So today is the first day I haven't gambled in weeks now. It got really bad again like it has in the past. Yesterday I was at the lowest I have ever been but today I have sorted a few things such as setting up payment plans at a lower cost for my loans which I would otherwise have ignored. I have made an appointment to my GP to get help with my depression/anxiety and hopefully be referred for some counselling, I have a referral form to fill in after work. I have come clean about everything with my partner and although she is furious with me, there are signs we can get through this which is basically the only thing keeping me going aswell as my 3 beautiful children.
8 years ago I was in a bad place, in debt up to my eyeballs and in trouble with the law, I then met my partner and things got better, I eventually moved to another town away from all my family and my so called friends. It has affected me over time not seeing family and having to make new friends but can't help feeling lonely at times, all this has lead me back into gambling in a strange sort of way.
I am determined to make things work this time and make big changes to my lifestyle, the weekend I had has been a huge kick up the a**e for me, shame it took a big loss to make me realise what's going wrong in my life.
So yeah... day 1, this time I'm serious.
Only advice I got is keep gamble free. You'll feel better over time, and it will build and build as more time passes.
Last month I got paid and did all my wages plus another 1k. I made it through the month until next pay day and feeling better because of it. Was mega low during that month but it lifts.
Keep GF and rest just works out.
Day 2
After a good'ish day yesterday getting things out in the open and realising that people do care and want to help me... today I feel disgusting, I'm so guilt ridden and hate myself for how much I've upset my girlfriend, instead of being angry at me, I've been getting the silent treatment, at the very most a few words. I've laid it all out on the table for her so now it's up to me to make the changes or we're over.
We've been here before though but this time it's different, although I'm still getting the urges I know that I just can't go there, I didn't realise how much it had taken over my life.
I've got a docs appointment tonight to see about going back on anti depressants which I have taken in the past and to be referred for some counselling because I strongly believe that it's over problems in my life that led me to gambling in a way to get away from the real world for a while.
Anyway I know there will be bad days and good days, today isn't so great but at least I'm not gambling and have no way too even if I wanted to.
Tonight I've been referred for counselling by my GP. Onwards and upwards.
Tom_2015 wrote:
Only advice I got is keep gamble free. You'll feel better over time, and it will build and build as more time passes.
Last month I got paid and did all my wages plus another 1k. I made it through the month until next pay day and feeling better because of it. Was mega low during that month but it lifts.
Keep GF and rest just works out.
Sorry bud totally missed this, yes being GF is having its effects already, payday tomorrow and for once I know it's not getting blown as my partner has control of it.
Day 3
Sinking feeling in my stomach this morning wondering if I could still chase the losses, soon got over it though and now I'm at work feeling positive about the day and in a good mood for what seems like the first time in ages.
Day 4
Payday today and the urges are bad again wondering if I can chase that last loss. I know I can't and with the blocks in place I can't go online so it's a no go from me today, not going there.
Keep going paul. Payday is especially tough for us all as we see money arrive in our account and the desire to gamble is higher than ever.
Remember, even if you won, you wouldn't be able to stop which makes chasing the losses pointless.
Im on 72 days now and my life is so much better without gambling. it's tougher at the start but i do find it gets a bit easier.
So keep going mate, stay strong. Keep coming on here and chatting to people, and make sure all the blocks are in place which will make it near impossible to gamble.
I wish you all the best.
RA
I know, I've come to terms with the fact that of I do it again I might win back a loss but it will be the start of another cycle and ultimately I'd lose it all again and then some. I'm trying to keep myself occupied by doing other things to fill my time, it's mad how much time I spent putting bets on everyday so it feels like there's a huge void to be filled, I'm struggling to be honest but I'm determined.
Thanks for your comment RA.
Day 5
Urges are strong still, there's temptation everywhere, especially from the lads at work but it's all good, I'm hanging in there, just.
Hi Paul
Have a plan to get through these urges mate. With the weekend upon us, it's a perfect setting for a cave in. I'm only saying this from experience. I'd hate for you to give in and have to start again.
One bet will lead to despair.
Keep strong. They eventually pass and you'll be glad that everything isn't in tatters.
Catch you soon.
Thanks Tom, got a busy weekend planned which is good and the urges aren't bad this morning, I've had a rough week but I've been much happier and stress free on the whole.
Day 6 today, getting easier, still feel dread knowing what I've lost but it could have been far worse.
How's the weekend been for you so far Paul. It's usually tough with all the sport on, and all those ***** betting adverts on TV.
Keep strong and keep resiting temptation.
We can't win because we can't stop!
RA
I've been quite busy to be honest RA. Not even thought about it today, was just messing on the Mrs phone though while she was driving and seen messages to her cousin slagging me off last weekend, that's not the problem I can deal with that, said cousin suggested she tell me to pack my bags and f***f and that the "addiction" excuse is b******t. Kind of got to me that, she hardly knows me.
Oh well...
Day 7, still going strong.
Paul. Keep going with the restraint against the destructive habbit which has become our addiction. It can be so difficult in the first few weeks - trying to stay free from gambling whilst dealing with family pressures. We shouldn't really expect our partners or others to understand our compusive behaviour because it is out of the realms of normal rational thinking patterns, and therefore is deemed as a type of mental illness.
But however tough things have become, you must keep in mind that you have admitted to your problems and are prepared to face the challenges ahead, to overcome the addiction and live a better life
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