20:22, 02.02.2022

Good luck with everything! Try and set mini targets on a daily weekly basis - things you weren't able to do because of drinking. Try and set bigger targets to aim for long term too. All the best!

Hi,

I'm no expert & don't know where to start. Does drinking make you gamble, or does gambling make you drink Sit down & ask yourself this question & prioritize which addiction effects you most. I've been a CG all my life, was fully aware how much money I was blowing & alcohol was just an anesthetic to try & block out how deep the hole I was digging for myself due to my gambling. I think it's possible one can have one or more addictions & think that one can perhaps facilitate the other. Maybe alcohol is your no 1 addiction, but let let me assure you gambling will not continuously fill your glass.

Best Wishes

AL

Hi, 

it’s difficult to finally except like you that something needs to stop and it seems you have come to that point, one day at a time and begin your recovery journey in a strong positive sense of mind, no doubt addiction damages the way the brain ticks over and I’ve finally realised mine has and I need to retrain it,try and find ways of changing the routine of drinking and gambling,exercise,try and keep as busy as possible,is a good thing I’ve discovered,self exclude from betting shops and put Gambian in place online,you can do it, small steps at a time,GA AA are good starting points,reach out for some help, I wish you well!

steve

YOU can do it!!

Dear friend. My heart truly goes out to you and I sincerely hope you find what you are searching for.

In recent years you have battled bravely to overcome difficulties in your life. You have proven yourself to be a wise and capable man with a practical, inquiring mind and a good work ethic.

You also have a good understanding of addiction and when the fog lifts you will be able to reevaluate your hopes and dreams whilst making plans for the future.

Be firm but gentle. Do not make impossible demands upon yourself and never lose sight of the truth.

Best wishes 

Stephen ?

It's like a mirror that time and date it's a great starting point indeed something easy to remember everytime ...... The time you completely changed your lifestyle 

I too couldn't control my gambling and it wasn't untill I stopped drinking three years ago that I finally managed to stop the gambling.......

So I think it will put u in great stead....

All the best adam

Thanks everyone for your encouraging responses. 

A good question: Does drinking alcohol fuel the gambling?

I certainly think that drinking alcohol makes us carefree, less responsible and more accustomed to risk-taking. But it is also the state of mind which is often the deciding factor. 

I think we all listen to voices in our heads which suggest actions based upon the status at that time. However we must realise that the voices and suggestions come from our own minds and NOT from an external source. Yes, our minds can be influenced by advertising, comments, events etc. but ultimately we can either choose to listen or not. We CAN be the master of our own destiny. We are NOT a helpless being who is forced to do something which is detrimental to our wellbeing and security. 

I have analysed my reasons (triggers) for gambling and drinking alcohol with the following conclusions. 

REASONS FOR GAMBLING:

1. Boredom 

2. Excitement/ buzz

3. Chance to win money 

REASONS FOR DRINKING ALCOHOL:

1. To feel happiness or light-headed 

2. To assist relaxation 

3. When feeling stressed, angry, sad, irritable or tired 

4. Craving the flavour/ thirsty 

I will no longer allow myself to listen to any of these 'reasons'

The following are my counter-argument:

1. Boredom - There are so many things that I could be doing if I put my mind to it; watch a film, play a game, go for a walk, read a book, bake a cake, clean the car, gardening, artwork, listen to music, exercise, phone a friend. 

2. Excitement/ buzz - Alternatively I could watch live sport at a venue, or an action movie, make love, watch a comedy sketch. 

3. To make money - Of course there is the possibility of winning money through gambling, BUT the odds are stacked against us and in the long run we will always lose. Therefore, why not work some overtime, find a better paid job or sell some unwanted goods. 

1. To feel happiness - We all get down at times but self-medicating is NOT the answer. Happiness can be achieved by; taking part in a sporting activity, meeting up with friends or family, nature watching, helping others, meditation. 

2. Relaxation - The key is to rid the mind of negative thoughts and realise that every problem has a solution. Quality sleep is important. 

3. Stress, anger and sadness are all emotions resulting from issues. Therefore we must learn to deal with them positively, rather than react in a defeatist manner. 

4. Taste/ thirst - The urge for alcohol will seem overpowering at times, but in these circumstances we can consider an alternative. Perhaps an iced coffee frapp, a strawberry lemonade, a home-cooked meal or even a bag of sour jelly sweets!

