Thanks for the posts on my diary, its day 75 today and I am shortly off to York for a footy and booze filled weekend! The old gambling Phil would have never had the money for this weekend and wouldn't have been invited because I was such a let down. I would often agree to doing things and then pull out! It shows how far I have come that the lads had a spare space and thought of me, in the past people couldnt rely on me! One of the lads is getting money together for a future awayday and I text him the other day asking when he needed the cash and he replied don't worry I know youre good for it. Not so long ago I wouldnt be good for anything.
No bets today, I am choosing recovery and enjoying the riches it allows me!
Great post Phil,
Enjoy your boozy and footy crazy weekend, recovery is an amazing gift isn't it.
Take care. keep your guard tightly up and ENJOY
Suzanne xxx
Enjoy the football Phil - which team are your rooting for?
Loving that the new Phil is enjoying life. Or the real Phil that has been kept back all these years!
Enjoy mate
Enjoy your weekend pal landed for you
Just on the train back, still gamble free, but wow why so many bookies in a gorgeous city. They just don't fit in!
Tranmere were awful today, feel really angry ive spent 200 pounds to again see them get beat. Luckily the rest of the weekend has been good, apart from my banging hangover this morning!
Day 76 and I'm still going strong!
Thanks for the post NT, I spent an hour having a bacon butty and a coffee in a lovely coffee shop in York on Saturday morning while getting over my hangover, much better choice than wasting time and cash in a bookies.
Day 77 has just ended and I'm into day 78. Strangely I have not been at all troubled by any urges for a long long time now, I feel at peace, life is busy and I'm happy.
Tomorrow in work we find out who our new starter is in my dept. There are two candidates and one would be very bad for me, he is a big gambler and is in your face about it all the time. I really hope he doesnt get the job, if he did I would tell him I'm not interested, but he would still always go on about it and even if its not to me it would be to others around me. I feel strong and I will try to look at him and think you total mug, I'm glad I'm not like you anymore! But I try so hard to avoid knowledge of odds, big race meetings etc and he will take the barrier away.
Off to sleep, another day enjoying recovery ticked off!
Day 78 has just ended and its been another day without any slips or bad thoughts.. I've also been promoted in work, however with good news comes bad news and the big gambler has been taken on. I'm very frustrated at this and I intend to have a talk with him and try to get it into his head not to talk to me or around me about gambling. Its not going to do me any favours if he does. But my barriers are strong and they are not going to be knocked down, I have too much to lose!
Hi Phil. Big congratulations on the promotion. Very well done! I really hope this gives you a boost and the lift needed to continue with your great run. As regards your colleague all you can do it have a word in his ear (I appreciate that speaking to the employer is possibly not much of an option politically). Hopefully you can keep a thick skin! Mark.
P.S. Final episode 10 of Fargo tonight and then can turn to Better Call Saul. I am a little concerned that only 2 episodes have been uploaded so far. I wonder what Netflix are playing at!
phil
fella well done on your promotion,take the positives out of it my friend,gambling will always exist,there will always be the advocate's of it,sharing their good fortunes,funny never mentioning their loses.
learning to live in harmony with gambling is the biggest step in recovery,don't beat yourself up over it,embrace it.
you can only look after yourself,from that the profound effect it will have on many folk's lives will be there in black and white.
Enjoy the rewards recovery gifts.
because truthfully if you had not embraced recovery would the promotion have been given?
Enjoy it fella
abstain and maintain.
Duncs stepping forward never back
Day 79 and not been in from work long. Feeling good, feeling strong and so much to look forward to. Recovery gifts endless opportunities, gambling just sucks the life out of me and I won't be going back. That idiot in work saw me today and told me how he was looking forward to the job and how hes going to get me back gambling again soon. I just said thats not happening, I will watch you being the mug, I don't want it anymore.
No bets today, no urges, happy and building for the future!
Well done buddy.
The idiot that thinks he can get you gambling will probably help remind you how pointless it is!
Day 80, feeling a little run down but its been a good day! I had my counselling this morning and really felt it went well. It felt good to talk about how much I have progressed and I really feel I'm in a better place than I ever have been for a long long time. She has told me to write myself a letter and seal it up and open it if the urges ever come back, I think this is a brilliant idea and will be writing it on Friday. I don't currently have any urges and feel I have enough barriers in place to cope if they did come back, but this is a further deterrant for me to utilise. I simply need to remind myself how awful my last weekend of gambling was and I really don't ever want to experience that again. Since I stopped life has been fabulous and can only get better, I'm loving the gift of recovery!
No bets today and none tomorrow!
Day 81 has been and gone and I'm glad to see the back of it as I have the next three days off work. I'm hoping to get tickets to a gig tomorrow night, have football on Saturday and a big rugby match to go to on Sunday. So loads to look forward to, this life is possible because I choose recovery!
Hi born again, I'm halfway through reading your diary.
Take massive credit for never giving up on giving up,we'll done on turning your life around.
Your post just after you had your last blip really struck a chord.
I've experienced all those negative thoughts,always thought it impossible to stop,but day by day belief and self worth return.
I'm battling some urges at present,your diary has helped put my mind in a better place,thanks.
Keep posting,stay strong.
All the best trigger.
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