Day one of what I hope is a new and normal life

Day 163

37 to the magic 200, 17 days to 180 for GA and 18.days off six months...never thought I would say that in the last 44 years. 

Today can be described in one single word

Rhapsodic 

Woke up this morning after two days of self pity with true acceptance for the fact that I can't worry, affect or control other people's opinions and not should I endeavour to do so. My word it feels good

I've spent the week rebuilding and structuring my recovery. I urge anyone to check this own every so often. I've dropped Gamfam and know the counselling will finish with the free sessions next week so I'm going to reduce the amount down but still work with my counsellor. My Breakeven green shoots has finished. I need to drop anything that isn't beneficial to my recovery and some things may work for others but have been detrimental to me. 

Sticking with GA, 12 steps, Gamcare and Evive plus podcasts. Those systems work for me and recovery must come first. 

Back doing the daily film topics which I hope everyone gets something out of. I write them for me but should they help one person it would be great. 

Looking forward to the weekend. Will be seeing a potential house to rent tomorrow and doing the Good Mind Circles walk on Sunday, then seeing parents on Monday. I spent yesterday and today with them to support my mum. 

Looking forward to many more one day at a times like today. 

Hope everyone has a gamble free weekend, stay strong, stay vigilant, don't act on urges and watch out for dopamine rushes as they could lead to set backs. Be the best version of yourselves each day 

@lp5vut869c Yeah!!! Stuart B is back in the room!👏👏👏.

Glad to read you are feeling better and day at a time is the best way forward with most things in life these days!

Have a lovely bank holiday weekend.

Pink 🩷🍎.

Day 164

Just looked through my personal diary tonight and I've been lucky enough to go to 263 chatrooms since I joined in November. I will never be able to thank Gamcare and every person in those chats enough. Literally saved my life and I will always go to everyone I can. 

Good day today. Visited a potential new house. Did some steps work..Went to GA online and the chatroom. Did some shopping. Just a good normal day and that's perfect

165 Days Gamble Free

Really good day today. Woke up early and went to the Good Mind Circles walk. So good to meet up with friends in recovery, walk and talk. Great coffee stop on the way and plenty of happiness. Two of us went for a further walk afterwards along the beach so ended up on 23,000 steps for the day. 

Drove home and went for a coffee with my mother in law, never thought I would say that six months ago lol. Came home and did some steps work. Watched my mighty spurs win, thank goodness. Such a good game to watch and they finally played superbly. 

Went on the 8pm chatroom which is always good and great to catch up with everyone. Off to an online GA zoom meeting as part of my 90 meetings in 90 days so am currently on 35 of 90.

Usual morning routine of prayer, meditation and gratitude list. End of day is inventory list. Don't some work on Step 4 as am on Who am I, stage of step 4.

Not been able to spend a huge amount of time with my family but will certainly be doing that tomorrow. 

Day 166

Funny how much recovery changes you and the way you think and more importantly act.

Firstly I'm on the run towards some targets. The biggest one is being 34 days away from 200.days gamble free which is a milestone I always wanted to get to. In terms of GA, I will hit 180 days at one of my GA meetings in two weeks and at my first home meeting two weeks tomorrow I hit my 6 months and change over my keyring. I will be so proud that day in front of everyone who are now friends, but I've still got to get there.

So today was a good day again. Plenty of box packing for the move but not found a house. I've learnt in recovery that I can only change what is in my control so as long as I do that then I can be happy. What will be will be.

Had a great chat with my sponsor about the last bits of step 4. I'm about 10 weeks off learning the 12 steps in my line of sponsorship then I get let lose to sponsor others. I know at one of my meetings that might be a few lol but it's all about giving back and I so want to work in this space when the time is right.

Went to GA this evening and passed my share as time was running out and that felt good.

Off to the Modern Meeting at 1am online which is one of my highlights of the week. 

Job centre interview at 9am tomorrow. Never thought I would say that but please don't think that is me being arrogant as it's not. The one good thing I've always had in my life is humility.

Oh dear and a big oops. It looks like I've fallen off but need so busy so I'm posting a catch up for when I read back one day

Day 167

It was a really good day. Had a peer support session which is always good. Spent the day packing and then went to my home GA meeting. One of my friends turned up from miles away who is 10 years clean and did the most powerful share I've ever heard. Also had another person come back who ive been talking to which was really good. 

