3 weeks clean

Hi Ninja

Well done for three weeks. For me those were the hardest and pretty much when I started to work on myself and trying to understand why I gambled and be a better person. I'm also in early recovery at 129 days but I can say it gets easier, not easy but easier.

As you asked, for me it's about planning the week out recovery wise. Going to meetings, watch recovery videos, walking each day, using my time in a much better way and learning. I've had counselling free of charge through Gamcare referral which has been amazing. As I gambled for 44 years I knew I needed all the help I could get. I enjoy my recovery and put a lot into it. It will be a life time of work to wake up each day, do my daily routine and move through the day. I keep a diary

Hey @theninja44, 

Firstly, welcome to the lovely community we have here on GamCare! 

I am a peer support worker, which means I have been through my own personal experience with gambling, and I can relate to and understand a lot of what you have mentioned during my early stages of recovery. 

Looking back, I would typically gamble in the evenings, and I found the best way to work through these urges was through distractions. I would schedule things into the evenings of my week. I tried new hobbies- some I gave up on, some I stuck with. 

Do you have any bans in place? If you don't and would like to know more about these, let me know 😊 

They helped me a lot, knowing I physically could not gamble. It came initially with a lot of regret and frustration, but the longer the time went on, and I pushed through those urges, the easier it became. I won't sugarcoat it; it was very hard at times, but I am so beyond happy I continued to push through the urges, and now I'm just over 4 years gamble-free, and the concept does not appeal to me in any way at all. 

A wonderful way of starting, as it sounds like you'd like to hear how others have gotten through, would be joining some of the chatrooms on here, which are held regularly. From my experience of joining to support and chat, it is such a lovely, supportive virtual environment and a great way of hearing how others are coping in those early stages, or how they coped (if they are a bit further along in recovery).

You've done a fantastic step in deciding 3 weeks ago to stop gambling, that is a huge step which takes a lot of courage. I also just wanted to add how natural it is to still have thoughts of wanting to gamble, but deep down, you know you don't. This should ease, as time goes by and you're able to find some techniques to help when those urges feel overpowering. 

Take care! You've made a fantastic first step, and keep sharing your journey where you feel comfortable. 

Brooke ( Peer Support Worker)

Hi Ninja

BTW I used to love all the Ninja films that were the craze in the early 80s when video first came out and going to the rental shops, nostalgic days

I really resonate with what Brooke was saying. I continue to build up friction between myself and that first bet. I know where that first bet would lead to. I think accountability comes into that friction over time but I recently decided that the first bet would probably be placed physically outside of my moses zone or lottery maybe. With that in mind I put a post it note in the car which says Don't do it. I think and obviously hope that there would be half an hour between urge and action. If I can build as much friction and thought in place to get me past the urge it will give me the best chance.

I've not had any urges, more thoughts and get less of them even now at 129 days. With the thoughts I tend to lay down, use a guided meditation with waves in the background, embrace the thought and let it wave over me until it's gone.

Would love to know what your support network looks like to you Ninja and if you attend any meetings as part of that or if you are working on your mindset ? Everyone's journey is different but I do enjoy hearing how people navigate