. Exams this week so hoping enough distractions, although need to be aware on Thursday once I'm done there is no sudden urge to go back online due to suddenly having more free time available.

I think JamesP words are excellent and I might spend more time outdoors to help combat any urges.

Another great update Mr B, enjoy your holiday, you deserve 2 weeks relaxation in the sun. I will try my best to follow Mr B's format this next two weeks and keep everybody happy. If I miss anything out or forget anything then I apologise. Hopefully we will all still be here in two weeks time enjoying the sun and increasing our days free of a bet.

This place stopped me from gambling after 17 years and countless failed attempts. Its an inspiring place and I hope we can all stick it out for the rest of the year as life without the horrible lows that gambling brings is so much better than our old lives.

Thank you for the kind words Mr.B they are very appreciated and you are right the Louwolf would hunting me down what ever it takes. She keep asking me nearly every day "have you been gambling?" What I really don't mind and I'm kind of proud to answer with all honesty "no I haven't"

Will try to be more often in the forum when we get the Internet working on the 28/5 till then I wish you all the very best and don't forget guys "stayed focus the weakness is always there and is just waiting for the chance to get you"

Good gamble free week to you all with love and respect

Wolfgang