Day one of what I hope is a new and normal life

I was so ill yesterday that I didn't do my diary so this one is for Tuesday

Day 174 gamble free

Starting to feel really good but yesterday I was really ill with a stomach bug so basically did nothing apart from spent the day in the bathroom. Just posting this to keep the daily diary going 

Day 175 gamble free

Good day today. Felt better. Lots of packing for the inevitable and still can't find somewhere to live. The new government rules that allow a landlord to give two months notice to sell is a joke. 

Counselling today which was my last session. Breakeven are utterly amazing

Went to my Gamlearn zoom tonight, jumped off to get on the chatroom tonight which was lively and then GA online. Good night all around

Tomarrow should be another milstone before the 200 mark if it helps shows how far u have come The 175 angel number in love signifies embracing positive changes, taking charge of your emotions, and pursuing personal growth to strengthen a relationship or welcome a new one. It encourages building a stronger foundation through wisdom and spiritual alignment, urging you to trust your intuition for a better romantic future.👍

Sorry Stuart it didnt let me edit the post congratulations 🎉🥳🎊

Thank you Taz, that inspires me to write a what I have learned post today, thank you 

Something Taz kindly posted has reminded me where I am at and I wanted to share the journey so far. 

As a caveat there is no ego in this and my recovery is all about progress not perfection. I have a dreadful past but I cannot live in that. It's always going to be there but what I do today is important. 

I consider myself in early recovery on day 176 and I can honestly say that I will probably still being saying that in ten years time. I will always be on more thought, one poor judgement and one poor action away from the next bet at whatever stage of my life.

That said, I do feel an element of pride now. I knew I couldn't switch one light off and one light on after 44 years of utter misery, chaos and slavery to my active addiction. I also knew that although I knew everything about gambling I knew nothing about recovery. 

In the first week, putting the blocks in place helped me to stay on the path. I never tested them but I knew they were there. Thoughts of gambling were met in my brain by "you can't as you are blocked". Over time that changed to "you can't, you don't want to and that's not what you do anymore". Now the thoughts are rare but are dismissed in seconds. 

This site, the community, the advice, the advisors, the moderators, the topics, the peer supporters have been incredible. I've been signposted and given so much advice I can't thank everyone enough. People don't realise on this site how much it helps by posting on your own diary, opening up a topic for discussion or replying to someone. Every word helps each of us on here to move forward. 

I can only talk from my own point of view but GA has been a huge help and working through the 12 steps with my sponsor. It's helped me to work through the reasons I turned to gambling as a coping mechanism and to face life on life's terms. That removes any need to gamble. 

Every day I am trying to work on myself to be a better person. Giving support to my family, my local community, the recovery community as well as myself. One day at a time.

Day 176 Gamble free

Busy day today as partner and daughter ill. Looked after them whilst doing more packing until my son got home. Couldn't go to GA this evening so had the added benefit of going to take chatroom. Went to GA online afterwards 

A normal day is a good day 

Day 177 gamble free

Belated entry as fell asleep after a long day

Completed morning routine, meditation which I love off YouTube, prayer and gratitude list

Tidy up the house and did some more packing

Did some more work on finding a house and trying to get an extension here

Looked after my kids as my partner wasn't well

Bit of shopping and pharmacy run, being present and feeling of service to my family.

Some step 4 work as I move to step 5 next week

Gamcare chatroom at 8 which is always good followed by GA online at 9

Then watched The Running Man film which was quite good and fell asleep.

No gambling or thoughts of it and driving forward to six months one day at a time. 

Off to see two houses over the weekend with hope 

@lp5vut869c Glad to hear your children are better now Stuart and hope your wife soon feels better too 🙏.

Best of luck with those houses - everything crossed for you and I have been keeping you in my prayers 🙏.

Six months is a great achievement for someone who gambled every day for 44 years!👏👏👏👏.

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hi Pink

Still got to get there as it's six months on Tuesday. Can't see there being fireworks, a cake delivered in the post but hey ho, I can celebrate with a smile.

Day 178 gamble free

Visited two potential houses to rent. One perfect and one too small. Put in offer on first one and got to get through referencing now so all fingers crossed. Available now as well so it's perfect and only 2 mins walk from a Costa

Popped down to see parents this afternoon and dashed back for partner to go to her work. Looked after my children tonight and watch Eurovision which I've watched every year since I was 4 and love it.

Went on chat with it in background and GA online with it on pause so now catching up.

Perfect day. I don't even notice it's Saturday ie big sports betting day anymore. Love this new life and working on myself every day.

Well over half way in my bid to do 90 GA meetings in 90 days. 

Hopefully see some of you on the 8pm chat tomorrow night.

Going for a walk tomorrow with the mighty Good Mind Circles group 

such positivity is great mate

@adam123 

Thank you mate

Negativity serves no one 

@lp5vut869c A HUGE smile and that’s an order from the pink lady herself!😃.

🩷🍎.

@lp5vut869c Lovely read Stuart and I am hoping that my prayers have been answered and you and your family are able to secure that house that sounds perfect for you all 🤞🙏🙏🙏.

Enjoy today whatever it brings.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.