Bit of a cheat as didn't have the opportunity yesterday to post - mad busy day in a relaxed manner - but still Day 8 Gamble Free!
Hi Wolf
Day 8 well done keep going and keep keeping strong one day at a time
Suzanne x
Day 9 Gamble free today!
Yesterday was weird as went into work for a few hours whilst the car was at the garage being serviced then went fro a gentle wander around town, sat and watched the world go by outside a coffee shop, and had no thoughts of gambling at all even though I had a wad of cash in my wallet to pay the mechanic, walked past umpteen bookies
Hi wolf
Very well done so far on your new journey which really is the only way to go for us
You are right about talking to OH when gambling it was a big nought in the end except to say to him I was only playing with bonus points (what a joke) I was playing for my sanity with every pay day loan I could get hold of
He had no idea so now the big. Crash that was doomed to happen we do talk about gambling more not a lot I am hanging on to this relationship on a very thin line
But we both find it hard to talk about but we know it's there all the time he calls this forum my bible and does not mind me being on here Infact I think he is relieved that I come on here now
Don't think you have to talk about it much if neither of you want to and it's not letting sleeping dogs lie it's moving on and forward but we are all different in dealing with this addiction and so are our partners so if it helps to talk about it together then do we have to do anything and everything( without.hurting other people )we can to abstain from this awful addiction so if that works for you thats great
Take one day at a time and you will win one day at a time
Thank you for your post very appreciated and have taken on board about OH
Have a good gambling free day
Suzanne x
Hi E1 - Day 11 GF and a great Sunday to enjoy! Still gardening like mad, I call it gardening but mostly its digging up 100 year old foundations and bricks!! But soon going down the pub for lunch! Another great gambling free day! Hope everyone else is enjoying that feeling of a good nights sleep too! Well, after the WC & England game, not too easy to sleep well, but for different reasons than normal.
Thanks Suzanne for the interaction in posts - it feels good to know others are reading these! Apologies to Mr B on 2014 Challange for not logging in before midnight last night - too caught up watching football!!
Marching forward to a gambling free future, abstaining by choice, one day at a time! good luck everyone else on that same route. Cliff
Hi Cliff!!
It's brilliant to see you getting through the first 10 days - double figures always feels like progress!! They were definitely the hardest for me!
No apologies required mate - you were checked in and all was good for last week!! Just make sure you're on the ball again this week and get the questions answered from the update!!
Have a great week!!
Mr B
Day 12 and gamble free. I think its day 12. I was thinking this that the first day should be day zero, and only after 24 hours have you been 1 day gambling free, although this is the 12th day, but then I started confusing myself and the OH, so we'll stick with what I started with so this is Day 12 for me. Whatever day or day count it is - its all been gamble free and abstinence rules.
I may not have bet or gambled physically but mentally is a different matter. Especially with the WC on. i found myself mentally thinking if i was a betting man i would place a bet on this final score, or that first goal scorer and then,being so absolutely wrong as I always was, found myself congratulating me on not wasting any money feeding the bookies on what is basically anyone's guess and totally random.
Mondays is always going to be a hard day as I don't work on Mondays and usually, if I had had a good weekend, or even if i had had a bad weekend - any reason really that I could use as the excuse I would have a bit of a flutter on-line mainly on line poker slots with the pretense of playing a bit of harmless bingo! But abstained today, by choosing to do so [abstain that is] and work through the habit and urges by not thinking about it! watched catch up TV; did the housework, took all the rubble we dug up at the weekend to the tip and such like. Even this afternoon when I had run out of things to do, I just spent an hour or so window shopping on-line and on e-Bay. So Day 12 done - marching forwards to Day 13 and a gamble free future.
Hope everyone else is doing so as well and remember you are not alone on this journey.
Thanks for reading - and thanks Mr B for the response and will def answer the questions on the challenge ~ probably on Friday PM.
Cliff
Day 13 ~ Gamble free & still abstaining by choice one day at a time. Marching forward with the troops to a gamble free, debt free and happy future.
Not been too bad today as a working day, so opportunity not there, and this evening we are going out so not much time between home, domestics and out! So, another gamble free day and not really missing it today to tell the truth. But that is where one needs to be cautious, just in case you get complacent, thinks it's 'safe' just to play a few quid - that's what happened at the 1st & then the second relapse [as if the brain was saying the first may have just been unlucky - go on, have another go its only fun!!]. Yes it may have been 'fun' for an hour but the reverse is so true of the repercussions and weeks & months after! So not letting the guard down. Not gambling cos I can't win! Thanks for reading and good luck to all on their own journeys. Cliff
Day 14 and still Gable Free ~ well it was Day 14 yesterday but couldn't post for a few reasons, but was trying!! OK to post today though!
