After I quit gambling

GF days - 130

Exercising - 1

Meditating - 1

Staying busy - 1

I want to be a bit creative. I will include the countings of the other things such as meditating, exercising, etc. rather than GF days to help me improve my quality of life in general.

Day 131

I miss betting on sports a bit because it's kind of empty inside me now. I would be busy and occupied calculating which teams to bet on. Now I don't feel like I fit in when I go outside and I am insecure to be outside to do the simple stuff.

Day 141

Each and everything improves slightly since last time. Since I can't run and do cutting sports, walking became my favorite thing to do. I have better and positive thoughts while walking. And still I haven't put a single bet for World Cup. But now I am having an urge to play online roulette. Boredom plays a major role in my relapses.

Hi Mate, your diary reminds me of my own previous recovery’s. It’s not worth returning to gambling. Currently I feel suicidal and that just because of the hopelessness of constantly relapse. You lose all joy for life.

Thank you Fronzen. Your comment makes me feel I am not alone in this path.

Day 142

I woke up this morning with low energy and depressed but I pushed myself to start walking and exercising in the house. Walking and doing some exercises help me with my mood a lot. Mostly, when I am sitting, I get depressed easily.

Day 144

I am glad WC is over. It takes my stress away because I don't have to fight the urge to bet on the matches. There is still another battle I am fighting everyday, which is lack of motivation. I will find my motivation from achieving every little thing.