Back from the Brink

Day 5

Note to oneself.

Just did a calculation. If someone told you that for £36 a day, I have a way of making you unhappy, depressed, stressed and worried, would you take it ?

Ok, day 5, £180 withheld and feeling better for it.

Another obstacle in place - overdraft limit reduced on current account, and remaining money moved out into another account and locked the card in my desk draw. The device I use to access the account requires the card, and is kept at home. So making it more difficult to do anything stupid. Credit Cards also inaccessible now.

Hi Michael,

Pleased to read that you are getting practical blocks in place. These methods make gambling more difficult, and can buy you some time to come to your senses if an impulsive urge comes along. Just today I was walking home from a long day at work, and the thought popped into my head that I deserved a visit to the bookies. I then remembered that I’m excluded anyway and that was it, the urge was batted away. Who knows, without my self-exclusion in place I might have talked myself in to it, the outcome of which we are all too familiar with.

Hoping to see you rack up the big gamble-free days again like you’ve done in the past.

Best wishes

Hi Paul,

Yeh, credit cards are cut up now, so it would take at least a week to get a new one even if I got the urge, and the 2 items I need to get into my current account are geographically separated by 30min car journey. And if this doesn’t work, I’ll get the key which locks my desk drawer and drive another hour and bury the d**n key !! My bills and spending money account has a few hundred in only - I need to work out when my next bill is to be paid, so I can transfer the money over quickly and without any hassles. Self-excluded from the casinos anyway - so blocks are in place to give me at least a few hours grace to come to my senses if I ever had stupid urges again.

Unlike other pathetic attempts at giving up, I’m feeling confident this time. I’m in the last chance saloon now.

Well done for putting additional blocks and preventative measures in place. I had a near miss myself today as had some cash given to me but I gave it to partner when I got home. Working on triggers and putting in place these obstacles are a must as will power alone rarely works.

Hi Michael - well done with the blocks and I'm pleased to hear that you're feeling much more confident this time.

Let's keep gambling well away from 2018. Earning gf days seems better than losing chunk after chunk of money and it's free.

All the best for 2018.

Day 6

I get the feeling, having been in this position many times below that this is the stage of recovery when the urges can start to creep back in - the dust has settled on the last binge, the situation I find myself has been absorbed and I feel a little more relaxed (if it's possible to do so considering my losses) - these are the danger times. However, pretty difficult this time to do anything stupid with the (proper) blocks in place - also, like a snowball effect, the more time distance I put between myself and the last binge, it will become more difficult psychologically to go back to square 1. Having been in this position before, I know it will become easier as the days, weeks and months progress.

Anyway, one day at a time.

Another message to myself ....

btw ... here’s another £36 saved from not gambling for today. Brilliant .... tickets for my son and I to witness our annual 3rd round cup loss on Saturday. Infinitely better spending it watching that garbage - at least we can have a laugh about it - than miserable business of giving it to someone/thing I despise and hate. Now £216 withheld from those miserable ****s.

Meanwhile, reading book 1 of the 2018 50 classic book challenge. Considering I haven’t picked up a book for about 9yrs (about the time I started gambling), this is really heavy going at the moment.

Also have only recently kitted out a gym in our unused garage, which I’ll start using with the aim of running a sub 1:50 half marathon this year, as a springboard to running a full marathon in < 3:30 next year. Let me think, about 9yrs since I stopped doing that as well.

Also looking at getting qualified in one of the most marketable skills in my industry, which I’m filling all my boring downtime at work learning about so I’ll be miles ahead of be game.

There’s a million other family things I’d like to do as well - too many to talk about here.

But i want the noise of these exciting projects/plans/challenges to drown out urges to give money to imbecilic and pathetic gambling organisations.

Day 7

Woo-hoo. Wasn’t hard was it ? Oh, and another £36 - a total of £252, now withheld from those ******* organisations.

Read somewhere that gambling organisations offered to fund £8m Responsible Gambling Awareness campaign during Oct-17, a month later b****5 CEO pays herself a salary £217m. The whole thing is utter b******ks, and an absolute joke at best.

Oh well, the normal punter who has mortgage to pay, kids to feed etc has just paid for this lady’s next yacht. Hope she enjoys it.

Day 7 drawing to an end. Can’t say it’s been a particularly hard week - looking forward to getting into double figures come Monday.

Day 8

Will busy myself this weekend with a multitude of jobs around the house. Also, looking forward to this afternoon's football, Win or Lose - doesn't matter.

Will not even mention you-know-what because there are simply no urges. But, been here before a more than one occasion.

Day 9

Still doing nicely and still no urges. Hardly spent a penny in the last 9 days. Haven’t needed too.

Double figures today, well done!
Keep it up! x

Day 10

Another day comes and goes. I can’t understand where the person who blew over a months pay in about 30mins a few weeks ago appeared from. But long may they never return.

Hi Michael it must be so frustrating to have crazy moments of madness after so long on the wagon...I just want to say I was going to ask for my debit card back after Xmas after going over 400 days but seeing you post that you’d gone over 1000 days and the demons still set in made me think twice....I don’t really need it I’ve not needed it once in 434 days...when I need money I ask for it and unless I say I’m buying a Ferrari (yeah right) there’s no issues... some might find it degrading but I would never have got this far had the temptation still been there. I know you won’t tell your wife I just hope the blocks you put in place today are still in place in 3 years time 🙂 we’ve been on this site many years together and I hope we are on day 15,000 together when we are old and grey 🙂 xxxx and debt free wooooo xxx