Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Hi Duncan

Thanks for the post

It's really difficult to come back and admit a relapse but I always took the comfort of your words that the revolving door is always open so I thank you for that

It's such a journey that we are on and again you are right with the lessons that we learn on the way and will help us to keep driving forward

Your still such an inspiration for so many and that's something to be really proud about

Was a real close one with Pompey thought at one point the unimaginable was going to happen but they fought there way out of it

Castle2

Morning Diary

Castle great to see you back fella,yes my beloved Pompey again came close to extinction,not the first time in my life and hopefully the last,the fact that the club my father got into my blood as soon as I could walk is now the biggest community owned club is a huge step to securing a future,next season I hope to contribute to it's upkeep,without doubt we will get youngest a season ticket again and I am thinking long and hard about buying one for myself,my work means I can feature at many games and I know how rewarding watching 'my' team has been.

Funny because I think I share something in common with my beloved football team, I today like them know my place,I like them thought that with someone else's money and little effort I could live in the promised land,the land of endless riches.

for us both it brought rock bottom,the realisation that we have a place on earth,something to behold,something that is of our own making.

We both wanted a champagne lifestyle on lemonade money.

The truth is we were happy with the lemonade,we just had to see it.

From that I take huge spirit,as it does at fratton park today,on average we get 16500 at every home game,not bad for league two.

So super time had with Ma and Ed,supper enjoyed,company enjoyed,the feeling of serenity.

Something No bet will deliver to my life.

A knowledge that gifts great power,power today I fully respect.

Addiction will always be infront of me,that way I can keep watch for it's next move.

Today I am off to work,two long days,hard days toil, to build my resolve and belief.

All because today I made a choice

No bet today

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey Duncs,

Great to see your inspiring posts, your soul shines through and you my friend should be so proud of yourself. Enjoy your life without destruction crossing your path, you and your loved ones are so worth peace and happiness in your lives.

Keep making the right choice and thank you for sharing your wisdom and inspiration with al of us.

Take care and I hope work is not too tirening this weekend.

Upwards and onwards dear soldier - no looking back

Sandra x

thanks dunc for your comment much appreciated , ive just realised that stopping gambling is it seems to me 2 main things , one beating the urge and two accepting that the money losses are gone , as if we are prepared to not gamble again then this says we have accepted that the losses are losses and if thats the case then we are prepared not to try to win them back , because they are losses and accepted losses which then we will not gamble again as those losses by not gambling says we are not trying to win them back because we accept them as a loss and then can move on gamble free , where obviously to carryon gambling would say we have not yet accepted our previous losses , so my point at last you may think lol is , accept our money losses are gone and the bigger chance we have to beating this addiction also the sooner we accept those money losses the sooner we have to beating this addiction , thanks smon , ps sorry for the rammble on your diary possibly should of saved this rammble for my own diary lol

Evening Diary

Thanks for popping by Sandra

Tryer fella glad to see you thinking hard about your own compulsion fella, yes what you went around the houses to write is so true,

Gambling Won,it had me licked,it beat me,I played it's game and lost.

Yes folk could say the odd's are stacked against the compulsive gambler,because any win simply funds the next bet. We all by and large share the same mantra.

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

For me this entails all forms of gambling,whether its scratch cards,lottery,horses,dogs or my nemesis the FOBT I simply cannot walk away, and that comes with a double edged sword

If I gamble and win,I gamble on

If I lose I chase the loss.

So in a nutshell, the only way for me to win is to abstain,abstain from any form of gambling.

Today I made that choice,it was a pleasure to make that choice,I grafted hard,earnt my way,I am forefilled by my own choice,my life enriched,again that choice not to place a punt in any form will have a profound effect on my life.

Recovery is a gift,it is there for the taking,yes it's boring,mundane in some folks eyes,but in my mind if you dig deep the rewards always do and will outweigh the chance of the outcome of a random event you can only forecast the outcome of.

Because that is what gambling is.

Oh and a complete waste of time,

It feels great to be empowered with that knowledge.

For me the only shame is it took twenty years for me to realise.

My name is Duncan McQuilken I am a compulsive gambler no bet today

Stepping forward never back

Hi Duncan,

Thanks for your support on the diary the other night...three or four things pile on each other and just needed some time to lick my wounds and get my chin up again.

Your beloved Portsmouth looked like they had a good old game today, 4-4 looks like one heck of a game. Just watching MOTD now and enjoying the football for the sake of football. No bets needed to make it interesting, this time of the season every game is interesting anyway!

Well done on making the right choice again today, and glad to be stepping forward with you.

Ryan

Morning Diary

Had a good read around the forum this morning before I head off to work, no hound walking as it is tearing it down with rain,going to sneak out so they don't awake my beloved wife by charging up and down the bed to dry themselves!!lol

Sarah works hard all week,truth is she has a 24/7 job she never stops, always puts the needs of the kids and me first, so a nice lay in on a sunday a well deserved treat.

It dawned on me this morning a few regular threads have not been updated in a good while,leaving my mind to ponder the whereabouts of the authors.

I used to post,chase them if you like,fret over their well being, today I know they know where the forum is and if they need therapy it is here, as I wrote on Castles thread the doors of recovery revolve, folk come and go, recovery is bespoke.

Bottom line is my actions only serve to gift my own recovery.

Again the one selfish act I gladly bestow upon my life.

To abstain and maintain.

