2021 MY AMBLE TOWARDS THE NOT GAMBLE

Had a good day at work, managed to get a lot done and my shoulder was fine.... Looking forward to the spurs game on Sunday and looking forward to the weekend.

End of first week back at work, glad to be back and getting lots of exercise on my shoulder.  Also looking forward to getting back in the gym when my shoulders better and gyms open again.  

Diet has pretty much gone out the window compared to how i was doing in December.  Got to get back to it and be strict on myself for a bit.  Been clocking up plenty of walking at work measured my walking distance on thursday and friday and done 3.5k and 3k at work so that adds up the exercise im doing.  Then on saturday i went for a coffee and walked 5.2k so that was good.  All in all just got to treat myself maybe at the weekends and be strict on myself during the week.  So today i had a maoam sweet and small bar of chocolate but just lunch and dinner no breakfast.  Then weighed myself and im 12 stone 13 just under 13 stone again.  Weight hasn't moved since late december but ive been treating myself and atleast it hasnt gone back to 13.6.

People on chat often ask who misses gambling, well of course we miss the adrenaline, the buzz, the game, the highs and the entertainment.  But we often forget when thinking of this about the lows.... We teach ourselves, train ourselves to forget the pain and suffering and stress that we get from gambling..... The last time when i was in full swing of poker i started as allways to go to bookies slot machines and fruit machines in social clubs.  Now probably ten times in life ive gone to these machines and visited the cash machines untill i couldnt take out any more money.... Then had that terrible walk home and the regret for the next few weeks or month untill you forget the pain and start again.  Now i wouldnt wish this stress on anyone and i try soo hard to remember it when i think about gambling again.... If i can remember the pain and stress i can remember not to start the gambling cycle.

Now i thought ive only just started this diary, but already its 6o entries long and it shows that ive already come quite far since i started it.  

I often think quite deeply about life and what im doing, living at home with folks, but all in all everything is going pretty well.  Im saving well and have stopped all my vices..... so long may this run continue..  over and out all the best adamxxx

You really have come a long way and are doing well adam x

Lou

Been back at work two weeks now, really enjoying it more than the weekends to be fair.  Mainly because u cant see people during the weekends.  

Walked 23k so far this week so 4k a day which is great.  Diet isnt going too well i weighed myself earlier and i was 12.13 so not gone done but not gone up so not all bad.

Things are looking up

Weighed myself and down to 12.12 so ill take that 1 pound reduction as a step in the right direction.  Talked to my parents about diet and what i can do to improve.  Looked into difference between eating bread or rice or pasta for lunches and it actually lookis like bread is lowest in calories which is suprising, i allways eat whole meal.  So i may take soup to work with a sandwich or bananna or something healthy, just got to take something i enjoy but is healthy and not too calorific.  Just no more snacks if possible.

Had the Oxford vaccine yesturday which is good however woke up today with huge headache and achy all over..... 

Hoping I'll be better tomo.

All is well on the vices front.

All is well just got to remain positive.

Hope you feel better soon Adam.

Been feeling pretty down, so went to be 830pm last night, then woke up 1pm, feel rested.  Then ate some cherios for lunch and watched Chelsea.  Then weighed myself and was like woop woop I'm 12 stone 9 pounds..... Really happy if I can keep to that weight for a couple of weeks... 

Hi adam,

I am glad your feeling better today, its okay to have bad days..as you have been doing so well recently.  Well done on the weight loss 

Lou x

cheers lou xxx

Just done my covid test, negative, good.

Ill watch spurs tomo night and thursday, lets hope we can beat liverpool and keep tittle hopes alive.

Finances getting better and better..... literally not spent a penny this month!!!!!  Even got one refund from december so minus spending.

My weight loss goal and health goal going well.

Just got to keep up with exercises to get arm better then can start gym again in summer

Three days later, here i am, just read a new post from a regular user for some 13 years,  hes struggled like i did and hasnt yet managed to find the right way to stop, paydayloans, ups downs ups downs downs downs, etc i feel really sorry for him.  

I found out today that ill be on furlough one day a week for the next six weeks.  Looking forward to tuesdays off work.

Hopefully spurs can get a good result against liverpool tomo, heres hoping for a good game.

Does this work?

ok cool my last message deleted itself?, 

So another four days on, another four days gamble free, my consistency is proving beneficial in this quest of a life without vices namely gambling.

This week coming up is a busy one, i've got day on furlought tuesday, then day on my own at work on wednesday so will be very busy, then thursday fourth i have a hepititous b jab at work, then friday im meeting my shoulder consultant in the morning then work, then the weekend , then monday my monthly injection then finally on tuesday a physio telephone call.  Busy busy.......

At work this week my operations manager (who is my bosses boss and does my reviews) announced she was going to work in head office.  It seems one by one all of the managers are retiring or being made redundant.  So far Outpatients manager, physio manager, Finance manager, Supplies Manager, Director, MRi manager, Xray Manager have all moved on or retired meaning everyone has to step up.  My manager said it wouldn't change anything for us.....

Ive been getting a bit lonely and depressed lately either that or really happy nothing inbetween......So glad there is still football on tv and netflix to watch it literally keeps me sane.  I do wonder whether all this talk of mental health makes you question youre own or whether it is a lot worse thru this time.  

Ive walked over 2.5k everyday this month and will aim for 3k average over february.

Weigt wise ive stayed the sme this week even tho ive eaten choclate or ice cream most days, been quite lax on my diet so will try to cut down next week to see if i can get down a pound in weight!!!

Plan of action for this year:

Shoulder: Get my shoulder better through keeping up with exercises.

Get back into gym: As soon as ale to thru shoulder exercises and gym opening again.

Get thru lockdown restrictions:  Look after myself and try not to get down about the situation we are all in.

Enjoy Summer: Use holiday days in the summer and get a tan.

Try not to obsess: Nights laying awake and not sleeping are not helpful so try not to overthink too much.

No Vices: Keep in control and don't fall back into any of previous vices.

Healthy body- Healthy mind- Peaceful existence- Happy soul

Hi Adam,

When one's achieved what you have the sky is the limit. Keep going, you certainly help to create my peaceful existence knowing you're doing so well. You are a  happy soul & watching you thrive makes me happy too. Over thinking ?, you can only inspire others by thinking of what's achievable through abstinence & I can think of no better example than you.

Best Wishes Adam

Al