Better to Ramble than Gamble.

Your right Alan you notice so much more. My Mum had a shoulder op a few months ago and I asked her how it was last night and I can't remember the last time I asked that.

And as for the advertising I never took notice but I probably was but not realising. Even down to someone coming round with a charity raffle yesterday in work felt guilty of saying no but I'm even seeing that as some form of gambling.

I did half life I bought several cakes. Cakes is an addiction I can live with. I love cake

I'm afraid I'm a compulsive gambler and a diabetic , so cant live with either !!! Sometimes life really , really sucks ! LOL .

It does Alan don't worry about your share of cake I will make room for it

Thank's Buddy ! That makes me feel so much better !! Have a good day mate . Alan

DAY13

ive had a really good week no thought if gambling. Finding GA really important and useful

had a bit of a blow yesterday when an old debt came back to haunt me. I really thought I had everything out in the open and genuinely forget about this. After telling people I have sorted it out but feel like I'm back to square one with people. They think I'm lying again and why wouldn't they I have been for years and I must be good at it so why would they believe me this time.I will just have to start to build the relationships again. This won't beat me

Tell the next time Martin

Hi Martin , well done on reaching day 13 ! , Things are gonna crop up from time to time mate , the diference this time is you are dealing with it !, and the important thing is whatever anyone else thinks , your not lying to yourself anymore !. All the best for now buddy and keep positive ! . Alan

DAY 14

cheers Alan a tough couple of days had my lad for a few hours yesterday which was good until he went home and I felt very alone and isolated. Decided on an early night and sleep of the bad mood got up this morning and shrugged it off kept busy and am now watching some Sunday league football

onto another day this time next week it will 3 without a bet cheers for you support Alan and good luck with your battle

Hi Martin , Cheers buddy , I think the times your'e alone are always the worst , think you just have to find something to keep your mind occupied ! . Easier said than done sometimes egh? . Congrats on reaching your 3 weeks mate , your staying focused and positive , both equaly important , do it for your boy , do it for you but just keep doing it !! Look forward to the poem when you have the time , All the best buddy ! Alan

Thanks Martin , Just read through the poem and just about sums it up really , doesn't it ! Obviously written by someone who knows well the feelings of our battle with recovery ? . Thank you for sharing my friend , inspirational stuff . Have just returned from a night out with my partner , watching Jimmy carr. My face litterally ache's with laughing so much , money well spent on a night with my gal , rather than in the bookies pocket !!. Have a great gamble free day tommorow and I shall do the same my brother , Alan

DAY 19

ive changed the days to when I had my last bet 23 sept I originally did it from the day if my diary but I've earnt those extra few days.

Sat here waiting for my GA meeting to start look forward to Tuesday hearing the other guys success and taking a warning from the odd failure I can go in tonight and tell them it's another week chalked if gamble free hoping everyone else can say the same. Back on track after a few down days over the weekend and feeling very positive.

Did someone mention cake...Loved those posts, already the light is beginning to creep back into your life 🙂

The whole wedding thing really struck a chord with me...I could quite easily picture myself doing the same dumb r*e thing had I not made it into recovery 1st! That must have been a horrendous blow to the missus & as you say, one which you may not ever recover from as a couple but you are now pulling out the silver lining from that rain cloud & maybe you will be able to salvage a friendship if nothing else! In the meantime, make the most of every second you have with your little soldier...What I wouldn't give for my mum to quit her nonsense!

You are doing great, keep fighting - ODAAT

DAY 20

thanks ODAAT some chinks of light are starting to break through.

Another gamble free day and I can honestly say in bit missing it. Not sure if this is the honeymoon period but I have not had any urges.

I was a but down last weekend but that's behind me I going to get these bumps on the road to recovery and im starting to take these head on rather than skirting round them. I'm sure they will be many more bumps to come and all I have to do is keeping going in this direction and climb over them.

This time 3 weeks ago I was watching Sky Sports news in despair, strangely bough one if my accas come in but it no where near covered my losses and I mad the decision there and then that was it never went back to collect the winning bet.the slip joined the losing ones in the and Mr Hill can have the 30 odd quid I had to stop there and then and never step foot back in the bookies.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks bet free and another little land mark

DAY 22

well just over 3 weeks without a bet. The no betting has been a breeze and wish id done it yeats ago and then I might still be in the family home. Im dealing with that the best I can and by no means has that been a breeze. Hurts everyday.

Work has been going well focusing on what I should be doing instead if constantly checking my phone to see how that latest in plays are going on some Czech U21 game or a Thai 3rd division game, what was I thinking. I'm smashing my target and earning some extra cash in work and by not betting. Been top performer 4 times this week which has meant I've got out early and spent a bit more time with my lad, he's helped me dismantle his old cabin bed today to make way for a new one. That wouldn't of happened 23 days ago

On to another gamble free weekend and going to try and nip out for a pint on Saturday. That will be a test with all the lads talking about their acca's and walking past the fruity without slipping A couple of quid in which obviously then turned into a note and then another before making my excuse and leaving as all my money was now the property of the fruit machine. I'm sure I will get a few questions as to where I have been for the last month and how the now canceled wedding is going but i can't keep hiding.

My name is Martin and I am a CG but won't be partaking in that gambling malarkey anymore.

Nice going Martin. Keep it up bud. It's a marathon not a sprint 😉