Thank you all so much! Sorry I have been so absent from the group chats & my diary. Life has been crazy lately but I have honestly never been so amazed and truthfully surprised to say that today will be 100 days gamble free.
100 whole days since I last sat on my phone and deposited and tapped away my money on spins. Watching the balance go down and lying to myself that I’m going to win.
I have been back to day one more times than I care to remember. Sat and lay awake all night wondering how I’m going to pay my bills with no money. Cried myself to sleep not understanding why I can’t do just one week without gambling. Feeling that I am letting everyone I love and care about down. Wondering how I could ever have a family when I’m such a loser.
I’m not saying it’s easy, because it’s far from it. I’m fully aware that I am constantly facing a battle every day, waking up every morning to say to myself ‘today, I will not gamble’. I’m under no illusions that I’m ‘cured’ or ever will be. It is a life long battle but my gosh I’m so ready.
I still have debts to reduce, but im finding the not worrying and just pacing myself with them will eventually help it reduce. I have to have faith that I CAN do this. I WILL do this.
I sat down one day and decided the person staring back at me in the mirror is not the person I want to be anymore. From that day onwards, I’ve made the decision daily to not gamble.
I honestly never ever thought I would see the day where I say it has been 100 days since I gambled. The 18th November 2022 - that last gamble. I never ever want to go back to that place.
I am finally seeing a different life. Looking almost from the outside in, seeing the way my life was a few months ago to the way it can be, if I love and nurture the precious life I have.
If anyone reading this is just starting your journey, here’s your sign to take a few minutes and look at yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself, what’s happened is in the past, now is the time to move forwards - one positive decision at a time.
I still have such a long way to go, but I feel this is such a proud moment for me I want to shout it from the rooftop!!
I will try to be more present on here as life settles down slightly, I hope you are all doing well and healthy!
100 Days completed. Here’s to the rest of my life gamble free!
Take care.
Hayley ?
Well done, it is possible it takes time the longer you abstain from gambling the stronger you become, just be aware life itself is the tougest test as you dont know what around the corner just for today i wont gamble is the best policy no stress, live each day as it comes?
Hi
Becoming more productive is a big help in over coming our unhealthy procrastination.
I got in to the healthy habit of writing down my needs my wants adn my new found goals.
Fear and lack of confidence was part of my life long before my addictions and obsessions.
Once I get my a*s in to gear and stop sitting on my hands I started to get things down.
For me gambling and procrastination are unhealthy habits.
Living in fear is not healthy for me.
Sadly pains of my past caused fears in me that I did not understand.
By sticking with my recovery I was going to get so much out of life and no longer want to gamble today.
Love peace adn healing.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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