8 days gamble free
Now that first week is complete I'm ready to write my first diary entry.
I'm EL, 39. In February of 2023 we moved into our new home a much better area for our teenage boys. In March I damaged my back and over the next few months lost more and more independence and became disabled. In December 2023 I had back surgery, it didn't work.
I was struggling with having to ask for help all the time to do everyday tasks, and the fact I couldn't work.
I binge ate or didn't eat, I had and still have bad pain flare ups that landed me in hospital again and again. I spent more and more time on my phone, playing games, scrolling, watching Netflix all to distract myself. I had loads of love and support around me but I felt so alone as I was in the house most of the time.
Then in late 2024 I found a community online, they had social media pages where people could all chat and most people had kids with Special needs. They were also a gambling site, I started playing. I enjoyed the community and the free games too.
It became were I was looking all the time and playing everyday. Even if I only had a £1 id put it on cheap games, I didn't pay bills or manage money at all.
This all came to a head 2 weeks ago, when my son opened the door to a bailiff. I was so ashamed, scared, angry and really sad. My husband and I decided to separate, it wasn't just about gambling it's been coming for a while, we are better as friends and parenting the boys together.
I reached out and asked for help, I was honest with my parents who are being so supportive.
Now I'm on the path to learn to be gamble free and a present and happy mum to my boys.
I don't feel like I'm doing it alone as I have my boys, my family and all you lovely lot.
Addiction is giving up everything for one thing.
Recovery is giving up one thing for everything.
Hi El,Â
Â
Thank you for sharing your experience. I can certainly understand why you were hooked to gambling. I used to visit the arcade on daily basis pretty much because I was on my own quite often and was attracted by those specially designed flashing machines.
Â
It is a blessing that both of us have discovered the gambling issues earlier enough and are able to stop before the problems get worse. It is lovely that your family and boys are so supportive to you.
Â
I would suggest try to distract yourselves with new hobbies and keep being busy. I also remembered you have mentioned you have made a new friend. All these will help to distract us from gambling which is what we need to.
Â
I have used the chatrooms, both the afternoon and evening ones quite a lot. For the first several weeks of my recovery very often I also needed to chat with the Gamcare Advisors who are ready to help round the clock. To be able to talk to someone about your concerns in these situations is very important.
Â
I hope after more than a week's gamble free you find the worse feelings and urges start to ease off a bit. I wish you all the best on your recovery and hope see you in the chatrooms soon.Â
Hi El
Thank you so much for your share and I hope it feels good to get it all out from a previous place of isolation. You are doing so so well and it's great to have you on the chatrooms.Â
I think gambling addiction is a disease that has developed itself to be protected. It makes us isolate, see no way out. Then when we get into recovery we have loads of time, some people don't want to know us so there is a pull back there and of course we all think it's financial so debts make the addiction talking to us again. For me, I stare my addiction in it's face and pour water on the fire, every day.Â
Apart from Gamcare are you doing this cold turkey ?Â
Addiction in recovery is a soldering ember. It needs fuel to reignite. If lit, it will burn more of our soul away, more than the previous time. All we have to do is not more petrol on the embers, just not place that first bet, spin, lottery or raffle ticket.Â
Â
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