Well - two whole weeks of being gable free, richer [well, not poorer] and still marching forward to a gable free future, abstaining by choice.
It'snot easy, but its also not hard with resolve, support fro OH and not giving oneself the opportunity to gamble.
Update for Day 15 soon. Thanks for being here all, i feel the support everyday. Cliff!
DAY 15 - still Gable Free and abstaining one day at a time by choice.
It occurred to me the other day that I should have put the tens of thousands I had lost over the last 30 odd years into the stock market! At least that gamble would have allowed me to blame the banks for losing all my hard earned instead of myself :)!
Thursdays are difficult days as would nearly always have a few pounds [or more] gambling being a non working day and the opportunity is there always, no-one to check up on me etc - so hoping today to get out side and do some more tidying up of the garden, keep hands and mind busy on doing physical things rather than on the net in a virtual world that just sucks money off you anonymously.
I have been reading many threads an diaries on here, often going back to their starting days, and fully appreciate the huge struggles and changes in their lives that you are all trying to get through and achieve. In many instances [most really], regardless of the type of gambling, the amount of losses and debt, there is always recognition in their symptoms to my own situation. It is good to see that so many people are many months even years into their gamble free journey, it inspires me to maintain mine, that along with the promises made to the OH and to myself.
So thank you to all those who have placed their stories on line for all to see ~ it is a very hard thing to do! I know my story isn't nearly as bad a situation as many, but its still the same disease / illness and I hope that by continuing to post on here, someone is also inspired to march toward a gamble free future with me and everyone else. Good luck and thanks for reading - 15 days down and many thousands [hopefully] to go to a gamble free life. Good luck all. Cliff
Hey Wolf
Day 15 and into second week well done
Keep making that choice to abstain one day at a time
Suzanne x
Morning wolf
I feel the same as you no good keep bringing up what we have done our OHs are well aware of it all and yes it would be quite stressful keep talking about it
My OH quietly supports me too and I know he worries
We have messed up and it's up to us to show them we can do it
I felt negative yesterday OH sensed this no words were said and I kept busy in the garden with OH and the negativity passed but he knew x
Its hard to not think about gambling with it being everywhere we look so I guess our OHs must be reminded as much as we are which hurts because none of the mess is their fault but they Are supporting us and we must support them whenever that support is needed I thank you for reminding me of that
One day at a time we will abstain and keep going forward there is no going back for us now
And that is very positive for us isn't it
Enjoy your day and come on here when you have negative thoughts it does help even if you have to take one hour at a time
Suzanne x
Ps well done on day 16 x
Hi Diary and readers ~ today is Day 16 of being and staying gamble free, abstaining one day at a time by choice.
Not much to add for today which I spent bagging up & moving half a tonne of pea shingle from the front of the house where it was just a nuisance to the back garden by the shed where the bags will sit until we decide what to do with them! Boring, but hard physical labour keeping thoughts away from gambling.
Now watching Italy try and save England some face - hopefully!
Good luck all those starting their journeys, or on early days - just stay with it, remember why you decided you have to stop and be strong! And well done to all those well into double or triple figures - you are inspiring! Cliff
Day 17 of gambling free yesterday - OH's birthday party started at 4pm so didn't get a chance to update but doing so today!
Day 18 - still gamble free ~ abstaining by choice one day at a time.
OH's birthday today although we both had a lie in after last nights partying :). Spent all morning cleaning up & just been out for a nice lunch. Now just chilling out and winding down before we get back into going to work mode!
No thoughts of gambling this weekend; plenty of opportunities but neither the motivation or desire to follow the urges or triggers. Watching Italy has taken all further desire out of watching the rest of the world cup! What a farce and I can't believe they just weren't trying knowing to win would help but not guarantee England a place - what can one say! Gutted?? But serves us right in the end and can't really blame anything other than ourselves, inexperience and a lost opportunity. Sorry, not the right forum to ramble on about footie but...!
Good luck to all those new members who have found the strength to log on, join in and admit they are a CG and need help. I read their posts for inspiration and as a reminder to self what I have felt like as the memory and feelings fade over time, which they do. Helps keep me grounded so thank you and good luck in your own personal abstinence journeys.
And well done everyone else who are already on the path and maintaining their GF lives. Also very inspiring. Cliff
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