a new way of thinking

Yay E!

It is good that you are cross about those things - this is your fight coming back : )

You are starting to question the way you have lived your life up to now, and why it does not make you happy. Fuel that anger into determination girl! determination to never be a doormat again! you are 100% in control of this, because people can only treat you like a doormat if you let them. Make these changes and the anger will start to subside, as your needs are getting met - however, fail to make the change, and the anger and resentment will continue to grow. What is worse is, it will be anger toward yourself for continuing to let others walk over you.

I really like this saying, it sums up a healthy attitude to deciding if people who are new in your life, deserve to be there:

Take advantage of me once; shame on you.

Take advantage of me twice; shame on ME.

Hiya Elizabeth,

I get that anger sometimes when I reflect or something triggers me off...but I use it to my full advantage..its my motivator...to make change.

But sometimes it comes out of sheer exhaustion and frustration..remember you have been ill, out working, being mum...in recovery..the bills stress etc. All work and no play? No fun?

I personally get like a pressure cooker when I have been on the work work work treadmill. It's tough being a single working parent. A wee break to yourself might just help?...eg a girly night out.

I know it's easier said than done..but do try and get a bit of me time.

Hope your feeling okay today..big hugs

Love Del x

Thankyou Freda and Delgirl your support means alot.

Bad day today got called out of work to pick LO up coz hes got a temp and and a very upset tummy poor little kid,he dosent wear nappies anymore apart from night time but the poor kid has had to today.My wonderful mum has just gone to get more nappies and disinfectant.

I still dont feel great just cant shift this bug,my god in my life it never rains but pours.

Not so angry today just simmering abit.

Stay Strong

E xx

Hi E

Just hang in there until you ster into calmer waters. Things all happen for a reason and I'm sure it will come to light.

Hoping all turns out better for you in the not too distant future.

Take care

Hi E ..just caught up with your diary ...i know how you feel/felt...been stuck on my own diary ranting too so missed your rant post ....

I know how you feel and the feeling of just wanting to be looked after for a change..Its exhausting being both the man and woman in your own life...and I haven't even got kids and I feel exhausted so it must be a lot harder for you.

It's a shame I don't live closer.My house tends to be the place for folk who just need to be looked after for a bit and where my maternal side comes out..

I spoil my pals who come to me for a rest from the world or to get away from hubbys/children etc ....

We all need that....you deserve it hun..

Hope you feel a bit better soon ....and that life gives you a break soon from keeping all the plates spinning... xx...maybe a girls night is the answer.xxBig Hugs ((((((((E)))))))))

Thankyou Smiler,Rach and Ade.

First time i havent felt shattered after work so hopefully bug starting to shift.

LO seems better today back to the happy little chap i love.Well nearly.lol

Hopefully calmer waters are not far away as it seems like ive ridden the storm for long enough.Some of it my own fault say no more.Although my health seems to be struggling i dont seem to be having the urges or thoughts about gambling,i wont lie there have been the odd "£10 wont hurt"thoughts but thats all it was a thought and then forgotten.

Stay Strong

E xx

Hiya Elizabeth,

I'm with you there .. the one thing I've got right too.. is the kids!! 🙂

The college thing...my friend thinks its a bad idea because of my choice of course...doesn't think counselling would be a good area for me to go into....and after much thought I agree with her.

I will go in the direction as far away from problems as possible lol.....so back to the drawing board 🙂

Hey..really hoping things settle down for you and you get back to 100% health and glad to hear your wee one is better 🙂

Big Hugs

Del x

Thanks Delgirl and Ade.

Normal day today feeling ok another payday to battle through tomorrow but a long day at work as well so should be fine.Rent to pay tomorrow not doing what i did a few weeks ago and putting myself in the s**t again.

Putting a new organised regime in place tonight for the kids bedtimes,homework etc i have let things slip abit lately and everything has got abit chaotic mum is back in charge:0)

Stay Strong

E xx

Hiya Elizabeth

Thanks for the message..hey...I didn't think you came across rude at all 🙂 Far from it xoxo

Snap!..I'm trying to get back to organised regime too with the wee one...it all gets chaotic so easy....especially if I have a couple of under par days....routine goes out the window and catch up seems like forever. I'm sure you know how that is.

Keep me posted on what you decide for college 🙂

Hugs Del xo

Afternoon Mum-in-charge!

Your kids will love having a Mum who knows where the routines and boundaries are.

I just feel for those kids who are suffering from their parents current gambling woes.

And there must be thousands of them... 🙂

But you're not one of them any more.

Have a great weekend.

GT

Thankyou Del,Ade and GT,

Another payday gone another weekend of being skint as Del said on her diary this and next week are my skint weeks so struggle through with not alot but struggle on we do.End of the month as for everyone seems to be my hotspot for gambling thoughts as all my big bills are due.Still fighting.

New regime is working LO getting his kip,eldest getting his homework done which makes him happier to be around although both of them are happy kids and a quiet evening for me.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Stay Strong

E xx

Hiya E....still reading a lot and following your diary as I am a few others.....my days of long posts i think have come to a close as all the pain out...still here in cyberspirit with you..my email always there if you ever want it..wont be offended if not xxxxx (((((TW))))

Hi elizabeth,

I know what you mean about the thoughts around payday and how the gambling demons can try to sneak up on us.

When I get paid I like to think of something really awful in work, like a meeting last week where the guy was so boring I seriously wondered if i could beat him to death with a paper clip, and that reminds of how bloody hard the money was to earn. And to give it to the s**m in those places, is just plain wrong - Both I and the money deserve better than that!

Stay strong - it might not always feel like it but we are moving forward in the right direction

OS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqOqo50LSZ0&sns=em

Thankyou Dotty and OS,

Alls well this morning,its a glorious day in essex so all the windows open LO playing in the garden happy days.

Skint this week so the kids and i will be making biscuits and fairy cakes later so we've got some goodies for the week.

Gambling urges and thoughts dont seem to be rearing their ugly head so often at the mo,its a good sign of things to come.

Stay Strong

E xx