April Fools!

A solid innings. You should be proud. One door closes and another opens. This time at least you don’t have the demon on your shoulder saying ‘take my wages’!

Hope you are doing well 

💪

Thank you fish. 🐟💙💪💪💪💪🙏

🩷🍎.

Day 68.

Still feeling very emotional regarding my nephew and thinking about my sister. 💔😢. We went for a nice walk this afternoon and then back to hers, to listen to some music he liked and to have a god cry.😢 . Tomorrow, we will come together - his family and friends, to remember the kind, loving, hunk of a man he was.  As his young wife always used to say to me - “he’s a good egg”! 🥲.

Tomorrow Rich - is all about you!💙💙💙💙.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Day 69.

One very sad year is about to pass 😢💔💙.  Today, my sister and my nephew’s Dad put on the best get together, for our family to remember their son - my nephew. What a commendable job they did too in their grief 👏👏👏. I hope my nephew was looking down from somewhere, watching his two little girls, happily joining in with all the other children and generally having a good time and watching his parents and his loving wife being supported and comforted by both families and friends. Rich, you will never leave our minds. 💙💙💙.

Last night was a little strange.  I was reading someone’s diary, who had been doing well then gambled and then started again doing well and then gambled again and repeated this pattern several times. This actually got me thinking about the thought of gambling again and how I might make a quick few pounds. Thankfully however, I reminded myself that whatever I have won, I have always put back - you know, that non stop loan you have when you continue to gamble/win 👎. Anyway, I reminded myself that I would only lose even more money, if I won anything initially, plus, I have my blocks in place, which is great from stopping you in your tracks!

I think what I took away from this was:

1 - I was feeling emotional at that time.

2 - It didn’t feel good reading that last diary where the person was repeatedly lapsing and starting over 👎. I am generally a positive kind of person so I need to continue to read positive posts.  I am not knocking that guy however. In fact, I consider him to be brave for continuing to get back on his horse and start again 👏👏 but just right now, it’s not benefiting me. Prior to reading this, I didn’t even think about gambling 🤷🏻‍♀️. Thankfully, my “sensible” mind kicked back into place. This has allowed me to continue on my journey safely and with peace of mind👌.

Take care all and don’t give in to any gambling thoughts - so not worth it!👎.

April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

@j5a6meyr4z 

Hey Pink

This to me is the down side if gamcare, while it's great reading people success and that helps in our own battles, I also think sometimes reading others post/diaries that it can remind us of what we used to do and tempt us back into it.

You have come so far and you should be proud, you've also just made it through a very emotional time for you and your family without turning back to the "comfort or safety blanket" gambling offers as a distraction.

Keep doing what your doing and bring that light of positivity to us all when your feel more yourself again =]

All the best x

@brownie889 Hi Brownie. Lovely to hear from you again - I was only thinking of you the other day! 🙂. Thank you for your words of encouragement and continued support. 💙.

Take care and hope all is good in your world. 🙏.

🩷🍎.

Day 70.

I have spent the last couple of hours reading a lovely diary entry of “Charlie boy”, from start to finish.  It was a lovely, positive and successful diary to read, where the lady in question had reached over 2 years abstinence up to her last entry 👏👏👏. As I mentioned above, I felt a little deflated reading someone’s diary, who repeatedly relapsed and recorded this (but I understand that for them, this was important). 

Today, my “sensible” mind is back on track 👍. I am feeling positive and optimistic going forward. It’s one of my non working days today and I am feeling somewhat bored, which leads me into thinking that returning to full-time employment on 19th August will not be a bad thing after all. 🙏.

Going to go on a little bus ride into my local town and back, for something to do today and then I am going to do a “dummie” walk to my new workplace, to see how long it takes.  I am thinking less than 10 minutes!👌.

Take care all and if like me, you have just read some disheartening posts, remember, they are not yours and it doesn’t mean that you have to mirror the same behaviour. Stay strong and remain focused on your own gamble-free journey💪🙏.

