a new way of thinking

"I have my boys,health ,home and a job."

You have more than a lot of people, including myself. I have all of the above except for a family of my own. 30 years of gambling put a stop to that.

If I were you, I'd let the dust settle. It's not been that long since you had your relapse and it's great that you are busying yourself into a job. OK, it may not be the best job in the world money-wise but the opportunity to be doing something for yourself and meeting people must be doing you the world of good.

When the dust settles then you will have a better and more settled idea of what you really want to do.

One idea that springs to mind is teaching assistant. You could volunteer to help out in a local primary school to see if that sounds like a job that you would like to do.

GT

TW HLUFC EHC Elizabeth (Full Title)

A dusting down for this TW in latter half of page 2 of diary!,

Now, what i'm reading life is taking a similar route. .... Well away from the gambling...... t/c

Hopefully making Sense exmug

Hi E,

I love that phrase! it so sums it up "sitting in sludge"

I have found in the past, that although it is bad to put things off too long, I make better decisions when I am well in myself. Sounds like it would be good for you to look into how to improve things for yourself, but maybe it won't make your head spin so much when you are back on an even keel?

You said that you should be almost there after these couple of weeks of belt tightening, so why not put it on the shelf, and wait until your shoulders are back down from your ears before you look at future plans? No one makes good decisions when they are stressed and a bit panicky and fed up.

You are doing great, and I do empathise because I think a lot of people are better off on benefits, but do want to work. It keeps you trapped in a vicious cycle, because to be making ends meet you have to work so many hours that you have little energy left to elevate yourself to something better. However I think you are re-grouping, and re-gaining your energies right now - and that is ok.

Hugs,

f x

Thankyou GT,Exmug and Freda.

Exmug-I understand hun thankyou.

Freda-Thankyou for your kind words and what you say makes alot of sense.

In March i will have been back at work for a year,think possibly i rushed back to work without thinking it through i just couldnt stand sitting on my backside doing not much all day,as i've worked all my life.Trouble is as Freda says im in the vicious circle of dead end job but need to work to make ends meet.

Freda is also right i need to back off for a while get myself straight , still struggling with this bug cant seem to shift it,and when im in a good space head and health wise i can sit, look at my options and see what is best for me and the boys.

I know the only way i'm going to get a better job is to go back to school so i think its time to look into those options see what is available.I have a collage at the end of my road.

Have a good weekend peeps.

Stay Strong

E xx

Hi

Thank you for your post. Let's hope it's that extra strong cement that lasts for 100 years.

Good luck with the collage, hope you can find something that suits.

Dusty

Hey E ...just checking in on the night shift to say thank you for dropping in earlier....what a great community we are all part of eh...and in "real" life our paths would probably never cross...I think it's amazing.We are all accepted for who we are not on what we do,look like,have etc etc...

You know i'm pretty "heady" with all this stuff and your right about the shrink time...lol..think i'm doing a crash course ..but need to slow up sometimes and HALT too..

Keep them cubs warm Ms Lioness.....great to know that you have a facility at the end of the road if you want to take up some study at a later date...Freda is right with timing but the seed is planted now and it can grow at its own pace....you'll know when...hugs and bigger hugs ((((((TW))))))...wuffs xx

Wizzy Lizzy TW

Just parking you top of the tree..

Group Huddle.. ((((((((((((((TW))))))))))))))

Have a Goodie...

Exmug

Hi Liz.

Just by chance your diary is the first one I picked to read through. Not through it yet - there's a lot of reading in there and quite a few emotions that slows me down.

I've just made it to your New Years post. Though I'm not cricket fan I'll use the term - it knocked me for six. My keyboard is drenched in tears. I could have been a weird moment since I'm reading in the office, but thankfully it's Sunday and no one is around.

I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and I wish nothing but the best for you.

Cheers,

cooper

Hi E,

Having a college at the end of your road is pretty handy!

Have you managed to get hold of a courses brochure to see what tickles your fancy?