Busy busy day. And of course it was Adams incredible day 2345 but I couldn't get signal before GA to hop on the chatroom 

Day 168....yesterday but I fell asleep before posting

Wednesdays are counselling day. My counsellor is amazing but she does open up my mind so I'm tired afterwards...in a good way

Had my Gamlearn zoom in the evening, got onto my beloved chatroom on here which is always good and very busy chat last night then went to a GA zoom online to keep me going in my quest for 90 meetings in 90 days. Someone was celebrating 49 years off a bet in the meeting !!! Amazing

Really full on day especially trying to work out which training to do as I've been offered 3 different ones to work in recovery and no one giving advice on what to do. 

Got told by my accountant I have over paid tax by a lot. I thought I owed them money so that will help get us through as no job at moment and can't get one. Had to sign on this week 

Day 169 gamble days gamble free 

Starting to feel like a good number and 31 days to my big goal

Amazing day today. Went to see a house which would work for us if we can get it. Have one to see tomorrow and Saturday then make a decision. Getting very worried as need to be out by 9th June

Did some step work, packing and ironing. Then went to Sam's meeting on Evive which was superb. Dashed down to the GA open meeting at my second home meeting..Huge turnout with 40 people and was great to see my friends receive 5, 2, 2, 3 and 1 year medallions. Some good speeches , lovely food and just a great recognition of the milestones.

Drove home and am knackered.

Onwards and upwards one day at a time. 

Looking forward to the chatrooms and now GA week is over will be on Friday, Saturday and Sunday ones.

Day 170 

That's 170 days of no gambling, no lying, no holding back, no borrowing, no laziness, no cheating, no stealing. 

It's been 170 days of learning, actioning and living a new way of life which I love. 

Would I go back to the chaos ? 

Another good day. Went for a house viewing which would possibly work but very small for my children but it's a back up.

Did some steps work

Got all the washing up to date, ironed and put away. My son is now on half days as he isn't coping with his ADHD and autism at school so he's with me after 1230 now but I love it. He's non verbal and is self sufficient so I need to look after his needs for food and drink and watch out for him but can get on with work.

Great chatroom tonight with a couple of newbies. Ive noticed that there are very few new posts on the forum at the moment and don't know why

Went to GA online which is my 41st meeting out of 90 in 90 days. 

Spent some time today talking to my daughter and other phone calls

Did an amazing meditation this morning on YouTube which made a difference to my gratitude list this morning. Very clear headed afterwards. 

Fear on the criminal side came in this afternoon but I can't let that affect my recovery. What you put in, you get out. 

All in all, cracking day grommit

Onwards to 171 days tomorrow one day at a time.

Tomorrow I will wake up to another blank canvas. There will only ever be one Saturday 9th May 2026 and I hold the brush so can paint whatever I want. It won't be a masterpiece but it will be my painting to spread whatever hope, joy, kindness and love

Day 171 gamble free

Less than a month now to hit my magic number

 Went to see a house this morning with hope only to find it wouldn't work for us. Got to remain positive.

Laptop and mobile dying so if I disappear off here, I'm not gambling but just can't get on. 

Plenty of packing today. Great chatroom although I lost half an hour as couldn't get laptop working. GA online which is meeting 42 out of 90 I think. 

Onwards and upwards one moment at a time 

Day 172 gamble free

Doing a morning post as I think today might be somewhat of a write off

Been up most of the night and hardly any sleep. Think I would have preferred the cause to be over thoughts but my poor son who as you know is severely autistic has been sick all through the night and has no idea of what a bowl is for. It's going to be a day of looking after him and cleaning. 

Still better than any day gambling and it's still good to be present and be able to help, whatever that looks like.

Hopefully be on the chatroom tonight if I'm still awake 

Day 172 part two

The day didn't change much and unfortunately fell asleep and missed the 8pm chatroom. Do love the chatrooms. Also got onto my GA online meeting late as well but thankfully they still let me in. Was feeling a bit meh so I'm glad I got in.

Today was still better than any other day gambling 

Day 173

What a great day.

This morning I saw someone struggling to get a mattress into a car at the end of my road so I walked down to help and managed to get it in. Never would have done that in active addiction. Had an interview for some unpaid work which went well and gave me a sense of purpose for the first time in a long time. Has a great afternoon with my kids. GA this evening and someone gave feedback and said I was an integral part of the group

Felt like something fitted into the puzzle today that was missing in recovery - pride. 

@lp5vut869c 👏👏👏👏👌. Well done Stuart!

🩷🍎

Thank you 🩷 Pink