When being in the zone becomes pointless

Agree with everything you say.

I'm 11 and half weeks gamble free for 12 long years I gambled daily and never had a significant win in all that time. It took to 12 weeks ago to decide enough was enough. Joined the site. Installed gamban and registered with gamstop for 5year. When I came to putting blocks on my banking I seen I could see my spending which was categorised. There is black and white staring me back in the face was reality. The reality I had spent 30k plus in 12 months during 2020. It was now April and I was already close to 8k for 2021. I could not let this happen again, it knocked me sick to the core. How I allowed it to happen, all that money for very little returns. They won't be seeing any more of my money thats for sure

Good for you. Keep strategies in place now. The brain kind of forgets the bad parts after a while and the truth will be distorted because the behaviour has been built in and we all make decisions based on past experiences so we must remind ourselves from time to time why we are here and why we have put gamblocks etc in place.

Make a ritual to remind yourself a year from now. Take the family t a victory dinner or light a candle or something. Rituals are more important than you know. Make your own ritual to celebrate this victory.

It is when we are well we have a tendency to fall off the wagon because we forget that we were sick.

Best

C

Yes The Zone....The drug! It didnt take me long to hit the zone but the truth was the craving was in my bones. It was impossible for me to set limits but I used that mental excuse time and time again before starting. I was very soon stupified, zoned out and in a semi conscious trance. The truth all along was my body and mind INTENDED FOR THAT TO HAPPEN so it could get its drug fix and soup of chemicals flowing

I dont like losing money...any money.... so why was I in the world of slots.

I am at heart careful with money and enjoy spending it on well chosen things.The addiction laughed at all that and took complete control over me

weeks with no electricity fishing old food out of a bin was not even enough to bring me to my senses. Thousands of pounds chucked away was not enough to bring me to my senses. The addiction was overwhelming even though I told myself never again through gritted teeth.

As soon as I had money again the thought that I could just be sensible and get a little bit back took over. A shopping trip was soon abandoned as I headed to a gambling den....oh I was clever in that moment...NOT! Just a tenner and my mind had an idea of the returns I was looking for.

My head was full of lucky clover and confused thoughts distacting me from the truth that I craved the act of gambling whatever the outcome.

I was hurt jaded empty and lonely. The gambling was also to punish myself for feeling a failure in so many ways...an act of self flagellation.

I craved bonus symbols on a screen...I deserved it!...I should be lucky!...the world owed me luck....give me my bonus symbols!. I will get five of them on all reels.....make me feel special and give me the hit! Yeah gonna happen within the first comfort figure I had in my head.Ive given it thousands...it cant take much more from me!

Dont anybody look at me though and keep away...this is my time....my special time to escape from anxiety and depression

I would never have told the bank what I was doing which is why I never went online. It was my secret.....my nasty little secret which adds to the soup of drugs flowing round the blood stream. The bank must have known something was wrong with large chunks of cash withdrawn up to my limit on a desperate and regular basis.

Look at the chunk of cash in my pocket....my my those notes look crisp and new.... must be a fresh batch...I feel flush again with cash in my pocket. I feel on top of the world for a fleeting moment

They slide into that slot very easily but im not worried....this is my day...it owes me...it cant go bad every time...it just cant...ive given it enough time for the RTP to reset and be right...loads of people must have been in feeding it up...look at those other mugs...I will play on clever stakes and take the money .

I refused to understand the odds....I never understood the odds. The bright lights and expectation saw to that...This was my favourite game...I had chosen well...I knew it...I could read the signs so why worry! it was the only game and the other punters didnt know how to choose...what do they know...mugs...this is my day!

THIS IS THE SORT OF NONSENSE THAT GOES THROUGH AN ADDICTED GAMBLERS HEAD. The nonsense that empties bank accounts and maximises credit cards in no time at all.

I was ill...extremely ill. I had been doing it for 40 years but the newer style of machines made my losses exponential. I was a drug addict for it with an empty soul. It makes me shudder who I was up to 2015 but knowing the power of the addiction I am never complacent about its power ever again as long as I live

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

I will just say that was the best post I have read from you Joydivider

Best

C

Wow wow that is all so so true. Instead of the stupid slogan they have on the tv this post should be put on the screen with time to read it properly. It's powerful and it's heartwrenching and as a recovering compulsive gambler I can feel the pain of what is written. The good thing is for me now is that I use that painful feeling when I get an urge or a bad thought and it sends my mind running for the hills ! This works for me I  think about the raw self loathing feeling of once again losing big and I'm soon able to distract myself. In fact if when I get an urge if I read this post again that would work. Keep going joydivider, maybe someone reading this post will not relapse how good would that be....

Joydivider, brilliant post.  Struck a chord with me on so many levels.

J

Really resonate great post

Relatable on so many levels and your journey is inspiring @joydivider - Thanks for sharing