Here I am again, this must be the 5th or 6th diary iv started and not kept it up for more than 2 weeks. But this time has to be differnent, something has to change, I cannot and will not continue to run my life into the ground through this disgusting habbit that is gambling.
Abit about me, live in south London and manage a pub for a living, love the job but the hours are long and stressful. Been gambling non stop since i was 18 (24 now), worked since I was 16 and apart from spending a few thousand on abit of traveling at 18, everything else has gone down the drain on gambling, iv gambled on just about everything, but my main struggle is online gambling, FOBTs and land based casinos. Last week marked a particular bad week and I lost more than a months wages in one session. Last night I lost a few hundred online and im just fed up of 1) being in debt and 2) the way it makes me act/feel after a big loss.
My girlfriend (whom i live with) knows abit about my problem but not to the true extent, she knows iv got debt but again probably not the full amount. I dont want to burden her with all my problems.
Iv had big wins of course, but never seem to know when to stop, and i genuinly think no amount will ever make me stop, so iv got to stop here and now. Today is a low day, iv been through all my debt and worked everything out. My girlfriend has taken control of my bank cards and she already deals with all the bills etc so I just send my money to her. Iv got some other steps in place, have contacted out broadband provider and got them to put restrictions of gambling themed websites (although its not full proof), iv just got in contact with self excludeing from multiple book makers in the area I live. Does anyone know how I can self exclude from a casino? do I have to go in? Anyways,
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, so here goes, I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.
Al
Hi al, 2 years. I'm wife of cg, change something . Tell your girlfriend she deserves to know. Gambling survives on secrets. Get some counselling, go to a meeting. Do something you haven't done before to stop this. Otherwise it will just go on and on. Willpower and secrecy will not help you stop. Good luck!
Hi ya, no time to chat but welcome back & as below for the Casino exclusions:
http://www.nationalcasinoforum.co.uk/playingsafe/sense-information/
Thanks for all your kind words and advice guys. Day one went ok. Running a half marathon tomorrow, iv always kind of been into running and im hoping to use running as a tool to keep myself busy and keep my kind off gambling. Im going to get in touch with some counselling and just hoping to get myself on track again, i feel more determind than iv ever been. I WILL NOT GAMBLE TOMORROW.
Al
Good luck buddy, you have this I know you do, I'll be checking in and hope to see a diary up to date 🙂 good luck in your half today, you can smash this and have the best quality of life in the future which you and people around you deserve, all the best.
Willing you on so badly x
Thanks for all your kind words, Naneek thanks for stopping by. Glad to see you are still going so so well and way onto your way of a double century!
Day 5 tomorrow and all going swimmingly, ran my half marathon with a half decent time, hoping to get back into my running again to take my mind away. Surviving mainly on will power at the moment but think there will be a time when I need external help. Tomorrow is another day that I will take as it comes, for now its one day at a time. I WILL NOT GAMBLE TOMORROW.
Al
Today went absolutely fine, no urges or any thoughts of gambling, I always find the first few days the easiest, its a few weeks down the line that my guard is normally dropped and I find myself slipping back into my old ways, but not this time.
Still need to get in contact with Gamcare with regards to some councilling. Tomorrow is my day off and have my sister coming to visit so should keep me busy. One day at a time.
Al
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