Andy's Diary

Day 13.

Like last Saturday my mates are all planning a day/night out to watch the football.

And like last Saturday I've refused, if I went it would involve several visits to the bookies.

I'd go initially to place bet(s) then I'd go back later to either collect money and place further bet(s) or go back to chase what I'd lost earlier.

I'm not putting myself in temptations way.

Trying my hardest to change routine, not buying a newspaper so I can't see fixtures / race cards, changing routes to/from work, not going to shops that are next to bookies.

Amazing how the gambling brain works, I'd look forward to a text at work from my wife asking me to get milk/bread etc on way home from work, this gave me window of opportunity to get money, the excuse for being a tad later than normal and I would find myself driving past a shop to go to another shop that was next to a bookies, done this without thinking about it.

Looking forward to 2 weeks gamble free.

Onwards and upwards all, thanks for reading and stay gamble free.

I like your diary Andy. You seem like a top bloke who got caught up in a gambling web but you're on the up. Keep it up pal.

Thanks for that change, I'm really determined this time, I'm in a dangerous place though as I've been in the position before of having cleared a gambling debt and got sucked back into gambling ways.

I've no debt just now, apart from bills like rent etc, and our bank balance is okay, I'm not rich by any stretch of imagination, but as a family right now we're comfortable financially, if I had access I hate to think of the thought of being let loose with a bank card *shudder*.

Just read your diary change.

You need to focus again in improving your home, take your mind off gambling.

I can relate so much with your diary that it could have been written by me.

You HAVE the will to beat this, keep it up.

Onwards and upwards.

Well done Andy on attending the GA meetings. I'm starting mine next week and just reading your posts on them make me less nervous to go.

I was.in same situation today my mate text saying go put and watch football. Thing is our local.is right next door to the bookies. Why put myself in that position? Just to early and things are going so well why risk it.

Keep up the good work.

Your doing extremely well as well jamie, spot on, why risk it?

Only going to end one way this early in recovery.

Yes it certainly is NT, and I'm determined to keep it that way.

Day 14.

2 whole weeks.

Feeling good, refused the opportunity last night to watch the football in the pub as I know it would involve a visit to the bookies.

Glad I never went two-fold as they've all arranged to go to the Races today at Perth, 20minutes away.

Again this is a routine we've got into over the years, Races, BBQ, 'family day out' which is really an excuse for a few beers and a punt.

After receiving the text last night inviting us, I mulled it over and thought against going, I doubt if I'd manage to abstain for a whole day at the races.

When I stopped smoking I didn't buy a pack of smokes and keep them in my pocket so why go somewhere where gambling is par for the course ?

Day 17.

Still having gambling thoughts on occasion and I've noticed it more so at times I'd normally pop in bookies, after work and Saturday/Sunday morning particularly.

As I've self excluded the option to visit a bookies is removed and so far I've ensured I only have £2/3 on me anyways.

My partner has full finance control but I do have the banking apps on my phone and any time I have gambling thoughts I check the balance and remind myself that it would be at or nearly £0 had I still gambled and it's a very nice feeling to be in the black.

In guessing we're about £500 better off as a direct result of me not gambling, and that's not even 3 weeks !

Onwards and upwards.

Day 18.

Had more thoughts of gambling last night than I have had in 18days.

Was asked a question on the online chat room 8-9 that instantly made me think of gambling and couldn't shift the thoughts at all.

Made me think of previous years when that 'big win' is round the corner and you've just got to persevere and gamble until you reach it.

Hope you've had an OK day Andy. Your having these thoughts but no giving into them so that's real progress.

Ha perseverance indeed...I persevered for nearly 3 decades & any 'big' wins I had were returned with interest to whence they came!

andy14, my day 18 was horrendous but every day we have like this makes us stronger & I can look back on those struggles & know they are just dumb urges...They don't control me anymore!

Don't forget to check in on the challenge! Keep fighting - ODAAT

25 days.

Longest I've been gamble free for as long as I can remember.

Feeling good.

Have dealt with the physical side of self excluding, no access to cash, and changing my routine.

I need to now focus on the mental side, the brain of a compulsive gambler is a complex thing indeed, slightest little thing making me instantly think of gambling but I'm learning to dispel these immediately.

I have had opportunities over the past couple of weeks to gamble, and have resisted purely by removing myself from the situation, not going to the pub etc, I know at some point the opportunity will arise but I need to stay strong.

Onwards and Upwards.

Hi Andy congrats on making it to 25 days. I've been looking out for your diary and was getting a bit worried as you hadn't posted in a while. Keep it up mate.

28 days now.

Feeling good.

Gambling thoughts are getting fewer, and am learning to dispel them and not letting them fester.

33 days.

Feeling real good.

After years of being frivolous with money, I'm starting to be quite tight-fisted.

My partner gives me £2 or £3 each day, whatever change she has, for can of juice etc at work as I mostly take sandwiches.

Each day/night she's never asked me what I've bought or what I've spent, and each morning she's given me the same again.

I've collated around £15 of those £2/3 now.

Now, I'm not rich by any stretch of imagination, but we as a family are comfortable financially and we can treat the kids to McD's KFC etc whenever we want but tomorrow I'm making point of taking the kids (partners working so is unaware of this) to McD's or wherever they want for a treat.

Don't know if anyone can relate to this but I'm looking forward to it and a Friday night would normally see me thinking of Saturday football coupon, race cards, ice hockey games etc and I'm thinking ahead to the kids arguing over the happy meal toy and relishing it.