A lot of these diaries start the same way, with a story, how people got to where they are, what they see as the reason they started gambling, how it's got worse, all of that stuff. Everyone has a story, a reason they believe they are a gambler, where it all started. There tends to be a first memory of gambling from a young age, followed by more and more access to locations of gambling, followed by adulthood and more and more access to more and more money. The addiction's the same though - some have it stronger than others but it's still constant in all of us.
I've been gambling on and off since about the age of 18, never took it so far as to lose a house or a job, or steal, but nonetheless enough money has been lost. I've not gone more than about 3 months over the last 3 years or so without at least one bet, I had a bet on Friday last week and then have chased the losses for the last 2 days, ending up with 3 payday loans and no money until payday next week now. Stupid. Completely unprovoked, been fine mentally and enjoying work, just stopped at a services and started stuffing tenners into a video fruit machine until it was all gone, then went to the cashpoint 3 more times to get more, to throw in again.
I want to actually keep coming back to this diary as a reminder - I was in GA for nearly 5 years without a bet, then I had a breakup and stopped going. I don't want that constantly part of my life any more, as whilst it helped, it did define me and I felt not respected by my other half at the time, almost like labelling yourself a loser. Which I am to be fair, but not nice for others to think that. So I want to use this forum instead.
I know all the things to stop doing, to think about, to spend more time doing. TIme, opportunity, money - remove one and you can't gamble. Still the best advice ever. But doing it is sometimes tricky.
Anyways - until next entry 🙂
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Thanks Allaine, up early this morning off to Birmingham for work, just for today I will not gamble...
Just for today I will not gamble...
Just for today I will not gamble...good weekend, son's birthday and no thoughts of gambling at all. It's the weekdays when I have a bit of choice on what to spend my time doing that are the danger times, to and from meetings at work, motorway services, etc. Need to keep strong and not give in to the temptation. Money will work itself out in the end if I keep doing the right things.
Just for today I will not gamble...
Well done repeat on your gf days 🙂 keep strong Lu x
I've done it again, about £500 in 2 days. When will I learn. Sad times.
Hiya repeatoffender, you say you know what you need to do, but obviously you are not listening to yourself. Ok you cannot self exclude from service stations if you need to travel, but most of them have garages with toilets, food and drink and fuel. If you are feeding notes into the machine, you are allowing yourself too much access to cash. Repeated withdrawals on cheque cards? Only have in the account what you need for fuel that day, or don't carry one. But maybe you don't really want to stop yet?
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