In equal measure the wheels turn the heartbeat of the forum beats a strong pulse, the folk who gift this place its pulse,today I salute you one and all.

WE DID WIN BECAUSE WE DID STOP.

something to be very proud of.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today

Stepping forward never back

thanks Duncs

have a great day

check in with you soon

triangle

Evening duncs,

It's been a while fella so I thought I'd drop by and say hello. Seems you are doing well........with the "duncs-esque" amazing advice and words of wisdom still showing no signs of stopping. How's the health? I hope that has improved to at least manageable proportions and you're coping with any lifestyle changes you've had to make.

I have to say that my mum is an avid reader of your posts - she keeps me appraised of what's happening with you! Once I'd updated the challenge thread earlier today I was speaking to her on the phone and she said that we had both discussed fairly similar themes in our posts today........and there's a definite them in there!

I do have a favour that I would be incredibly honoured if you would take me up on it. Can you have a look at the update from earlier today of the challenge 2014 thread and possibly make a guest appearance 2 weeks today with your answers to the questions I pose under the "spotlight" heading? I think this could be really powerful for those much earlier in their journeys. If you're up for it then please mail me your response to be used 2 weeks today, 11th May.

Many thanks mate and hope that good lady and the family are doing well.

Take care,

Mr Brightside

Afternoon Diary

Thanks for the kind words Mr Brightside, I have read the 'spotlight' post upon your 2014 thread and will email later this week regarding it,I would be honored to help out, as I wrote on this thread many times I feel I am a custodian of the knowledge of my recovery,I did not make up the words I often write,they are words that have been gifted to me upon the journey of recovery I am travelling.

So day off today,over the weekend I put in a lot of work and was spent when I walked through the door last night,slept like a baby and today got up with the larks,walked the hounds then went about power washing the back garden and the conservatory and the back of the house, I was lent an industrial jet wash by my boss, it has done an amazing job, the patio looks like new and ready to host a good few bbq's this summer. Then went out with my Ma and Ed for a few hours, got some bedding plants to make hanging baskets and then stopped to shop for a load of meat and bits for the freezer,stock up for the weeks ahead.

Off out for some supper tonight as Ma is caravaning locally and is back off to somerset on wednesday morning,so great to enjoy the company,without doubt made better by the fact that gambling is not present in my life,no sneaking about behind anyone's back,no lying,deceiving, begrudging the dinner out as the money would have in my gambling life simply funded my gambling, just living life for the pleasure it gifts.

More money in the form of wages today,facilitated more bills,debt and gifted us the ability to enjoy life,plans being laid for the future, a new bed in the offing,something we will take our time in choosing and rather than looking at the price first it will be great to actually buy what we want to.

To wage a single penny on any form of gambling I am fully aware will would simply close off the possibility of doing any of the above mentioned,because very quickly gambling would become the be all and end all of my life.

Everything would be hinged on the outcome of a random event.

boll##ocks to that.

I really did live my life for a punt,kidded myself I had to do that to exist,that's what compulsive gambling offers up is it not??

To make the addict blinded by gambling,make them believe that without it life is not worth living, well I know there is a different way, a way to end the chasing of pipe dreams,a way to lift the cloud that lived above my head,a way to enjoy life without staking it's future on the outcome of something you don't control.

Funny because all my gambling life I was a control freak,I had to call the shots.

Why???

because simply I wanted to put gambling first.

Writing that has gifted me some wonderful therapy, each day my own life develops,there is so much to enjoy.

All because I made a choice.

My name is Duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today Stepping forward never back.

Hi my friend, I am pleased you are still doing so well and I had to come back just to read some of your inspiring words again.

You are right I have been away and at it and have made much damage but hey it's done now, it is what I try to do moving forward that matters.

Looking forward to staying in touch with you and by the way, we are staying up say we are staying up! 🙂

That's brilliant duncs - really appreciate this fella. There's no rush....I'm going to use 2 of the guys from the thread for the first week and then do a big build up for the star guest!!!

Keep strong duncs - always an inspiration.

Mr B

evening diary

Andy fella I will catch up with your diary tomorrow,Mr brightside, fella I am humbled by your words.

So had a very testing day at work,a job to do that was beyond our call,but we gritted our teeth and did it with a smile, the fella I worked with today is ex forces and takes everything thrown his way with a big smile,truthfully inspiring.

Then went to see my friend at the local fish market on the way home, another top man, he sorted me a whole monkfish tail and a whole Selsey crab, I made crab cakes and some fresh pasta to go with the monk, to treat my Mum and ed and my beloved to a supper that will send them back home tomorrow with I hope more happy memories, so again today recovery delivered a great sense of balance to my life,even got to play multi ball with the hounds,thanks to some bargain tennis balls I bought today,now they are sleeping in a heap on the couch, my bed calls as off to work at silly o'clock in the morning.

I will sleep well tonight.

no broken sleep formulating,just a deep slumber.

All because today I did not waste a single penny on any form of gambling.

Funny I used to start nearly every sentence with the words 'I bet'

Today I can't remember the last time I said it.

That delivers a new mindset,not to partake in the random act with a certain futile outcome.

My name is Duncs I am a compulsive gambler No bet today Stepping forward never back.

positive duncs

keep going lad

mindset and all

triangle

Hi Duncan

Just stopped by to wish you well - always stop here to have an inspiring read even if I don't always post.

Keep those steps forward coming 🙂