The value of money
I've heard this a lot recently in various meetings and meet up with people in recovery that they have experienced exactly the same as me in recovery.
When I first came in a literally shut down spend. Probably didn't spend any money at all for the first two weeks of recovery because everything looked expensive to me. I started walking everywhere and wouldn't even buy a coffee. Maybe there was an element of shame and not feeling I should treat myself but I still think it's down to putting a value on money and what I could spend it on.
Once that period was finished, I found myself spending money on anything. Overloaded reward system for giving up gambling ? I don't think so. I am sure for me it was addictive behaviours desperately trying to slip into my life again to get that all important buzz before it was too late and my brain had rewired enough to not need it.
I recognised it pretty quickly and put a stop to it. Very much a rollercoaster situation again within recovery. Spending nothing, over spending and now normal spending weighing up the need and the value.
Hi Stuart!
I resonate with this so much! I have spent so much money and time gambling, now I’m 11 days out and worried to spend money on anything just feeling like I want it to sit there so I’ll feel better quicker.
im finding this 2 weeks really difficult! So much emotion to process and a constant roller coaster!
Is that how it was for you? I’m desperate for it to start to feel better
Hi Hana
Yes it was. The first month was really awful for me. Emotions and feelings flooded back. sleep was all over the place and had no direction really. Then I started working on myself and started turning up as the best version of me each day
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