Hi everyone, my names Gavin.
I been through a pretty rough time the last couple of years. Just one thing after the next. I reached a point in my life December last year when I joined this forum.
I was so determined to beat it and I did for over 100 days. I was gaining control of my life. Trusting myself with money. Gaining the respect of everyone around me. Rebuilt relationships that had been damaged from my gambling.
And for the first time in 10 years I had become pround of myself and in control.
Until one day I just woke up and thought. Whats the harm? I felt like all my resistance as to why I had stopped had gone again. I went into the shop to buy something and I saw the newspaper had horses on the front (around the gran national week) and I decided that day I was going to do it.
From that day I have been doing it pretty much every day again. It is making me unhappy. I am getting caught up in the whole thing again and I need to stop so I have come back to where I started.
I am telling anyone who is thinking about gambling do not do it! As soon as you put that first bet on you will loose control and eveything you have been working towards will be gone in a flash and you will end up going straight back to the person that you hate!
Motivation to stop needs to remain at all times! Winning ends in loosing! SIMPLE AS THAT!
Do not make the same mistake as I have. Keep going to 10000 days! Do not give up when you see the number of days increasing, never take a relaxed view!
I hope to get back on track now before I cause real damage and loose everyone in my life for good!
Il update my diary tomorrow. Good night everyone and stay 100% strong.
Hi Gavin and welcome back..
Sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing but you posting on here just shows that you're not ready to give up and will be fighting for your freedom!
It is nice feeling to be "present" and not in the mist of a bet huh..those highs and lows...
Us addicts are common to get in comfort zone of "one bet won't hurt"..as you have learned yourself - it does hurt 🙁
I've been there, many others were so don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes..what we learn from them matters the most вє
Any plans in place to stop the complacent thoughts? Barriers, outside peer support?...can't do it by yourself so the more support you have the better вє
I wish you well...stand back up and the walk dear soldier!!
B&S xx
Hi thanks for the support. Im struggling at the moment because I have lied to gain money again from family and I cant tell them the truth because they thought it was behind me. If I told them they would be devastated.
Ive put a block on my betting account and know that I need to get a couple of perfect weeks behind me to get the momentum back and get my life back on track.
Thank you for your words of support.
Best regards,
Gavin
Damned honest post Gavin. I can imagine it might have been hard to be so open. I think you probably know what you need to do as an individual without me lecturing etc. I lied, stole, pawned, borrowed...sometimes it can be an eye opener when you tell people you've gambled again - yes people will criticise you but you will - in my experience - get support as well. Start your journey again with support from me and other recovering gamblers on the forum and maybe start a diary if you haven't already. Best wishes, Phil.
Gavin I'm in pretty much exact situation as you are right now . We have to stay strong to get through this ! Keep going and think of doing it one day at a time . I'm wishing you the best of luck .
Gav I wished I read thus a couple of hours ago. I was 4 weeks free but blew it tonight. Try and regroup I will too I didn't even enjoy it. I can't for the life of me understand what got into my mind but I need to get over it. I'm glad it's not the football season now or I'd be looking to lump on something to recoup losses
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