Better to Ramble than Gamble.

Hey big bro
Bound to be a funny old time for you....look what youve been through this last year....but life changes love....things change...people change....it all happens for a reason. ...even if we can't see it at the time.....
I totally agree. ...life has got to be about openess and honesty....or surely the first person we are lieing to is ourselfs ? And look were that got us all on here !
Anyway....ktf. ...I hope you get the drift of what I'm saying...
Your a great dad to that boy of yours....you've turn your life around.....now let what will be will be happen and look forward to it all ...
Did you see I was thinking about a new frock for the parties due on here this month ?. ...then thought no begger would see it ... so bought a shoe rack instead ! Lol
Sleep tight. Xx

Hiya Martin , I think this has been winding you up a bit for some time now , deep down you knew and your ex probably knew you knew ( that's a lot of knews } but until it's spoken about everything gets a bit akward with too much cloak and dagger stuff going on .

With it now out in the open it may allow you to move further along and draw a line under certain parts of your life your a great dad and that shows in your posts and if and when the time comes for him to meet this guy I'm sure you'll handle it all just as well as youv'e handled the last year :)).

Stay safe buddy and I'll talk with you soon .

Alan

thanks for the share on my diary Martin, appreciated. See you on the chat soon. tri

Sweet dreams

Have you been sent up to you room too ? :((

Well you didn't let me down did you old friend , you could have waited till I'd finished writing my card out but nothing wrong with being premature , no wonder they call you the "Big O" LoL ! . 15 days to your big event my friend and rest assured I'll be there to welcome in my oldest buddy on here !! Loved being alongside you through thick and thin :)). Stay safe Martin and KTF xx

Thanks Martin I'll give em a ring at some point in the week , the cake was great by the way :))

And as Loxxie say's 14 more sleeps , LOL !

Take care buddy x

I've not had a bet today of since my last post.

Not much to report in all honesty, just felt i was due an update

It was great to see my Bud Al receiving a few well deserved pat on the back yesterday, he doesn't need me to tell him but I can't thank him enough for picking me Up when I was down at my lowest point while he was just picking himself up,

Getting on ok with the ex after bringing up her new fella last week, he never went to her party but I used it as a good reason to bring it up. Glad I have, makes no difference to me I knew it was happening just good to have the transparency. And no plans to introduce him to my lad but at least I know I will be kept in the loop

The massive plus to come from all this is the extra time with my son, I think I see him more now than when I lived with him definitely the time we have together is quality time. I do feel like a bit of a nomad at the moment going from one house to the other eating at one my home then sleeping at the ex house when she works nights for 3 nights a week then having a couple of full days at the ex house while she is busy going out. I don't think I have slept in my own bed about 5 times in the last last 3 weeks, might have to look into a new bed for my son as his current one is not Dad friendly

Attended my 50th Oldham GA meeting this week and always try and fit another couple a month in at other spots around and about. We have one guy at GA who has been writing a book about his life with and now without gambling he read a page or so out at the meeting, powerful stuff looking forward to reading it

Another win at pool last night really enjoying that and was a good boy came early so don't feel as rough as last Thursday but am tad tired as lost track of time last night and only ended up with 4 hours sleep, I'm used to get by on hardly any sleep when gambling so it won't be a problem

ok I'm off for a bacon and sausage barm to kick start the day.

More to say than i thought there lol.

KTF

It's about time we had an update LOL ! , thought you were still recovering from last weeks match ?

You know what they say about good coming from bad and the silver lining for you in all this is the extra Dad quality time your havin , it's almost like someone has granted you a cath up wish for all the time we spent focused on the not so good areas of our live's , seize the opportunity mate , I know I have with my kids , we go for family walks more , we talk more and for once I'm focused and genuinly interested in what's happening in their live's , you probably know more about your lad now than youv'e ever done ( well what he wants you to know ) :)).

Regarding your meeting , it must be great to have the ability to write down your journey in a proper form , not just like on here ( although my post yesterday was more like a shakesperian play , as it went on a bit ) but actually a real life account of everything thats happened , if he publishes let me know as I'mmsure it will be a good read .

Hope youv'e had a bit of a catch up on the sleep front and enjoyed your barm ? LOL , I get asked for allsorts in the shop , Barm's , Barm cakes , Bap's, Rolls, butties and Cob's , guess it's just where you come from ?

