Time to beat this addiction for good!

Hi DW

I gambled for 44 years and gave up 8 weeks ago. From my own experience self excluding on Gamstop made a huge difference along with MOSES and SENSE. Gamban really helped on all my devices to block all betting websites UK and abroad.

I started coming to the chatrooms everyday and joined GA. Built myself a support network and started counselling. Walking helped with the lack of dopamine

It's not easy but it does get easier. I've hurt a lot of people and have a huge debt but im not forgetting my past but using it as a reminder and to grow 

When I gave up it was the worst possible version of myself and im slowly getting back to the real person inside me. It's going to take many years of work but it took me 44 years to become the worst I could so will spend the next 44 years becoming the best I can

Stuart

Day 2

Thank you for your message Stuart. I'll definitely look at joining the chatrooms from time to time, especially if I'm struggling.

Had a good night last night, read a book while the darts was on in the background, didn't have any cravings whatsoever. However I've had plenty of days like this, the challenge is keeping it up.

Went to the gym this morning to clear my head and feeling pretty good ahead of the weekend.

Will check in again on Monday.

I always feel like it's me Vs my addiction. For years the addiction won and made me someone I didn't want to be - the worst version of myself. The first two weeks were the hardest and although its always going to be there, the non gambler is growing day by day and it feels good. Life still throws itself at me but I'm learning to cope day by day.

At GA one of the messages is just for today. Living in the present and taking each day as it comes and trying not to worry about the future has been tough but it does work

Good luck

Stuart

Stuart u are doing amazing here my first post at my worst this was 921 days ago Im making my first diary on this forum, its my first day since my last relapse which lasted nearly a month i just couldnt quit im now in debt each time i have relapsed i have made it difficult for myself i cant change the past but i have the ability to change the future, i have been gambling on and off since 2006 this is the first time i have done gameban mosses and barred myself i made the agreement do what i can and take each day as it comes and with time i know it will get easier has i have previously experienced life without gambling here to a new start

Day 5

Fairly bad weekend, felt really low at times but have nobody to blame but myself. 

Went to football, saw a couple of films, read some more and went to the gym so kept myself pretty occupied.

However, I did not gamble a penny which is a positive, but the days leading up to next payday are easier for me as I know where I stand money-wise. It's when a large chunk of money hits my account when I struggle. 

If I can get through to payday on February 26th (which would be 43 days gamble free) that would be a huge step in the right direction, and the longest I haven't gambled for over 20 years. At this stage I don't feel confident I'll achieve that goal but I want to stay determined...

Will check in later this week with my progress.

Hi DW

It sounds like you are working hard on a plan with goals to get there. I love using my gamban app to show me the days and it's two months gf today. For all of us it's just one day at a time but you sound positive in your determination 

Day 7

Thank you Stuart, I'll have to give gamban a look.

I've actually taken more steps in the last week to improve my situation than I've done in years; deactivated several accounts and put card freezes in place, may even look at putting "parental controls" on my web browser so I can't access any sites, as it would be very easy to create a new account.

Having said that I've not had many urges so far this week, work has been busy so I've been fairly preoccupied.

Booked a European weekend break in March so have something to look forward to. If I can get there gamble-free I'll count that as a huge win, but will be extremely difficult.

Day 11

Felt really low again this weekend, mentally drained and struggling to find motivation to do anything right now.

Have a week off work from Monday, with payday coming up tomorrow as well it will be a difficult week.

Determined to get through it though, and will post again during the upcoming week.

Try and come to the chatroom at 8. They are really good 

Day 12 - Payday 

Mixed feelings this morning. While I'm determined to make it to next payday gamble free, I simply don't trust myself enough to make it through. 

I have a week off work so need to fill the time with as many distractions as possible, as I don't know what the next relapse will do to me. Got a few trips/days out lined up which I hope will take my mind off things, but I know subconsciously I'll be thinking about money and what I've spent the entire time. 

This addiction and the situation it's put me in has left me feeling drained and empty. I have no social life, very few friends and no ambitions and I put it all down to gambling. 

Good idea with the chatroom Stuart, I've been on them before and found them beneficial (only to relapse again). Will try and join later.

You have friends in this community

Stay strong

Day 15

Reached the 2 week mark, still feeling pretty low but need to remind myself that these are early days. If I can make it to next payday that will be 43 days, and the longest time I've gone gamble free in over 20 years.

Have had the week off work and while the urges have been there, they've been minimal and I've been able to occupy myself with other things, such as reading and gaming.

Next few weeks are going to be challenging but I'm determined to get through it.

Day 18

Happy February all!

After what feels like an eternity, January is finally over! Had a good weekend so far, went to football yesterday and didn't gamble a penny, didn't even have any urge to. Had friends telling me about how their accas failed and remembered how that would be me most of the time. 

Feeling a bit more upbeat with each day that passes. I know that this will be a long road to recovery (although it won't be a full recovery) but I've made positive steps in the past couple of weeks and intend to stick to them. 

I have plenty of distractions so there's no excuse for me to relapse, just need to exercise that willpower.

Day 18

Happy February all!

After what feels like an eternity, January is finally over! Had a good weekend so far, went to football yesterday and didn't gamble a penny, didn't even have any urge to. Had friends telling me about how their accas failed and remembered how that would be me most of the time. 

Feeling a bit more upbeat with each day that passes. I know that this will be a long road to recovery (although it won't be a full recovery) but I've made positive steps in the past couple of weeks and intend to stick to them. 

I have plenty of distractions so there's no excuse for me to relapse, just need to exercise that willpower.