10 days and counting!

Posted by: Jadiebby85

43 days free of gambling! I’m so happy to write that! I feel really positive at the moment, me and my husband are starting to accept what’s happened in the past and it feels like he believes me when I tell him I love him! My home is happy again and I feel completely different to the other times I’ve tried to quit! I’ve actually taken steps to change instead of lying to people around me or myself! I’ve accepted that I had a gambling addiction from the very 1st time i ever gambled online! I’m nearly finished on the game change course (which I would recommend anyone who is trying to quit to do!) The calls I get weekly with the counsellor have really helped me, I’m not normally the type to talk to people about my problems because I don’t want to get emotional so I clam up and stop talking completely but I have realised that is not helping me and that I have to get things off my chest so I can move forward. Things are looking a lot brighter now! My mindset is different, I’m talking to friends again and not isolating myself because of gambling.

I know it’s hard to stop and you really have to work hard to make it happen but I would like to say to anyone who is trying to quit and finding it difficult to keep trying and never give up! You can do it and your life will be so much better! This is my 3rd attempt at quitting and I intend to make it my last but I’ll never stop reminding myself just how bad things got so I never ever feel as low as I did when I was gambling! 
best wishes 

jadie x

Great job, well done. Keep it up

Well done Jade, that’s great work. It sounds like you have a clear head away with enough time away from gambling and now you can embrace life and look at the opportunities it holds. Pleased to hear things are improving at home, that is really positive. 

Keep it up and take one day at a time. 

Lively

Hi jade. Really well done keep it going. You can do this

It's very inspiring to see how by doing the right things anyone can change in personality in the space of 5 weeks or so into such a positive and determined person. You should be proud of yourself and please keep going forwards!

Thank you for your kind words, I feel so much more positive ?

Great job... Well done.

Well done. Every day is a victory.

I have just done 11 days and starting to feel that this time,. I can do it. I am doing the 1:1 telephone support too and that weekly call really helps. I had mine today and was crying because it was tough but it helped. I went back to why I began to gamble out of control in the first place. It really isn't easy and you cannot do it alone and you have to want to do it. That's sometimes the hard part. Letting go of it. But there was life before gambling and there is life after it.

I am proud of you and so glad things are beginning to look up. Keep going girl. We've got this. 

Great to hear well done, I’m not as far but by reading this from people like your self it really motivates me to continue 

Hi just an update, I have not gambled for 51 days I’m really proud of myself! Today is the 4th anniversary of my crazy, beautiful Granma passing away and she’s giving me strength today to keep going! By this I mean she loved a little dicky bird (robins were her favourite) so when I see a little Robin I always think of her! I’ve had some robins visiting my garden but hadn’t seen them for a week or so. This morning I get up and go to make tea and in my garden is 3 beautiful robins! I burst into tears, I look up and thank her because I know she knew I needed it! I miss her terribly and she was taken too soon, and very suddenly! I could feel her with me and it made me feel so happy! I knew today would be tough in general not because of gambling but I can feel a bit easier knowing she is with me! 
Take care jadie x

Hi jadie. That's a beautiful post and I tell you inspiring for me too. How awesome 51days you should be proud of yourself and I know your granma would be too. Enjoy your success and keep going you can keep gamble free.

Well done!

Regs,

C

Posted by: Jadiebby85

Hi just an update, I have not gambled for 51 days I’m really proud of myself! Today is the 4th anniversary of my crazy, beautiful Granma passing away and she’s giving me strength today to keep going! By this I mean she loved a little dicky bird (robins were her favourite) so when I see a little Robin I always think of her! I’ve had some robins visiting my garden but hadn’t seen them for a week or so. This morning I get up and go to make tea and in my garden is 3 beautiful robins! I burst into tears, I look up and thank her because I know she knew I needed it! I miss her terribly and she was taken too soon, and very suddenly! I could feel her with me and it made me feel so happy! I knew today would be tough in general not because of gambling but I can feel a bit easier knowing she is with me! 
Take care jadie x

Well done, keep it up!

I have felt really positive throughout my journey of being gamble free until today! I don’t really know what is up with me today but I feel like me and my husband are taking 1 step forward and 10 steps back! I feel like I have done everything I can do to change, I’ve put the blocks in place, I’ve been honest about finances & i am really trying to not tell lies or anything because I know that’s what he was most upset about when he found out I was gambling! I know it is going to be me who has to work hard and show him but he isn’t the easiest person to live with! He’s quite up and down with his daily moods & if we argue he thinks I should forget it if he does! Doesn’t matter what’s been said or how upset I am, the kids find it easier to tell little white lies about where they’ve been or what they have been doing (I know what they are doing because they know I won’t question them continuously until they don’t know what they are saying & they tell me) he sees the worst in everything all the time and there’s no grey just black and white with him! Today he’s told me he will never believe a word that I say because my son stayed at his cousins instead of his grans and I didn’t see the message my mum had sent till this morning, so it’s me who is lying and making the kids tell lies etc, Monday my son had bought home a box of chocolates as he’d stayed at my dads for the previous week, when my husband came home he asked where the chocs were from & I said our son bought them, when he asked why I told I didn’t ask just said thanks, and he’s goes slamming and banging up the stairs telling me I must know why he bought them & if it doesn’t make sense then it isn’t true! I feel like he’s stayed exactly the same as ever and I’ve made the changes and stopped the gambling but the more he’s like this the more I think what is the point? I feel like I’m never going to live this down & then he cannot understand why I don’t look for a job because I doubt myself all the time and he’s made me feel like a stupid, lying, worthless person & I know deep down I’m not but it’s hard to keep seeing that when it’s all you’re ever told! Sorry rant over just needed to get it off my chest! Xx

o*g jadie  I think we share the same husband !! I can totally relate to I would say 90% of what you just said. My husband's moods change within seconds and prior to him finding out my gambling we could go 2-3 days with him ranting or just grunting replies. And since him finding out....... He's gone back to working and spending time on the road he's home tomorrow night and I'll spend all day tomorrow worrying that the house looks ok etc......I know he resents going back to work repaying what I have gambled. I can't work. When he's home and all during lockdown when he wasn't working he goes to bed 6-6.30 and he gets up about3-3.30 in the morning. He walks our dogs before 5am. It has been and continues to be a very difficult lonely marriage. I'm talking about all this stuff with the counsellor. Started off playing online for fun for the chat. Sorry if it sounds like I'm blaming him but what I've described was a trigger for me . So now I have no access to money gambling sites blocked which I'm glad about because I really don't want that horrible sick gut  wrenching feeling ever again. But I'm struggling a bit with where i go with my life my son is 15 and we have a close relationship but I'm not going to be that mother who clings I want him  to be happy find his way in life. So....... Stay strong jadie I'm always here for a chat or listen to your rant ( lol your words)

Hi Jadey

I rarely write here but I am always reading the posts. I recently left my partner who’s a gambler but I do hope we can get back together . I just wanted to say, I always look out for your posts and find you really inspiring. I know you’re having a down day but I wanted to say don’t be too hard on yourself you’ve done so well!! 
Im sorry about your partner is there anyone else you can talk to?