I hope that some of the above info may help others with their own personal challenges as I will continue to monitor, maintain control and focus on keeping my crucial 20:22, 02.02.2022 video as a definitive reminder for my recovery, and as motivation for a better future. 

@changemylife ?? brilliant post,I get what you are saying, keep it going!

@adam123 Thanks Adam. It really helps to know that you have changed your lifestyle, whereby everything improves because of a significant decision to stop doing something destructive. I believe in a better life for everyone. To value one's life is to really live it!

@slowlearner Thanks AL, I appreciate your understanding of the potential pitfalls and triggers related to gambling. Yes, if I'm honest my primary addiction was drinking alcohol and the gambling just another distraction in recent years. But it wasn't always that way. I have been through the turmoil of being in the grip of anguish and despair resulting from gambling. Driving me to do unthinkable things totally out of character, and sometimes scary stuff that would take me to the brink. 

Thankfully, over the past 5 years I've just dabbled with bets, probably amounting to no more than 4K, which by C.G. standards is fairly tame. Also with long periods of abstinence and a reasonable amount of control.

Well, I've just passed the first two small hurdles this weekend. 1st test was watching a live football game on TV without placing a bet. 2nd was going out for a meal in a restaurant without drinking alcohol. Very small steps, but not without temptations. The real test is maintaining that sturdy abstinence over a long period of time, and hopefully, indefinitely. So in 6 months time I want to be able to give myself a pat on the back in the knowledge that I have indeed stuck to my guns. For this is not really about recovery - it's about change. When people talk about recovery it implies that something has happened and they need to get over it and try to return to the way they was. However, I've been gambling and drinking for most of my life so the change that is required is fundamentally drastic.

Had a bit of a cra* day but nothing serious. However normally this would have led to me calling in at the off licence on my way home to get six cans of strong lager, but instead I purchased some midget gems and some rum & raisin flavoured ice cream. And perhaps in a different time and place this may have led me to placing some bets online later in the evening. But gambling cannot and will not get a chance. 

I know it's only been a week without the booze but generally my outlook is brighter. I can now approach things with clarity, instead of living under a dark cloud of defeatist uncertainty. Of course, they'll be many challenges ahead as I battle with the temptations, that will surely rear their ugly heads.

I know that some people will be thinking that it's just a matter of time before I return to my old ways. After all I've tried numerous times to quit the gambling but have never quite succeeded. This time however it really feels different. I believe I can change. And perhaps in the past I kept the vague notion in mind that someday I would win a fortune, to make everything OK, or that I could devise a system of betting that would give me a reliable income of 2K per month,  and that I'd never have to work again.

I no longer believe that a residual income can be achieved through gambling. In fact I know that I have explored every aspect of betting systems, including those never before realised. I have dry-tested these methods to the point where I would have been staking over 16K to win approx 48K, and of course the inevitable happened and I would have lost it all. And besides, I probably wouldn't have had the bottle or means to place the final bet, had it been for real. Because nothing in gambling is ever guaranteed. There's no such thing as a dead-cert. There's no machine that really pays out at 75%. And there's certainly no 'Lady Luck' giving us all the aces. 

Ten days without gambling or alcohol. Whoo whoo!

Although I may have put on a few pounds with the reward sweets. Yes, wine gums have become my new sugar high and TV streaming series, my new compulsion. 

I think it's so important when giving up a destructive habit, such as gambling or drinking to replace it with something else, preferably with a healthy option such as exercise or creative work.

BUT THE TRUTH IS: An addict must really want to give up the activity. It's just no good kidding yourself or trying to fool others. If the activity feels like the most important thing in your life, or it's the only way to experience pleasure, then it is a very sad existence. You must BELIEVE in a better life.

@changemylife 

Well done

I to went from Gambling to other addictions and obsessions TV series soaps and internet. 

The Gambling addiction was a form of escape yet by wasting funds meant for the well being security of my home and my family it was in time a form of self abuse causing more pains and anxiety.

It was a slow process to make healthier choices and give up unhealthy habits for healthy habits.

My motives changed from I saying I have to saying I need or want more healthy things in my life.

Money was never going to buy me happiness heal my pains or make me a healthier person.

Money was just the fuel for my addiction, by taking away the money did no heal my pains.

Yes to move from destructive habits to healthy habits, yet it took time for me to get motivated towards healthier ways.

In time we do start to BELIEVE in a healthier life with out all addictions and obsessions and we start to BELIEVE in a healthier me.

For me my addictions and obsessions were an unhealthy way of living in my fears.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

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