day 1

Well done jess your doing great , keep it going. Just catching up on your diary.

Having down days is something I can also relate to .

But we'll done for not gambling , just think how worse they could be. Well get through it lots of ppl have cr** and ups and downs in life and ever give gambling a thought. Lets strive to be like them long term.

Take care x

Fitzy

well diary, i dont really know what to say except my lack of being on this site for the last 2 weeks is unfortunately due to me gambling. i could go on about how disappointed i am in myself (which i am) but at the moment i really dont have the energy, 2 weeks on and gambling yet again has sucked the life right back out of me. surprise surprise. i will get back on track why? for two reasons because i have to but most of all because i want to,

hit 50 days felt great and then out of nowhere wasnt expecting it at all i just did it and was sucked straight back. shame on me i should know better! i want to feel like i did 2 weeks ago again and like i did for pretty much all of those 52 days.

feeling disappointed and overwhelmed 🙁

Hi Jess,

I have been in the same boat recently but you've done so much better than me racking up all of those days. The damage to you was only two weeks so pat yourself on the back for stopping so quickly. I don't know if you feel like I do at the moment but my mind doesn't want to give up as I enjoy gambling but I know deep within that I need to give us as I am damaging myself and making myself feel depressed. That is what I am trying to get my head round at the moment my demons are winning and I am carrying on. Get back on track if you feel motivated enough too otherwise leave it a few more days for your head to clear.

Andy

Oh dear sorry to heare this jess, you were doing so so well.

When I checked in on weekend and saw not done entry I hoped you were ok and not succumbed to temptation.

Brush yourself off, it's only a teeny lapse, in grand scheme of things your doing superb.

Your back here aren't you??

I'd imagine many don't make it back, good on you am proud of you!

You can do it, you can beat this!

Don't forget it's a lifetime journey and a life choice not to gamble, but the road was never meant meant to be smooth, it's a neverending road for rest of life so bound to be odd boulder. You just happened to hit one last few weeks, nothing to be ashamed of.

Fitzy

Hi Jess

As Fitzy says it's only a slip on the road to recovery

You have done great to come so far

You will now continue on this roller coaster a wiser lady well done for not giving up giving up and that is sooo positive for you

Take one day at a time and hold on tight again

You have done so well to stop and come back here

Suzanne xx

Hey Jess sorry to hear about your relapse! 52 days is a great milestone to hit! And something to build on!

Chin up! It happens, learn from it, and get back on track!

Hi Jess,

I haven't been on here for a while, but just read your post from a few days ago and really felt for what you are going through. I thought I should post because you really helped me so much when I was having a crappy time a few months ago. You offer great advice to people on here so just take that advice and focus it on yourself. Be kind to yourself. I know you'll do fine - you're a fighter.

Granite

hi to you all, thank you so much you honestly dont have any idea how your words of encouragement can help it honestly does drive me back onto a positive track im just getting my head together and have every intention of staying close to this site yet again. ive f***** up yes i am taking full responsibility for my actions over the last few weeks but i know if i keep dwelling on it i will just stay on a slippery slope im ready to feel good again im ready for a better life i want to be, i need to be hope you are all well.

starting strong again

jess

Hi Jess

Very well done on not giving up giving up

Stay strong and determined and focused

Life without gambling is so SANE

Suzanne x

Hi jess you ok?

Missing you, see you not checked in on challenge thread?

Just wanted you to know am thinking about you. You can do this, don't give in, really hope your ok?

Be good to see you back, reading your diary really helped me, one relapse is nothing.

Remember is lifetime programme / project, remaining gamble free;)

Take care

Fitzy

Well its been four months since my last entry in this diary ive just been reading through it and god I miss feeling that peace. Over the last few months the gambling has been creeping back up on me by no meqns have igot myself in the state I was previously but even being back in this position where any thing is going on it is the reason I am back asking for your support again. I was so disappointed and if im honest ashamed of my self after my slip last time I kind of just went into myself and that wqs that but I have made a promise to myself no matter what I stay as close to this site as I need to to help me through the ups and downs.done a lot of looking at myself as a person recently and anyone who has done this knows it isnt easy but I have to face facts I need to get my life back on the right track. I have so many positives to live for right now and in the coming years I dont want to taint these with gambling and all the attributes that come with it.

You need to keep going and everytime you feel like a gamble remember that rubbish feeling of a big loss, has I found out first time round it does get easier - we just can't be too complacent.

paul

Hi Jess,

Sorry to read that gambling has crept up on you again, but well done on realising that this horrible addiction, is not doing you any good whatsoever, and I am pleased you have come back here for support with your recovery.

Its not easy Jess but with determination you can do this, I know what you mean about looking into yourself it's not nice, but I believe we have to do this before we can move on.

Don't be too hard on yourself, this addiction is horrible, and it's tough to shut it out, especially after abstaining for a while and then slipping.

You are not a failure, you want help again and this is a big positive for you.

My support is unconditional as always Jess, keep posting and get back on that rollercoaster and hold on again tight.

Take care,

Suzanne xx

even though technically today isnt day 1 for me (tomorrow will be) i am feeling so much more at 'ease' knowing tomorrow will be the start of a new journey a gamble free one. by no means do i think this will be an easy road if anything from my last time using this site it has just given me more awareness regarding complacency and how quickly it can occur. i have a busy day tomorrow so i am hoping that will keep me occupied enough to make tomorrow a little easier. until tomorrow goodnight diary.

Yo,

Dust yourself down and start again. This is not an easy nut to crack , I've relapsed more times than I care to admit . But picked myself up , dusted myself down, and walked down that recovery path again. Without doing so , how do I stand a figs chance of getting near to who I want to be, or where I see myself in 1/2/3 years.

I wish you well Hun, I can see your commitment to this site which has acted as a helping hand to many a good soul , who will walk along beside you.

Stay strong , tomorrow as you said a new dawn

Shiny

Shiny