Another new start

Welcome back Mask,

Sending you strong and positive thoughts.

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne.

Well, that's one day negotiated. Why are there SO many gambling adverts on TV? Makes me want to throw my TV out the window!

There was a certain bookies beind renovated earlier this week, and I couldn't help thinking to myself "I've paid for all that". What a mug. Emptying my salary into these places, which leads to them being able to afford more advertising and more lure for new unsuspecting customers.

The whole "industry" makes me sick.

Anyway, no major acheivement, but day 1 is almost complete. I have self excluded from the latest casino site I have joined and to be honest I'd be hard pushed to find another one that I haven't already registered with and excluded from, which is a good thing.

I have to focus 100% on stopping. I can't get a second job or do overtime to repay my debts because the thought of doing so and wasting all that extra money is demoralising. I need to rid myself of this addiction, and only then begin repaying my debts. It will take a while, but I have a lifetime.

Hi mask. Good to see your thread and have you here wanting to regain control.

I'm in the same boat. Had a relapse last night. Feel like P**P today, but I can't let it stop me from getting on with recovery.

I know what you mean about the ads. I flip the bird at the tv many times a day. Not one ad break seems to go by without a gambling advert. Makes me sick and angry sometimes.

I've excluded from many many sites. But somehow I seem to get back on by simply using one of my other email addresses. Same personal details. You'd think my name and address would flag up the exclusion. I can't type the word I'd like to use to describe these places!

Thing is, because I'm excluded, I know that if I should attempt a withdrawal my account and funds would be blocked straight away. They don't muck about if you're trying to take money out! Disgusting.

Even knowing this. Knowing I couldn't get any money even if I should 'win' I've still played. How stupid is that?!

You say you need to rid yourself of this addiction. Addictions are for life. Us CG's will always be CG's. All we can do is take one day at a time and do our best to not gamble. Put all blocks we can into place, find healthy replacements for the time and energy we might have spent gambling. Every gamble free day is a happy day and an achievement and a credit to us.

Try and stay positive. Things can and will get better if you let them.

I'd like to stay in contact with you via our diary threads if I may? As we're both back on day one together, perhaps we can encourage one another?

I wish you all the best and every success in dealing with this crazy, illogical, destructive cruel addiction xx

You can do it!

Welcome back Mask! Make sure you stay this time pal. Hope you're ok. The adverts are so bad. Football matches are now 90% sports betting advertising... on the shirts, on the boards around the pitch, sponsoring the leagues, adverts before / during / after, sponsoring competitions at the break etc! Beyond a joke and the whole thing will crash down when there is a gambling epidemic in 10 years time and the govt eventually need to control it... same happened with booze and cigs which used to sponsor everything. I'm looking forward to that day!

Heya Mask, Welcome again to the forum, I've just rejoined myself so approx 24 hours behind you, when you joined the first time, how long was you gamble free if you dont mind me asking?

And I'd also like to keep in touch with you and pinky333 if I may as we're all around the same starting point? If you guys don't mind obviously?!

Sounds good gooner. Cheers x

No problem Pinky, think we're all in a position where a few new friends would be supportive!

How is day two going Mask? x

Hi everyone, appreciate the responses. Of course, let's all communicate and motivate each other. I think that's a great idea.

Gooner - The longest I have abstained from gambling was close to 2 years. I had everything back in order, but ultimatey slipped back into old habits. Every time I return to it it absolutely devastating.

Day two is going well. I feel a hatred towards gambling at this moment so not gambling is fairly easy right now. Like previous efforts my major test is pay day. A day when I pay off some debts, have a bit of money available to me, it's proved so fatal for me many a time in the past.

I suffer from major depression. Today is the first day in months where I have woken up with no regret over the previous day. I woke up nice and early (a rarity for me), and seem to have regained some focus. Saying that, I have been here so many times before that I am aware how vulnerable I am, and always will be. The part where you mentioned I will always be a CG really struck me. This is so true. It's something you can recover from, but it will always be a part of me.

Slowly regaining control, every passing minute. How are you both doing?

Hey Mask, important thing is to not worry about gambling to pay the debt off, get it sorted on a payment interest free plan, where you just pay the amount you can easily afford, even if it's a pittance, hey my credit score is zapped, but that doesn't stop companies telling me every day I can borrow up to 20000 :(((

When we accept our debt and are resigned thst we have to pay it back, all be it at a snail pace, as long as we sort it out, it doesn't matter and therefore that is a very big positive to stop us from trying to win it back.:))

ederJeez I am nearly 2 years gamble free, I still owe 20000 in gambling debt, am I worried, am I f**k, it gets paid every month by standing order, ( a pittance I know) but I don't worry about that debt now, if I did worry about my gambling debt, I know I would have slipped. My debt keeps me in tow in a way, it is one of my biggest barriers :)).

Accep the debt, get it sorted on a payment plan, that you can afford, and then you will move forwards, because all slow NGTR it is the addiction telling us we can get out of debt by continuing to gamble Utter madness my friend, the only way to reduce debt is by abstaining and maintaining, ,:)) and that is the only sure way to move forwards

Suzanne xxx

Hey Mask, 2 years is fantastic, well done to you! And suppose we are always CG's, but its not acting like one which is the most important part of all this!! I've subscribed to yours and Pinky's diaries now, so hopefully close support will be a lot more effective!!

I didn't realise we could subscribe. I shall do that now.

Hope you all have a great day today xxx Check in again soon Mask, I'll be on here everyday to post and read the diaries.

Before last December I'd managed 18 months gf. Longest I'd ever done. I think after ruining that, part of me has secretly given up, hence 3 more slips since. But I need to take back that control and refuse to give in. This time I want to make it to 2yrs and then further!

We can do this together!

Hello Emily. Thank you for your post. Our lives seem to have a lot of parallells. Let's all stay strong.

Today you could say was my first hurdle. Back into the working week routine and that usually means spins after work, before work and on my lunch break. Today I avoided any of that nonsense and focused solely on work. Its amazing how your concentration levels soar almost immediately in early recovery. The energy invested into something so debilitating is such a waste. I love feeling my focus come back and my sense of pride. I'm sick of that feeling in my stomach that I am not in control. For the past three days I have regained some control and clarity.

I'm still relatively young. Debts will be paid when they can. For now I am enjoying the feeling of being disciplined and applying my energy in other areas of my life. Its time to finally arrest this addiction and I will succeed. One day at a time.

I detest the gambling industry. And you will not receive one more penny from me. More importantly, you will not occupy any more of my time. I'm done with you.

TheMask wrote: And you will not receive one more penny from me. More importantly, you will not occupy any more of my time. I'm done with you.

Extremely well said!! Glad to hear you have focused on other things apart from gambling, good for you mate!! I'm the same as you, roughly 5k in debt, but they'll get it eventually, no point worrying over money, its only money!

Stay strong mate, catch up soon!