Day 1
Hi there.
This is my first post in Recovery Diaries. I am not sure if anyone is going to read it, but I am hoping using this will allow me to express myself and keep me on track. So, after approximately 7 years of gambling, 4 of which have been constant, I've decided today is the day that I take control of my life once and for all. I've attempted to quit gambling many times, but I've never had the willpower to do it properly. Today I have registered at GamStop and blocked all the sites that I use for 6 months. I know that 6 months is not a permanent thing, however, it is a huge step for me. I plan to never gamble again and I hope I can get the courage to extend that ban.
I have mixed emotions right now. Stopping something that has been apart of your life for several years is a scary thing. I know I have made the right choice so I am proud of myself, but it's also a scary feeling because gambling is what I've known for so long. I've gone to gambling when I'm happy, sad, upset, angry and bored. I now have to be strong. I am scared but excited that I cannot actually access ANY gambling sites in Britain now I've managed to block myself by using their methods and GamStop.
I feel like this is a new chapter for me. I feel like i can finally get my life back on track, but I am not naive to think it's going to be easy. I can now focus on clearing my thousands of debt and start to re-build my life. I have the ability and the opportunity to earn decent money with my work, so now I can focus on this rather than wasting my time and throwing my money away, plus adding to my debt.
If anybody has read this far, thank you so much. It's great that I can share my story with somebody because I am all alone in my recovery. I cannot talk to anybody about this who is close to me, and there are reasons for that, so I'm having to face this alone. I'm optimistic and hope this is the first day of my new life.
I will be joining the GamCare chat this evening at 8pm. I am not sure if I will join in with the chat on the first one, but I will most definitely be reading everything that everyone writes in there. I am hoping GamCare can be my 'go to' when I am feeling frustrated and irritated. I know that I will feel those urges and it's not going to be smooth sailing. Right now I am happy, but tomorrow is a new day and I can imagine I will be frustrated and in a bad mood.
Thanks for reading, Bella.
Well done. You need a hobby to keep busy. Go cinema, read books - like paul mckenna. They all will help you. Clearing the debt will help you long term. Staying busy will be the hardest. Tc
Hi, I only started my recovery diary yesterday so am just 1 day behind you. Here's hoping this is the start of the rest of our lives. Good luck!
Jack
hi Bella,
welcome and good luck with your recovery. after reading your first post I would 100% agree that coming here when you are feeling frustrated or down etc is the best thing, things make more sense to me when I type them out. even more so that you are alone in your fight against gambling. A lot on here will strongly advise you to tell someone but if you really can't then people here will listen and do their best to help.
also with the other comments you've had, get a hobby or carry on with one, I never realised the vast amount of free time I had until i stopped gambling.
my bad moods lighten when my debt decreases, hopefully you'll be the same.
all the best,
A
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