8 Months Hard Work - RUINED

Hi Eppy - Sorry you are feeling low, but I think you should remember that you achieved a lot by being free of gambling for eight months.

Not only that, you were able to stop haemorrhaging money and avoided really serious debt. I think sometimes a lapse such as yours can make your resolve to quite gambling even stronger. I also think your idea of getting counselling is very positive.

As for telling your girlfriend, I would say that after five years together she will not abandon you that easily. Perhaps after a few weeks of paying back your debt to your Mum you can broach the subject and show her that you are really serious about this.

Sometimes the fear of something is much worse than the actuality. It would be even better for you if your girlfriend could support you in your recovery.

Whatever you decide, I am sure you will get over this and be much stronger for it.

Best wishes for your journey.

Joanna

Hi take a couple of days and look back you have achieved quite a lot in your 8 months. Thats terrific 8 months without a bet is fantastic. However you must take your relapse as a major wake up call as you are in a dangerous spot you must work just as hard as you did at the beginning. If you can go to your local GA meeting if not post here regularly. You have a choice double up your efforts and build on your 8 months or relax after a couple of days and possibly slip back into your old ways. Onwards and forwards and make tomorrow a gamble free day.

Hi Eppy,

I wouldn't say you have ruined 8 months my friend,

You lapsed and lost some money, but you stopped and got back on the recovery road that's great and I think Joanna is right give it a bit time and pay back your mum and then you might even feeling better in open up to your girlfriend.

I'm sure she won't kick you, yes she probably will be hurt and angry at first ( mine was ) but she will also get over it and maybe she will be able to support you even more.

I do really understand how you feel it wasn't any different when I had my relapse about 9 weeks ago and I will be honest I didn't had the courage to tell my fianc but she found out anyway and somehow I feel stronger than ever before but I know if I'm not staying focused every day it can get me in a week moment.

You can do this mate good luck for you stay strong.

Wolfgang

Hi All,

Thanks for sharing your replies with me. Had a great talk with my mum tonight & she has mentioned the hard work of the previous 8 months. I've also gone back into recieving local counselling.

I'm going to post in my diary daily now as that was a great start to things last time around. I appreciate all your advice still stuck as to, (IF/When/How) I should tell my girlfriend. The fear of losing her fully has struck me this time & it's something I don't want to happen, but I do know 8 months ago when I released everything into the open I felt better in an instance & in the long run she did support me, just not sure this time around she will support me again because of this relapse, but who knows.

Going to try get a good sleep on things, today's been gamble free & tomorrow shall be also. Just a shame I had to be so foolish on Sunday night. Onwards & Upwards.

Hey,

Day 2 - Done

On the gambling side of things, it was rather easy. Apart from my recent blip/urge I've not been bothered about betting. Yer today I thought 1 or 2 times about chasing the money I lost back just so things would be right again at the moment in time, but I never actually contemplated doing it.

For me at the moment after this blip I don't think the gambling is the issue. The deceitfulness of letting my girlfriend who I love more than anything in this world down again, after an ultimatum 8 months ago how do I even explain this? I know I can possibly get away without explain it, but I've never felt so guilty in all my life.

Well not sure what to do, organised some online counselling.. But just got a feeling that is making me sick to my stomach & the root of the problem is of course gambling. So on to day 3, where I hope this feeling gets better & I can have another gamble free day

Ok, So Day 3.

Everything Ruined Again.

Ive Lost All The Money My Mum Gave Me To Cover My Back. Not Sure How To Live With Myself, I Am Feeling So Sucidal. How Am I Suppose To Tell My Mum This? She Will Never Forgive Me, I Will Never Forgive Myself. I Hate This So Much.

So i've got everything out in the open, everybody who needs to know now knows. My family aren't happy, haven't a clue what is going to happen with my girlfriends and all of my friends know too.

The moment when everything finally all comes out does actually make you feel that slightly bit better, dispite knowing that some long term relationships could be ruined.

Ive done what ive done and i can't change that, but i aim to work extremley hard to rectify all of my mistakes.

My counselling will start fully next week, Ill pay my mum back as soon as i possible can, as long as my friend who i owe money too. All that can be done now is hard work and postivity moving forward.

Onwards & Upwards, i start again now.

Wow Eppy, you've been on a bit of a rollercoaster these past few days haven't you, but I'm glad to see that you last post showed that you are positive in your resolve to quit gambling once and for all. Your crisis point on Wednesday seems to have helped in that it brought things into the open at last. Perhaps subconsciously you wanted to force the issue.

The important thing now is to get all the help and support available to keep you on your chosen path. You'll find plenty of support here, and I have a feeling your girlfriend will want to help as well. Repaying your Mum will also be a good incentive - keep a photo of her in your wallet to remind you that you don't want to let her down again. But whatever happens in your relationships, you can be certain that by ridding yourself of this terrible addiction you will be looking towards a better future.

Best wishes,

Joanna

Hi Joanna,

Thanks for the reply. I did feel slightly better once everything was out in the open. I've had big chats with all my family, friends & girlfriend & it seems everyone is willing to give me that last chance and support me again. This time I've got the proper steps in place, counselling & other methods & I just really hope I never let them down again.