CJA's Diary

Thanks Alan, and yes it does get easier when you can get out of the cycle of chasing losses, accept the money is gone and realise this can't ever be controlled. The problem is it takes such a long time to get to that point with most CG from what I've read on this site, and a lot of damage is done.

Day 23 today and almost half way to my first major target of 50 days.

CJA

Day 25.

Got paid my monthly wage from my biggest client into my own account despite going through their finance department earlier in the month and arranging for it to go into a joint account.

The good news is I have not had any temptations or thoughts about gambling with it.

Moved most of the money to pay bills and pay off debts. Have a few hundred left in account which I will transfer to my savings account.

Have all blocks in place so couldn't gamble online even if i wanted to, and I've never been keen on going and betting in the bookies so feel pretty safe.

Maybe need to look at limiting how much cash I can withdraw from my savings accont per day as a precaution but i'm not sure if this is possible. If anyone knows about this info would be appreciated.

Cheers, hope everyone is having a good weekend

CJA

Well done CJA, positive post and 25 days is a great achievement,

Keep going and keep strong.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Suzanne thanks so much!

Day 26 and another good day - feeling more like a normal human being and I like that feeling a lot!

Got so much more work to do though so not getting complacent at all.

CJA

Day 27.

All quiet here, no gambling and no urges to do so.

CJA

Day 28.

Still feeling good about things, just been reading some other diarys and hearing of at least three people that have gone 2 years or more without gambling and then slipped up. In both cases it seems like they got back on track quickly and didn't spiral out of control, back to their old ways but still a warning to remain cautious at all times.

This forum really helps me, keeping a diary and reading others stories. Hope it will continue to do so.

CJA

What an excellent read CJA your doing all the right things even through my computer I can feel you starting to enjoy your recovery. Did you ever get round to the counselling? It not something I have considered but I have been attending GA which I have found a great help

Looking forward to hearing you reward on Christmas Eve I will be 100 days on NYD not planned it that way but I will take it.

Thank you Oldhamktf! I have read your thread and you have done really well, and 100 days on NYD is a great milestone!

I've not done counseling or GA yet but it is still something i'd like to try. I do find the forum really good too.

Day 29 no urges to gamble and had a productive day at work, and a nice evening at home with the family.

To me cutting off access to online gambling is a huge relief and I think it is something the government really needs to look at and quickly.

24/7 access to gambling is not right. As others have said with alcohol and drugs there is a limit to how much your body can take and you have to stop at a certain point, but gambling is not like that.

Day 30.

Nice round number and my first month gamble free. The last few days have been great, having spare money and free time beacuse I haven't gambled, my mood has been considerably better and a lot more stable without the ups and downs of gambling. Spent money on some new tech stuff for the office.

Long may it continue! Will continue to read posts and diarys on here and remember how important it is to avoid that first bet no matter how small or insignificant it seems, gambling for me is not a pleasure, or something that can be controlled. Totally ready to let it go for good.

Day 32.

Lovely weekend with family, nothing spent on gambling and no urges. Very happy man at the moment!

Nice one CJA - keep going and don't give the snakes anymore money.

Thanks Change. Just read your diary, sorry to hear of your relapse, hope you can get right back on track! Gambling won't bring anything positive for you, me or anyone else on here that can't control it.

Day 33. I wouldn't say I don't ever think about gambling any more but the urges are a lot weaker and easier to manage.

Getting closer to 50 days which will be a great acheivement considering how hard it was at the start to get through a couple of days without relapsing. Things have already improved a huge ammount in my everyday life so looking forward the future gamble free.

CJA

Thanks CJA and well done on day 33! I'll get there CJA and I'll be chasing you all the way. Each knock affects me and I'm gathering an understanding of what I need to do to get over this. It's taken me more time then others but hopefully I'm there now.

Hi Change, I know for a lot of people it takes many attempts to give up and relapses are common.

For me all the other times I have 'given up' it was with the frame of mind that I needed a break from gambling to gain control, and that I could try again and find a way to win, and manage my gambling instead of my gambling controling me.

This is the first time I have actually admited I have a compulsive gambling problem, one as bad as anyone else on the forum, and that I can never control gambling.

I think with that determination to not place the first bet no matter how small it may be, that I will succeed this time. I also need to look more into why I have gone down this path in the first place and got sucked into the horrible lose / chase / recover and do it all over again cycle.