I knew this journey to recovery wasnt going to be easy, but I was hoping I might at least get through the first few days without struggling too much. Its day 1 for me today and I'm already tempted to gamble again. Little voices in my head telling me to just try £10 I might win. But it wouldnt just be £10 and whether I won or not I would eventually lose as I dont know when to stop.... thats what I need to keep telling/reminding myself.
As soon as I woke up I had the massive urge to log on and spin away my money. I did play probably every day but never seemed to have the urge from the moment I woke up. Maybe its because I know this is the end of that horrible horrible addiction. Me and hubby had a massive fall out last night and I dont know if I maybe went to gambling to numb myself from other every day worries?
Fingers crossed I keep strong and get myself there, day by day. I need to do this for my family, and for myself.
One day I will be 100% gamble free and hopefully also debt free.
Hi...I found those first few days the hardest love...have you got blocks in place so you can't play...distraction...changes your routine....my first thought in th morning was always...slots !....no easy answer...just take it daily...or even hourly...when I had a urge...I would log on here and read...that really helped...I'm 2 months gamble free....and with time...blocks...honesty..and support it has got easier...good luck hun xx
Hi again , your going to have triggers that are going to send you running into the arms of something you've always found a comfort and having a fallout with your OH is prob gonna do it . You have to learn over time to recognise these triggers and do something to get your mind off of it , even just going for a walk or have a bath , anything as long as it gives you time to think and allows the urges to pass . Early days , so don't expect thoughts to change overnight ? Take care and you'll be fine , little steps !
Thank you both x still really struggling. Can't wait to be able to go to bed so I can wake up on day 2. Wouldn't wish this awful feeling on anyone x
Day 2.... woke up with the determination that I will get through this and it will get easier as the days go by (hopefully). I really struggled yesterday and felt like giving in but thankfully I didnt. Made plans for all weekend so its just to get through today then hopefully the next few days will be a bit easier 🙂 xx
Keep it going Lau!! Makes a big difference if you got something to occupy yourself with x
Thanks lady xx did you get any info on counselling? How are you doing? Xx
Day 3.... I know it's still early days but I am so proud of how I did yesterday. I did log in to my gambling accounts.... To permanently self exclude from every website I've ever joined!!!! Didn't get tempted to have "one last go" just got rid. I know there are plenty more sites out there but hopefully having to sign up would give me that extra thinking time to stop me from relapsing. Husbands off this weekend for the first time in probably months so that will give me extra support and distraction today. 2 days clear of gambling and I'm feeling so much more positive about life already and that I can live my life again without this horrible addiction. Actually excited for the future xx
Massive well done on the exclusions...well done xxx
Thank you loxxie how are you doing? Xx
I'm good thanks hun. ...really feel so much better with everything....hard to explain love...all I can say is take one day at a time....do what works for you...and i promise you things will get better...have a good weekend xx
Thanks Deano 🙂 enjoy your weekend xx
Day 5.... Didn't post yesterday as was busy all day so kept the temptation away. Going to have a massive spring clean at home today to keep busy and try have a clear out to get my house feeling nice again. Hoping the nice weather keeps up so I can get out with the kids quite a bit this week too 🙂 x not feeling any temptation at all today, if anything just feel quite angry that I let it get such a hold on me! Start my counselling tomorrow so I'm looking forward to that xx
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