Evening all.
Just thought I’d share my story, have flicked through here a few times over the last few weeks always wondering if I’d have a problem, it’s taken me 11 long painful years to realise that I do.
It all started back as a student at 18, I never really was interested in the pub fruit machines/ dogs/ horses etc but one day tagged along with a friend (who loves a punt) who stuck £10 in a FOBT and in seconds turned it into £100. I was in awe - how was this possible? Why wasn’t everyone doing it? It’s easy money. Could I win? I stuck in a tenner too and won £20. As a young student I was euphoric... then it domino’d...
Over the last 11 years I have spent the vast majority of my precious free time stressing over gambling. I’ve had big 5 figure wins and felt like I was untouchable and powerful, and losses leaving me crying into my hands and snapping at those around me because I’m so angry at my stupidity and inability to control myself. My downfalls are FOBTs and online live roulette, I know it’s stupid and you can’t beat the system but I can’t control myself. I hate it, I feel repulsed and angry at my pathetic behaviour. I work in a well paid job, have a nice car, beautiful home and loving girlfriend and choose to spend my precious time and money watching a roulette ball spin around a wheel.
I wanted to share my story because I’m sure I’m not the only one. Any advice, thoughts or input about how to ease off and stop are appreciated. Self excluding from bookies is a no go - I travel nationally regularly and as we all know, they’re never far away.
Davescott wrote:
I’m so angry at my stupidity and inability to control myself. My downfalls are FOBTs and online live roulette.
Self excluding from bookies is a no go - I travel nationally regularly and as we all know, they’re never far away.
I'd echo ALN's post. Do you want to stop or ease off ?
if you are waiting for your own rock bottom, there is a world of misery for you and your partner to come over the next 10 years.
Self excluding is a no go ?
Just how serious are you about stopping ?
Start with GAMSTOP to cut access to on line.
Then the multi exclusion self exclusion operator scheme for bookies.
Then stop taking your cards out with you, or if you really have to take one with your due to work, make it a credit card & disable access to cash withdrawals.
Tell your partner - and give her control of finances.
Get to a gamblers anonymous meeting.
HI Dave,
The other posters are dead right, you are posting here because deep down you know you have a problem. The problem is the addiction has us gripped and does not let go without a fight. For most of us here it means hitting rock bottom, it is not nice but then we have run out of road and have no where left to turn. When we are honest with ourselves and others we realise there is a better future for us if we work hard at our recovery.
If you really want to stop I advice coming clean to your partner and go to your nearest GA meeting to get support from fellow compulsive gamblers. I have spent the past 20 years working for sod all as I have wasted so much time and money gambling, its only the last year that I have begun to change. I hope you tackle this now before it really gets out of hand.
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