Day 1

Day 1 of taking back control. I have had many day 1’s but they have all been only me supporting me, because I knew I wasn’t fully finished with it deep down. 

I have gambled for quite a few years, but it only became a problem in the last year where I found myself going into an over draft every single month and surviving of nothing until I got paid. 

I’m so sick of it. I could easily save more in a few months than I have ever won. 

I self excluded from the foreign sites last night, the ones that would listen to me, the others clearly don’t care. I downloaded Gamban and I’m already on Gamstop. I also requested a new debit card and cancelled my current one as I know the details off by heart.

Thankfully I haven’t got into uncontrollable debt. I have a credit card with a few thousand on but it’s interest free. I can and will pay it off easily without stress.

I definitely have a lot of problems that I have never dealt with. I grew up in an abusive home with a mentally ill mum and alcoholic dad. I think for many years I just hid the pain. However, when I left my last job after 10 years of pure stress (my boss was horribly narcissistic and a bully) everything came to the surface and gambling was my way of not dealing with it but escaping.

I am now at a new job and have been for over a year, lovely place and people but still found myself burying the pain from before with gambling.

I can do this and will do this. Today is day 1 of my new life gamble free.