Angel From Montgomery

Hey there,

f*** em Joan, perfection is b******t , don't dance to anyone's tune only yours and P,s . You changed your life and made that decision to leave that's not an easy thing to do , you didn't settle to keep the peace...

Your made of strong stuff, and you will make the right choice with that pay check because you know what is more important.... Want you have right here in this moment not feeding your hard earner money into some lifeless machine.

Your strong and like shovelling the snow, just keep shovelling that s**t out and you will soon see that clear path.

Take care

Blondie xxxx

Hey Joan

Ditto previous posts...

Enjoying the simple things is what it's about anyways and not the hype..

I know you will be good at your job so right now I want you to get the idea of self doubt out of your head..begone!!!

Who wants perfect anyway ...the greatest teachers were not the ones who ticked all the boxes but they are the ones most remembered as they had a certain spirit which you have got my cyber friend...in spade loads..

Keep offloading and shedding the shitola ..

R and D xxxx

Hey darling,

Hope you had a quiet week at work and well deserved rest is coming your way.. 🙂

Keep calm and carry on

Hugs Hun ((((((( Joan )))))))

Merry Xmas girl, make it special and enjoyable in healthy way !!!! 🙂

S x

The more I read your diary the more I think we have many similar traits as can relate so much to the work ethic and feelings aroused.

Don't know which is worse the snow to shovel or the monsoon we are experiencing.

Trying to stay upright bobbing about on the water waving and hoping your weekend is relaxed and warm.

xxx

So ya getting your share of snow too hey. LOL yeah was dam cold here too in the beginning of the week. Warmer now but yeah big blast of snow coming tomorrow to top it off. Hell tired of lifting that shovel and thinking It's the other side of this duplex turn to do.some lifting. LOL Yup did the last 4 snowfalls and gonna enjoy watching them from the window this next one. LOL Lol Lol

Hope all is good with ya

Hi Judy... as you say...

"if you want something you have to take risks"

That resonates with me, because I tend not to take risks, at least not with my own life. I take calculated risks with my clients lives but in a good way, to enhance their quality of life...just not with my own. I stick with stuff even when it makes me unhappy... this frustrates me... and then gambling becomes an option.

It sounds as if you will get through Christmas week without gambling with the support of your loved ones. keep shovelling that snow... make sure you don't miss any... its gotta be perfect! 😉 (I jest)

Thanks for your support... S.A 🙂

thanks for the posts everyone!! I need to do better with reading and writing.. I could say that I have been busy but, then who hasn't been??? I need to do better... Every morning before I go into work I log in to read diaries. You are all my lifelines...

Diary. Sunday bloody Sunday. I got here. I survived the week from hell but barely. If I am going to spend entire days in a cold sweat fighting urges then what the hell is the point? I share the same disgust with my employer as so many others on this forum. I love the work that I do but, cannot stand the company I work for. Faceless, soulless corporations. They can hurt people without a conscience because they have none. They whack someone before Christmas and claim: it's just business. Cold calculating, bottom liners. I say, bottom feeders. Rant over I guess. I feel a little like Charlie Brown today. Searching for the meaning of it all. P tells me my mood will pass and that it is Christmas that upsets me so. That makes me feel terrible because I thought I was making a real effort for her sake. Lol. Oh well. We bought presents for the girls. My little nieces who's mom says are on "Christmas Cra ck." Mom is excited to be able to do some online shopping. She is 80 and this is such a thrilling novelty for her. To be able to shop from her rocker! Lol. We even had enough for the prime rib of beef that sits in all of it's magnificent glory at the bottom of the fridge. It is wrapped in clear plastic with a red bow on top. I do love beef. Ha ha ha. I will be thinking of my little doctor every time I take a bite. She is so lovely and caring but the likelihood of me giving up red meat is well, almost nil. Then there is the survivors guilt I suppose.... Ed, and the two that were just recently fired from their jobs and all of the folks who work so hard but, still cannot seem to make ends meet. This time of year for me tends to draw a bold dark line under these things that we live along side of every day but try not to look at. Well, I have probably depressed half of the forum today by this post. I will try to lighten up. I need to study on something that Captain wrote a ways back in one of his posts. I have got to learn to live without gambling on slot machines. I miss it too much and for me wasting days longing for it is just that -- wasting days. I am off work on Christmas break until January 9th. I should be dancing in the streets and yet here I sit... nose pressed up against the window looking out at the passers by wondering if they are happy and if I could just somehow learn to get some of that... -joanxxxxx http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA

It's good to watch people passing by sometimes..no fault there girl.

Merry Xmas for you and everyone around you love. Hope next year will bring more happiness and peace with yourself xxx

S x

Thanks Sandra.

Diary: Still Sunday. My mood much improved. I have lots to be thankful for. When I was a kid, I didn't have the choices I have today. My mom stayed in a bad relationship and we wound up paying for it. We were just kids. We didn't have the choice to leave. I could spend the rest of my life bit ching about it -- and, I would have the right to. But, what would be the point? Time to put the happy pants on and get on with the festivities. Things could be a hell -of-a lot worse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqOOUJFv1n0 -joanxxxx

Diary: Monday. Not too much on my mind today. I am taking that as a good sign. I have to get after this house because I have been away from it for a week. With doggies, rabbit, guinea pigs, and one absent minded octogenarian running amuck well, you get the picture. Lol.

I'm not even thinking about gambling today. Whew! I am thinking about all of you though. Hang on in there everybody. -joanxxxxx

Hey sister 🙂

A bit of music over the pond to you darling 🙂

http://youtu.be/6Cp6mKbRTQY

S x

Thank you so much Sandra!

I don't know what it is about the day today but, I keep saying over and over to myself SERRRRRENITY NNNNOWWWW.. Every little thing. Even if it is laughable bul lshi t is getting on my nerves. I am supposed to be basking in the warmth of the one true light. 🙂 There is something really up my a**e and I cannot for the life of me figure it out. God help anyone wandering into my path today. This is what abuse does to a person I guess. At least for me. It is never quite exorcised out of me. I get to a point and then something sets me off and KABOOM. If I try to stuff it back I will implode. Never underestimate the anger of a child. That child grows up. I appreciate this diary page because I already feel better just writing this down. Maybe the neighbor will get lucky and I won't say what I think he has coming. Now that I have my head back on.... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeaaathe joan. Just breathe....

Hey Joan,

Lost in time...lol....but hey sister hope Xmas already ur end !!!

Take care

S x

Hey Joan,

Lost in time...lol....but hey sister hope Xmas already ur end !!!

Take care

S x

Well sure hope your day got better since Monday. Sounds like ya got some decent weather by you and yeah out there this morning moving more dam snow. LOL hell them banks are getting harder and harder to toss it on. Wish we got some melting weather and yeah haven't seen much above 20 degrees here and mostly below that. LOL hope Christmas was sweet to ya.