Right off for My Cappuchino and Toasted granary with lightly salted butter ( posh git ) :))

Stay safe mate , how many sleeps left ? x

Catching up diarys day...stuff the chores ! Lol
Great to hear your spending quality time with your son...I know what you mean about the Xbox ! my lads the same....along with commputer games which I don't really understand.....he's saving hard for some gaming computer that I really can't get my head around what it does...for the price I would expect it to be all singing and dancing lol...but he's focused on the you save half well pay half bit ! I do sometimes worry about the ammount of time he spends on it....he knows about my addiction....as much as a fifteen year old needs to....and he does do others things...eats with us...enjoys his sister's and nephews/ neice when they come round....so spose it's ok !
I really admire the way you go to your ex's to cover while she's working..so sad when the dads not supportive....pat on back for you sir..
Pool sounds like it's a tonic for you....maybe you could bring the lads down on tour !. ..trouble is us yokels play with Shepard crooks not cues : )
Left me know when you've sorted out your days....I need to start my sleep countdown soon !
Have a good weekend x

I hear what your saying ktf. ..and your right.. you'll never know..
I'm a huge believer in " what's meant to be "
Hubby says it carp !
But...
As you know he's had a fair battle with cancer. ....actually a friggen big one....major surgery...max dose chemo. ..max dose radio..
Left with some pretty grim side effects from all the treatment and drugs he still takes. ....well...let's rewind to about 3 years maybe before he actually went to the gp. ..he knew he had a problem....I knew he had a problem...I was sure it would be cancer and told him so... a testicle the size of a Clementine only usually means one think....anyway...I tried everyway to get him to see a gp. ..I ranted..raved ..cried...begged..pleased...spoke to gp. ..spoke to a close friend of his.. still wouldn't go....so I basically said...I cant make you. ..and we sort of bumbled along for a couple of years... all the time the rumour growing and spreading. ...one night in June he walked in from work and collapsed in pain saying I'll go drs tommorrow....
Rang gp. ..and as id already spoke to him about it we went straight in....the offending testicle was now grapefruit size !
The system kicked in and he saw an urologist the next day...had full pet scans...biopsy two days later ...oncologist the next week
Was told that it has spread so much that the tumour has grown and filled all his spare stomach capacity and was compressing organs and entangled around his main leg nerve !
She was honest and said I'll give you a 60/40 chance in your favour...but I can't promise no damage to the leg !
So ....the journey started....and you know where we are at now. ...
So basically has a lucky lucky man.....had he gone to the gp sooner would it of be any different ?
Oncologist said....who knows...he probabally wouldn't have had to have so much treatment if he came sooner....but she couldn't say that for sure....
Very sadly. ...a chap I got to know through McMillan with the same cancer. ...who had spotted a ' grain of rice size lump ' and went to gp asap ......died. ....so that's what takes me back to " what will be will be "....
Blimey ktf....sorry didn't mean to flood your diary with all that....was just trying to give example. .....and maybe it needed to come out....who knows lol ....anyway....little lesson for any of you guys reading this....check your bags !

Oooh I'm curious. ...well actually I'm just bleedy nosey. ...self checked or 2nd opinion ; )
Nah...sorry shouldn't of asked...doesn't matter who....just do it x

Yeah me too !! Come on big "O" spill the beans ?

Please dont say it's yer Mum !! x

11more sleeps !
Just saying : )

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

Just to keep you up to date Alan and Loxxie on the checking of the bags, mind your own business.

Had a good weekend nothing exciting but enjoyable all the same with no gambling involved. Went to GA last night and went with the intention of taking a back seat and just listening, had a few things I going on which I will share with them but need to think them through myself first, was nice that after the meeting got a call and text asking if I was ok with me not saying anything, nice people notice I am ok if a little frustrated.

As I said the other day I spoke with the ex about her new love interest and she came clean that it was going on and was relieved that it was out in the open, she said that it was early days and while my son knows she has no plans to introduce them and will let me know when she does. Well that day has come, took her less than week to change her mind. In fairness she has come to me and told me before hand but I’m not happy about the circumstances, I would of thought she would introduce him on a day out but she is wanting to bring him round and for him to spend the night, to sleep on the couch, yeah right. I’m not bothered what she gets up to, my concern is my son, I would just like the new man to be introduced slowly into his life. I’ve made my feeling known and will leave it a few days and see where we stand. I’m not wanting to be awkward if this guy is to be a part of my lads life I’m happy to work with him and not cause any trouble, the ex is my ex I don’t want to go back and will be happy if she moves on now. Me bringing him with her has probably brought this forward, I should of kept my mouth shut lol but that would only delay the inevitable.

Normally go to pool tonight but might have to give it a miss got a few extra expenses this month, the old me would of said duck it and just go but I’ll have a check tonight and see where I stand.

KTF.