Hello all,
I would like to please ask for suggestions and ideas for a particular issue I've often pondered, and fundamentally struggled with (hence my request here).
We all know that stopping our gambling is great...in some ways. In other ways, there are also problems and a very big one is what activity to replace gambling with in our (suddenly spare) time?
I personally feel this is a huge issue - and it appears implicit to many posts of people who stop gambling, even some who have stopped for a long time, yet still do not feel happy with their daily lives.
So, a key question is 'what activity would you suggest' that gives some similar aspects, to those aspects we used to get from gambling - for example: interesting, challenging, giving purpose, excitement, reason to get out of bed in the morning basically...
I'd be really interested what people suggest - whether they actually do these things or not, and why they would make a suggestion for daily activity examples of their choice. (Small note, it should really be something that is realistic in a relatively normal day - not sure I could manage to bungee jump on a normal weekday for instance!) ?
Cheers for any thoughts, and let's hope we can help one another too as a collaborative set of suggestions!
John.
Swimming is a good one. Set some goals like coast to coast 80 miles and slowly chip away at it in the pool. Half a mile or a mile or two every time you go. Great for your mind,, body and soul ?♂️
@winterishere Thanks for the suggestion - I'm a terrible swimmer, but maybe should try! ?
I've just realised I should really add my only one I've found so far - and that is playing Chess (I play online). It does give me some of the kind of interest and excitement I used to get from gambling, and certainly a challenge. But, I'm almost addicted to playing chess now instead, as that's about all I've managed to find that captures me during the day!
why do u look for smth what " gives some similar aspects, to those aspects we used to get from gambling "?
It's a good question and I can see some merit in your suggestion about avoiding that. But, I think that fundamentally I (and maybe many others) still want some experiences that were related to those we had in gambling - being stimulated by life and activity, excited and challenged, achieving, interested, and fundamentally pleasures or desires of some kind.
I go to the gym and walk a lot. If you can keep as busy as possible. I go to bed early each night now and my sleeping habits in the last year i havd not gambled have improved a great deal. I am so tired now after my day i fall asleep quickly
Hi
I would recommend to try and go on a walk daily, helping me and It’s good to get endorphins going, I get what you mean but trying to keep busy is crucial,paint by numbers,puzzles crosswords,I wish you well.
steve
Thanks guys - I can see a central idea of exercise as something key in the ideas so far.
Hi JohnMac,
I started taking my 2 grandsons to school every morning ( maybe you're not a dad or grandad ). This enabled my son & daughter in law to get to work on time without worry. Just being honest I hated it at first. Thoughts of the painful withdrawal symptoms, still pondering the odds on offer & half believing maybe I made a massive mistake excluding for 5 years & handing finances over to my OH.
I never had paternal feelings whilst I gambled ( 48 years ) it made me solitary, secluded & immune to what really matters in life, I really was a J****E to it. It took time to get the c**P out of my head but eventually as the mist cleared my grandsons voices no longer became a distraction but an interest. What they've been doing at school, who their best friend was & what story book they were reading.
My daughter has 2 retrievers ( dog & b***h ) and when they had a litter they gave me a pup ( His name's Barney ). They're labour intensive, attention seeking & need to be exercised at least twice a day. I'd time Barneys exercise time till after lunch when horse racing started. I also joined the library. Whilst gambling none of these things appealed to me. I had to learn to live, learn to love & understand what was important in life.
Recovery isn't just about not gambling it really is a form of re-education where one has to persevere, try and embrace a new way of life. Keep an open mind, what once took great effort has brought me so much pleasure & joy. Now when I wake in the morning I don't want to scream & shout o*g what did I do yesterday. I was a terrible parent but even if I say so myself I'm learning to be not a bad grandad. We're probably a different age group but let me assure you no matter what age you are the longer you turn your back on gambling the better life becomes.
Good Luck In Your Recovery
AL
@slowlearner Thanks for the issues you have discovered - yes, I agree that family areas of duties can be a good motivator for sure. I also have some regrets during periods of parenting, though I haven't (quite) yet got to the stage of having any grandkids. That might well be something for me to look forward to being involved in eventually!
Love the dog idea too - they certainly do have a good effect on your mental health. Sadly I'm rather allergic, as is my wife, so we can't keep one in our home. But other people's pets with outdoor contact is a good idea, I agree.
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