GT

Hello TW HLUFC EHC Elizabeth Roaring with the best.

I'm sometimes known as very slow but thanks to Cooper just read some thing that confirmed my picture of this TW on the opposite side of this key board..

Some thing really good coming your way TW. College a superb idea but remember slowly, slowly, catchee monkey.

Random- Use to work for an old ecentric (sp) contracts manager and he use to always say to his whizzing employee -'' Treat it like a salami and cut it into little segments '' How right he was..

You've got a fine selection of golf balls there and with you thrown into the mix a complete set.

There's an antipodean spirit I never really understood untill recently and its - We're All Equal and can achieve any thing we want. So simple and took me all of 44 years to understand it!!

Thinking now your not far behind me....

TC Exmug

I kept delaying calling the taxi this evening to go to the airport - because I was reading through your diary. But had to go eventually. However, I'm still in the airport despite that fact that I should be landing in Bristol in a few minutes.

Often I'd use a delayed flight as a chance to gamble, but this time I've used the time wisely and have just caught up on you diary.

I was sad when I read about the slip, but very encouraged by the fact that you were posting the very next day. I we could all caught ourselves so quickly then I think we'd all be in a better place.

Stay strong Liz - I'm cheering for you!

Cooper.

Finally i've managed to log on had trouble with my stupid broadband all day.Poo.

Thankyou Rach,Exmug and Cooper.

Quiet day today,LO still not back on form very quiet today which is not like him at all.

Normal day today,no urges or even thoughts of gambling.

Still going through the what do with my life,make a decision then change my mind,so this could take a while :0)

Hope everyone had a good weekend

Stay Strong

E xx

Yo top woman...

A thought here veterinary nurse, kinder garden teacher/helper.

Thought also to share this bit of info -

LIONESS -Weight: 62 kg (135 lb) ; Height: 150 cm (60 in)

Male and female lions live in a large group named a pride with their cubs. With every pride we know that there are a king or kings of the pride, but where would the pride be without resident queens - the female lion - the lioness. The number of lionesses in a pride can be from two to twenty. This number can vary on the availibility of food in the territory. If food is scarse then some females will have to disperse and find another pride.

All females within a pride are usually but mostly related, e.g. sisters, aunts, neices etc. There is no rank hierachy among females and no two are likely to be found together more than half the time. All female residents know one another and when they meet, the lion greeting ceremony (rubbing and low purring) reaffirms their social ties. If a female shows no self assurance to meet and greet, this sends a signal that it doesn't belong in the pride and is treated as an intruder.

Exmug

hey E...thanks for evening pop in ...just dipped a bit but back on up..am now poet as new way to get rants out!...bit dark but hey....I can't play the game hun..am not strong enough or clever enough..always get too emotional and blow the gaff.

Have no idea how that leaves me in life...err alone..in a nursing home! LOL

My fave games Cluedo and Scrabble so I'm pretty stuffed really in this life....always fancied going on one of those murder mystery weekends...but if i include jigsaws i'll be fine when I get old or maybe be a contestant on Countdown. lol xxxx

ps ...are you a leo the lion?

Thankyou Exmug and Rach.

Today i'm having an angry at the world day it owes me and i dont have to do anything for it.

What aload of old boll**cks of course the world dosent owe me s**t but i've done everything i was supposed to do in my life,apart from my mum i've cooked,cleaned,shopped,looked after when ill,raised the kids,worked paid bills etc for other people and there familys and myself for what seems like forever i cant remember the last time some one cooked my dinner,ran me a bath,looked after me when i'm ill,ran around for me.Blah Blah Blah.

Dont know where its come from but today im cross.Dont get me wrong i'm grateful for everything i have but sometimes it hits me that ive had doormat written on my head for to many years.I'm sick of looking after my self i want someone to look after me for a change.

I think i know why........... its another way to escape if someone else is dealing with stuff i dont have to.Not that i want to gamble. Strangely i dont, i'm just cross.

Rant over

Stay Strong

E xx