After I quit gambling

Hey Merlin, sorry I missed the update - sounds like a pretty awesome goal you have to focus on there!

Well done for posting and I really hope you've managed to stay away from chasing... we both know how that ends!

Day 118

World Cup is teasing me everyday. I am here alone in the room and can't move around like I used to. So it makes sense that I have got urges to bet. When I look back the days I used to gamble, those were the very stressful days, especially when I was losing a lot.

Day 120

Today, I reached four months period of gambling free. The last relapse was a nightmare and gave me all kinds of stress. But still when World Cup comes, I started feeling like betting again. It's crazy that my mind always tries to go back what destroys me.

Anyway, I try to focus not to let any negative thoughts influence me. I try to look forward to the future that things have been sorted out and I will be enjoying my life again.

Day 121

These days I have a lot of urges and I almost forget why I stopped gambling and what gambling did to me. That's how all my relapses started before. I forgot all my lessons learnt about gambling problems and my slective memory about exciting moments when I gambled kicked in. However, I give myself credit because I haven't gambled even though now I have some money and all the time alone in my room when World Cup is going on. I have deleted all the favorited sport news links and I stopped watching World Cup matches either live or highlights. Doing so eliminates my urges to bet.

Day 122

I was in a low mood. I was sitting and ruminating about things I don't have or I have lost and regretting.. feeling upset. On those moments, I really want to gamble. But my common sense kicked in and told myself how low and stressful my life was when I was gambling and I also told myself to appreciate what I have right now becuase what I have now is a lot better than what I had been and who I had been when I was gambling.

Day 125

Another relapse is knocking my door really closely. World Cup. I see and hear people are talking about it everywhere. My instinct started predicting on the games automatically.

Hello merlins

Welcome to the forum. Congratulation on four months away from gambling. I can see from your post that your are sometimes struggling with gambling thoughts. It can help to look at other activities to do. Tthis can occupy your time and keep you focused on something else and distract you from any gambling thoughts. Please see here for more information http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/changing-your-behaviour#.VBwD__ldXww . I hope you find this helpful.

We do have a helpline if you want to talk with an adviser we are open 8am -midnight the contact number is 0808 8020 133.

Keep posting merlins

We are here to support you

Kind Regards

Forum admin

Hi,

I thought I will start by saying I am a Gambling Addict. I have known this for a while but it is really truly hitting home now. Previously when I read stories of other people in serious debt from gambling, I would say to myself that can never be me, I am too intelligent and strong. However alas stronger men than me have failed at controlling this addiction and I am no different. I have quit a few times, 3 months here 2 months here, each time I read and study gambling urges and addiction why it makes me chuck logic to the wind. This force , feels both spiritual and demonic...a siren with sweet music luring you to certain death, yet you go for the bitter sweet ride, perhaps because it helps you forget deeper problems..a never dying foe, that advances as you do, becoming more tricky and menacing each time it is slated.... I could go on but I will stop here’re for now.. but to conclude I am a Gambling addict and I need help.

reading you fight and success is really inspiring.. don’t give in.. we both know it is not worth it. Also nothing last forever .. imagine what would happen if you keep going.

merlins wrote:

Day 125

Another relapse is knocking my door really closely. World Cup. I see and hear people are talking about it everywhere. My instinct started predicting on the games automatically.

Thanks, Admin. I looked into the link.

Hi Gozy. That's the scariest thought 'what if I keep going.' Also it is scary that I have been allowing myself to think betting is okay because a lot of other people are betting on World Cup games.

Enough gh is enough I have friends who can gamble without it beeing an addiction.. but the truth is for people like me and you that is not the case. You cannot just have a small flutter for us it is life or death. All GAmbling ever does is take.. it has taken so much.. don’t let it take anymore. Because you know it will and you will be back at the start in so much pain .. more than you are in now. Stay strong.

merlins wrote:

Thanks, Admin. I looked into the link.

Hi Gozy. That's the scariest thought 'what if I keep going.' Also it is scary that I have been allowing myself to think betting is okay because a lot of other people are betting on World Cup games.

MR3000. Great post. I guess we have to take gambling life or death seriously. I agree on that.

Day 128

I was studying the pattern of the urge that occurs to me. There is a time that rises. If I don't act on it after some time it disappears. My only concern is after last relapse and losing a lot, the feeling was very strong to quit betting, but after some time, I started feeling like to bet again. Regardless of all the urges, I went to see the doctor and he recommended some antidepressant because according to the test result, my depression seems severe. I am glad I was seeking help and taking initiative on my depression situation. I only hope that my depression and the antidepressant are not triggering my gambling urge.

I can’t watch World Cup for fun. When I do, I started betting in my mind and get frustrated when the results turn out my way because I didn’t put a bet on it.

Day 129

I am going to stop using facebook for a while because I see a lot of World Cup news and people's talking about World Cup. It doesn't help me with dealing the urges if I keep seeing and hearing about it. That's one thing. The other thing that triggers the urge is I don't have any other interesting things to do. Then, my boredom steaks in and makes me gamble. So I need to reshape my focus and to do something else to improve my quality of life. The first thing I want to deal with is my depression. With depression, I am not willing to do anything nor enjoying anything. So I started taking my antidepresant two days ago. That's a good start. Since I can't go out and exercise due to my disability, I exercise at home. Exercising helps me with my self esteem. I have the other areas I want to improve like dating, having a better job. But currently those are not possible. So I will focus on something within my reach and will keep on improving. I will encourage myself to start small and to stay busy. Gook luck to me.