Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

DAY 75.

The storm clouds that have loitered in my brain for the past couple of days have cleared somewhat and today the forecast seems much clearer,I would'nt say I had any want to have a punt quite the opposite,I think I was clouding my brain with gambling and still letting it consume my mind too much by the pursuit to not to have a punt, life is full of so many other issues which I know are all enhanced by my abstaining, I will as smiler said live in harmony with the fact I am and will be a compulsive gambler for life and it again today is my choice to say

NO BET. I dont want to run away from it,I wont but as my gamble free streak continues I will put it to one side,not let it be all consuming as it has been. I hope this is natural recovery it feels like I am putting it to bed,a choice I will continue by living gamble free,knowing I have sufficient tools in my locker and blocks in place is making me feel this strong which I endevour to use in the continued fight.

duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning mate! Worry not Sir. I haven't been gambling - I have been living! I am on a mission to fill our lives with good memories not bad ones. Tick tock tick tock.

Youir last post reminds us that many of us spent such a lot of time gambling that there may be a void left by it's absence. Some people don't know what to do with that time as gambling was perhaps a 'hobbey' time activity. Dealing with that alone could be temptation to indulge. Replacing it with something constructive can be difficult especially when we've knocked our own confidence by making the wrong decisions time and again.

Fortunately, I know you're well on top of this Dunc but a good point made.

Have a great day

day 76. Js good to see that name down the right hand margin. Gives me great pleasure and yet more ammunition in this fight! Gamble free today i am up with the larks, got a 1st birthday of a friends daughter and i am in charge of cakes, which is a pleasure and more chocolate to play with lol! NO BET today enough said. Duncs stepping forward never back.

"...i am in charge of cakes"

Dream job! Enjoy mate

Save me a slice!!!

Is there nothing you can't turn you hand to. Trees, sping onions, now cakes.

No your are a NON GAMBLER , you are sounding like every women's dream man. Lol

Take care

Dusty

Duncan,

sorry about asking about regaining your wife's trust in an earlier post-too personal

I was at a low ebb and needed some help and advice.

sorry again,

gazza

Gazza

Dont ever be afraid to ask questions if I can answer fella I will with total honesty.

Regarding trust I think you have to earn it and I hope to by each day be re-earning my wifes,my recovery is also hers in so far as it is another journey we share. Honestly right now in my recovery it is as important to trust myself to make the right decisions and things like not carrying cash are things that I will continue to do and if I need to shop i will continue to take reciepts home,I said early in my recovery that I felt like an extra child in the house, I have got out of the nappies so to speak now learning to walk on my own!!

I hope this helps fella.

Duncs compulsive gambler 76days NO BET.

Hey Duncs ....as an ex OH if you ever read my early diary you will see how biiter and venomous I was....you know what? I stay on this site because for me "timing" is key.

From the other halves side here ...My own relationship failed and I carry a lot of guilt about that possibly to similar degrees as you or for different reasons.I feel guilty because I wasnt strong enough..or my love wasn't enough or I wasnt s**y enough or interesting enough to keep my ex close.

For me its less about love....love is easy.....I fall in love daily....

I stay on this site because I want to understand and support...for me its about "timing"....I met the right man at the wrong time.

My resources at the time were limited and I could not sacrifice myself anymore to keep my ex... carry survivors guilt every day...would I die for my beloved?.....No....and thats my problem...

In the final analysis I will save myself....this has always been my downfall in relationships..fact is..I have "some" self esteem.

Sometimes I wish I didn't because it would mean I "keep" people in my life and be in the club..

Hope this makes sense ...

I don't know your recovery journey too much and far be it for me to ever divert you off your path..but all I can say is.....earn trust ....yes....but don't ever beat yourself up for misdeeds don't ever be scapegoated and be fall guy for stuff thats not yours to own...don't ever be the scapegoat of your family because you have had the honesty to come clean.....you are vulnerable here and as far as im concerned you are accepted just as you are.....I am a total 180 turner.........don't ever feel second class..don't ever feel obliged..whatever your past you deserve to be treated well now in your recovery ...Shiney and Tom and and everyone on here is on your side...me too....it could have been anyone of us..my vices are not gambling par se but are equally destructive....I am a spendaholic, a relationship addict,a rageahaolic a potential alcoholic ...

its unconditional Dunc.,....no sides ..I get it....from a different angle but I get it but sadly me and my ex who I loved to bits could never relate on that level as he wasn't ready..I stay because I love seeing others successes even though my own relationship failed ..

keep one step forward xxx

rach. I feel priviledged to have such an insightfull post placed upon my diary, i respect your words and see the emotions and thank you wholeheartedly in helping me step forward:-) duncs compulsive gambler no bet today.

DAY77.

11 weeks ago today I started this journey to regain my life.I got off the front of that train that was heading over the cliff and run to the back and jumped on the train still heads toward that cliff and for the rest of my life I will be aware of this,one punt and my carriage is next over the edge. But today I sit in the buffet carriage enjoying an overpriced coffee and a limp sandwich!! all because I can afford to because today I say NO BET. I know in time that through arresting this addiction that my train will pull into a station and I will swap trains to ride the orient express first class!! it will still be heading toward that cliff but I will continue one day at a time stopping it going over.

Duncs rolling forward(Yes dusty its an egg pun!!lol) 77 days NO BET.

Hi Dunc

Good to see you doing so well mate and even better to see how much you're enjoying your recovery. Its very important to be happy with what you're doing otherwise you have a real resentment. Stay on that train fella and keep moving in the right direction. I'm coming over Thursday night so let me know if there's a lift to grab from the hard. See you soon mate

Keith

Duncs,

Many thanks for your support.

I really do appreciate it.

gazza

DMac,

There is a real positivity about your posts. I love this. I try to act the same way. I am actually enjoying my recovery and from your recent posts I think I recognise this in you. It is as if we know we are doing something great and can't help feeling excited about it.

Tomso.

Hi Duncanmac

Thanks for ur support its great to see so many of us really strong and av the upper hand over this disease at the moment , and if anyones feeling low we all try and help and pick them up it really is amazing how we are all here for each other , long may it continue

Castle2

Hi Duncan,

Thanks for your comments earlier, it really means a lot that you were the first to send me a message. You are actually now the most inspirational person to me on here, so please keep up your recovery, I will draw much strength from you once more on my bounce back.

Looking forward to our posts to one another in the future, I am determined to get back on track.

Wilsy