I had not gambled for a year until 2 weeks ago. And then started chasing wins after I initially won a bit. Told my other half today and she is livid. Understandable. She is the one that helped me and supported me over the last year to remain clean and I now feel I have abused that trust and very possibly put our relationship at huge risk. We click on every level and it's one thing I never want to loose. I feel like poo right now, for a diplomatic way to put it.
Tim
You have been honest about your relapse which will now get you back on track. Please feel free to call one of our Advisers should you need any extra support on 0800 8020 133.
Keep going Tim1b you did it before and you can do this again with the support of your Forum friends. Be very careful of complacency - Recovery is a continuous Journey - one day at a time.
Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Hi Tim, I had a relapse also after a 6 months of abstinence. It’s very upsetting but you have done it before and you can do it again. I’m 23 days clean again now and the difference is I am using all the blocks. Here if you need to talk
It's a horrible feeling Tim, especially the longer you have gone without it. I broke a year of avoidance last summer and couldn't believe it. It really is like we are on autopilot when around gambling. But start again with it, with everything fully blocked. I felt awful over Xmas but now heading for 2 months away from it again, if your other-half understood and accepted the addiction was there first time I'm sure part of her will have conceded that relapses aren't impossible and are part of the process for many.
Hi Tim, well done for taking the time to post here about this, a very positive step.
A year gamble-free is a wonderful, amazingly superb achievement. What you have to do is recoginize how and why things fell down for that moment, why did you slip? What triggered you into doing so? You need to analyze that very deeply and ensure that you find a way to prevent it happening again.
Ask yourself two things: 1) What happens to you, your life and relationship if this happens again? You are at a precipice it seems and another mistake might mean the end of everything you hold dear; it seems she might be able to handle this in time, but would she again? 2) What if you had a huge win? Would you stop? Would you be able to spend that on something nice for the family? Of course not my friend, all it would do is make you crave more of the sensation that got you there which will lead to you losing it at higher stakes than before. Winning is far more dangerous than losing; at least with losing, you might stop at some point or be forced to stop.
Look at other posts here where people have gone too far and lost everything. The wife is gone, they have stolen, the bailiffs are coming round.......at the moment, you have a chance to keep everything you hold dear. Nothing is worth taking that next step down a very dark path where you might not be able to turn around again.
Well done again on the year. Aim for five years this time my friend. Be strong, be positive, examine how and why you started again and put things in place to stop it happening again.
Thanks all for the positive comments and advice. Me and the other half have decide to come up with individual plans for prevention and then somehow meld them together. Looking at some of the comments I do believe this is the last time she will give me a chance and the hard work has already started by having to regain trust. Blocks have been put in place and I have worked out the last trigger. So with that knowledge I can remedy it so it won't happen again. I did the CBT course last year and I'm now revisiting every chapter to freshen it up. I think I should do it 3 monthly to keep it all fresh in my mind. Just some of the little things which all together should allow me to reap big rewards that being gamble free can provide!!
You are doing all you can Tim, have to remember that. Relapses can give vital hints as to areas maybe not yet covered off as you have found too.
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