“April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

@j5a6meyr4z 

Thanks Pink all good for me thank you often think its a shame Gamcare doesn't have a way of allowing people to message the profile to keep in touch with select few better, Don't come on here as much as I should but each to their own, been keeping up with your daily posts as I always like the positive message they bring, been heartbreaking reading what you and your family went through, it's a reminder though that we never know what's around the corner. Stay strong x

@brownie889 Thanks brownie. 💙. Yes I agree with you - it would be nice but then that could mean for anyone just starting out on their journey, them not getting any words of encouragement from people further on, i.e, you and me??

Glad to hear you are still doing well and getting on with life minus any gambling👌. Keep going.

🩷🍎.

Day 71.

I am on a day’s annual leave today. This means I now only have 18 more days (and counting), doing my current job, before I leave for good!👋. I did my “dummie” walk to my new workplace yesterday and it took me just under 12 minutes door to door. It is a really pleasant walk too so that’s a bonus 👍. Either way - a 12 minute walk or a 2 minute drive, beats the hell out of a 2 hour daily commute there and back doing my current job 👌.

Nothing much on today but will pop over to my sister’s later and hopefully get a walk in with her, weather permitting 🤞. I have been filled with so much more sadness and anxiety these past couple of weeks, which has affected me both mentally and physically and I was awake until around 4am this morning. I can’t bear to think how much worse my lovely sister is feeling, a year on after losing her beloved son - her youngest of 3 💔💙😢. All I can do is to continue to support her in any way I can.

I may take a look through some of the “success stories” on here for the next hour.

Take care all and be kind to yourselves.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 72.

A late evening in work tonight and feeling really tired so I will keep this post short and sweet - no gambling, no gambling thoughts = a peaceful mind and body. 👌

Good night God bless all. 🙏

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Day 73.

Just coming towards the end of my working day. Still feeling really tired and achy. I am putting this down to grieving even more of late and not having the best sleep pattern 😢. On a positive note however, I am looking forward to a nice glass of red wine and a pizza for dinner, followed by “Treat Thursday” on the chat forum this evening! For anyone reading this and wondering what the heck I am on about, I suggested that every Thursday, for anyone logging into the live chat, it would be nice to choose a favourite chocolate bar to go with a cuppa and bring them both to the group chat 🍫😋. If you are not into chocolate, then grab whatever you fancy!

Just had a nice bit of news from work - we are all having to go through this huge I.T update process over the next month and for those that have already completed theirs, the feedback had been that it has taken them anything between 6 to 8 hours at least, to complete!😲. All whilst trying to get on with your job at the same time!! We have all been given different dates that cannot be changed and mine is for when I am on annual leave!! Given that I am officially leaving on 8th August, I emailed the department to ask if this could be postponed/cancelled. They have just got back to me back to say “your update date has now been cancelled and no further action is required “. Result!👌. I was already starting to stress at the thought of it all so a lovely end to my working day I say. 👏👌😃.

Take care everyone and so will I.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Day 74.

A non working day today. Took my sister to the big new Sainsbury’s near to us this morning. Just a nice browse around, feeling “normal” - which is always a good feeling 👌. We then went back to hers for lunch and later, as the weather took a turn for the better, had a nice glass of wine in her beautiful garden👌.

Home now and not long had dinner. Will catch up on the group chat this evening and then it’s a cuppa, some chocolate and Love Island!😆 - what I call my “switch off” “divvy” t.v!😝.

Take care all. Stay strong and so will I.

”April fools - no more the fool”!

Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.

Love to hear people having normal days, that’s what I call my days now too. It’s such a nice feeling to feel like a normal person. Congrats and keep up the great work.

I would also add that we can no longer speak due to your ‘divvy’ tv choices. I thought better of you 😂

@p6z38njbqm Thank you Fish. 🐟. My guilty “divvy tv” pleasures are “I’m a Celebrity” and Love Island.  Not sure about the “I candy” in the villa however 👎 but I have got my eye on one of the fellas in their sponsor’s - eBay adverts that come on before and after the ads air. At my age as well!!!🤣🤣🤣. Hey ho - takes me back to my younger days and puts a smile on my face!🤭.

🩷🍎.