Evening all
Long time lurker first time poster
However after spending an hour in the chat this evening I feel it's time to share my story and start my recovery,
I've loved a gamble since I've been old enough. Just a harmless accumulator on the weekends football. (Now 25) however things have started to get out of hand during the last 12 months and I've come to terms I have an addiction.
Stakes started to get bigger. The addiction grew. Before long I thought it was normal to stake £1000 on a 1/10 just for an easy £100 for Saturday night. The minds a strange thing. I've always been tight fisted with money but would quite happily risk £1000 just so I didn't feel guilty on a Saturday night.
I also gained a promotion 5 months back (where my biggest losses occurred) which involves more stress and a longer commute. This gave me less spare time in the evenings so I found myself instead of going to the gym scrolling through betting sites for my next easy win.
Obviously a receipe for disaster and 3 months ago i wiped out my savings. This led me to have a mini breakdown and I revealed all to family/friends and spent hours self excluding from betting websites. I told myself I wouldn't ever do it again. At the time I felt certain I wouldn't because of the sleepless nights I went through. I relapsed this weekend. Now I'm more determined than ever to ensure this doesn't happen again. I'm scared to death the thought of running up massive debts. I've put up bigger barriers and made the first steps to getting counseling
This is easily the hardest battle I've faced in my life. I'm still questioning myself on what's causing it.
It would be great to wake up one morning and the first thought not be gambling. Thanks for reading. Will keep you posted
Hi Gary,
It´s great that you started a recovery diary here after participating in one of the chatrooms. You have managed to stay away from gambling for 3 months and you can build on this. However difficult a relapse can feel, it´s another step on the road to recovery. You put up bigger barriers and you took steps to start counselling. That´s the way to go!
You say that you are more determined and you certainly sound determined!
Keep going, Gary and I am certain that one morning you will wake up and not think about gambling first and then you will only realise when you look back how much you have managed to change. It will just be a "normal" day. That´s the beauty of it. And your diary can serve to remind you.
All the best to you! Keep going!
Gabriele
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
