Many times I've said, here's where I no longer gamble and I start my journey, well now I mean it, I'm so tired of feeling this way, hating on myself because I know I doing wrong, yet doing it anyway.
I'm sad about the fact I've hurt the people most close to me, and lost their trust.
All that should be important is so unimportant when all I want do spin the money eating wheels.
And after 6 years I'm so fed up of this, I want my life back, I want to be interested In other things, and most importantly I want some self worth, because all I did have was lost with each and ever spin I played.
Today I gambled ... tomorrow I start a new.
Peace and love to all x
I have felt all the things you have said and i’ve believed that is the end… please sign up to gamstop if you haven’t already… that’s the only tool that has actually stopped me recently and saved my friendships and relationships.
Heya sparks thank you for reply, i signed up to gamestop earlier today thinking even if I was tempted the blocks would give me thinking time if that makes sense. Day 1 and I've got to say doing OK so far, I hope you are too on your road to recovery.
Hi
It was important for me to learn understand what my emotional triggers were.
I got to understand my emotional triggers, pains I could not heal, fears I could not face, frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, loneliness, and boredom.
Learn from the past and not live in it any more.
Dave L
Hi good
@gadaveuk hi dave, I think for me I want to gamble when boredom sets in, so I've dug all my old hobbies out of the loft to try and help with that, plus i tend to gamble to just escape reality (as I sure most people here do). my way of life can be frustrating at times, but I think this could be an opportunity to change that too, giving the right frame of mind.
Stay on the path you are on dave I wish you all the best.
Nicola x
Day two done, handed all finances over and put all bank account blocks in place, still not sure how I feel about this, maybe a little childish I guess, at the fact that, I a 42 year old woman cannot be trusted with money, nor do I trust myself in all honesty.
Still I know its the best thing to do, today I focused on, normality, it felt odd to not be sat gambling earlier this evening as that was "my time", instead I created something new, I'm learning to bake, it was quite enjoyable.
One day at a time is all I'm thinking.
Peace n love to all
From nicola ♥
Hi
Boredom was due to me not being motivated in healthy ways.
Procrastiantion was unhealthy for me.
It was important for me to daily write down my needs my wants and my goals.
One thing I needed to watch out for was obsesssions which can also be unhealthy at the expense of me not getting things done.
The wording I used was ( I HAVE TO) did this imply me doing things reluctantly or resentfully.
IN writing down my needs my wants and my goals got me more organized and more focused.
Idle time was not healthy for me.
The question I asked my self at the end of each day was did I get things done, how do I feel about achieving gettings things done.
Often I felt that my actions were not good enough or I was not getting a high enough standard done.
When asked in to the office myy instant reaction was what have I done wrong.
Instant guilty reactions.
That was and is not ehalthy way to live my life.
On completion did I do a good job.
We can reach new goals.
Love peace and healing.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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